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Unexpected Guests, What to do in Lockdown?

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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 21:50
So, we're in lockdown.

No one allowed to go anywhere and no one to come to yours.

Guess are sent fromm Allah so all welcome, but!!!!!!

What do you do when someone turns up unexpectedly?

We're doing our stuff with our bbq and then the bell rings.

We say things so that they don't come inside but then they say, "Oh don't worry, we'll go from the side entrance straight into the back garden, don't worry about the virus, we don't have it"!



What the bleep man! What you supposed to do?

On top of that, we only had enough food for us and some for the neighbours who weren't invited.

Then they said, "Hey, don't worry, I'll pop over to the butcher ship down the road, they have marinated meat....."

Not that we didn't mind, Alhumdulillah we did plenty of feeding of others, spent loads of money and sent food directly to their homes to enjoy during the Lockdown and Ramadhan.

What would you do?
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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 22:14
I would politely apologise and tell them they are not invited.
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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 23:45
xs11ax wrote:
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I'm very polite.

Let me add some salt to it :)

What about immediate family?

Then they tell their close friends where to come for the party *argh*
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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 26th May 2020 00:39
ali wrote:
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Covid scenario -
Only my household would be present.
My extended family are sensible enough that they are not going to anyone's home. They are not even visiting their parents.
In the case they or anyone else turns up I would point blank tell them that we are serious about social distancing and tell them to leave.
My family or anyone that knows me would not argue with me when they know I'm being serious.

Non covid scenario -
As long as there is no pardah issue then I'm more than happy for anyone to join in. If there is less food then we will all eat less or try to make alternative arrangements.

It's no big deal. I think your issue might be that you are not assertive enough and your family/friends are not mature enough to understand and accept when it is not appropriate to take part.

Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I don't understand because I don't overly mix with too many people. My immediate circle is small and only consists of those that I trust 100%. When I'm relaxing with family and friends I don't want to be constantly watching my back, my behaviour, or what I say in case someone gets offended without reason so I stick to my close circle. I have close friends outside of my family who obviously never get invited to family functions and who I hardly see, but Alhamdulillah our friendship is such that I could call on them at night and they would come.

I don't, or at least I try not to let society dictate my behaviour. I stick to what I believe to be correct. If anyone gets offended, including close family members, then I don't really care.

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#5 [Permalink] Posted on 26th May 2020 00:44
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Alhamdulillah I am also very polite. But being polite does not mean becoming a pushover. Being a pushover and being polite are two seperate things.

I think your issue isn't about being polite or rude. It's about what today's society views as being polite and rude. Who cares what todays society thinks. Society is completely messed up today.
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#6 [Permalink] Posted on 26th May 2020 08:36
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#7 [Permalink] Posted on 26th May 2020 08:51
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#8 [Permalink] Posted on 26th May 2020 12:00
Having guests is a blessing and I'm not moaning or complaining about that.

My point in particular is the fact that they turned up during lockdown!!!!! Then forced themselves in AND cake others to break the rule :(
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#9 [Permalink] Posted on 26th May 2020 12:14
ali wrote:
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Guest is a blessing. But the host has his rights. His privacy, his comfort, his routines must be respected.

And before planning a visit, he must be consulted. Many times it happens, after a long time his family would have planned a visit, or weekend picnic etc. His family must not get affected. It could get embedded into his children's mind that "all deendaar all selfish, never care about others".

A story from elders. One hazrath fell sick, his murideen visited him. One of his mureed sat there for a long time. After others left, this mureed said "Shall I lock the door" Hazrath said "Lock from outside", message was sent across.
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#10 [Permalink] Posted on 26th May 2020 14:01
I had similar situation where every eid I would invite family friends over so I think they expected the same. When they didn’t hear from us they rang to ask if we were going out Shopping etc I said no ive had three chest infections over the past two years and we were social distancing so not meeting anyone or mixing with anyone.

They went as far as to say they had Eid money for the children which I didn’t give a respond. I think they got the message. I did videocall everyone for Eid and I noticied only that Particular friend had friends over for Eid lol. Everyone else continued with self isolating.

Each to their own I say. If me or my kids got sick no one would be able to help anyway so the risk wasn’t worth it.
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#11 [Permalink] Posted on 26th May 2020 23:10
Next time an unwanted guest comes around, start coughing, gasping for breath and tell them you've not been feeling too well. Hopefully, they will leave on their own accord and no one is upset or offended.
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#12 [Permalink] Posted on 27th May 2020 00:13
Intrepid wrote:
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No. Politely apologise, but firmly tell them it's not a good time and ask them to leave.
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#13 [Permalink] Posted on 27th May 2020 09:10
xs11ax wrote:
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Famous quote:
Itna meetha na bano ke log hazam Kar jayein. Itna Kadwa na bano ke log thhook dein.

Be moderate.
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#14 [Permalink] Posted on 27th May 2020 10:52
ssaad wrote:
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Imam Shafi' spoke Urdu? :/
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#15 [Permalink] Posted on 27th May 2020 15:04
ssaad wrote:
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"Don't be so sweet that people swallow you up, nor so bitter that they spit you out."
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