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Marriage, engagements, rukhsati

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kanzoorbhai
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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 12:27
We are experiencing it, Engagements and long waiting period for marriage is turning into a fitnah now a days. Either the girl or boy is at receiving end. Sometimes Zulm.

Couldn't understand the logic behind Engagement. The best practice would be, when boy and girl families agree, the next earliest Majlis we can arrange for Nikah. Then we can have rukhsati after a month or two. This practice is started by local scholars.
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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 12:33
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Salaam

How old are you? Are you married?
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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 12:34
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Prof Maripat sab calls me "Saad Miyan"
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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 12:41
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?
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#5 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 14:39
Yeah, I am struggling with this. Most girls want a courtship (i.e. dating period), then a formal engagement, then the nikah and wedding way after that. Basically they want a year long relationship to build up before the nikah.

The couples who do this often fall into full zina sooner or later. And then some of them even break up anyways.

Waste of time, energy, and sin.

One brother told me to do it anyway and just ask the girl to do secret nikah in the beginning so technically whatever you do won't be zina. And if you break up, just give her talaq. Allahu a'lam, it's so shady though.
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#6 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 14:56
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SubhanAllah! What a stupid idea.

Just cry brother. Allah Ta'ala will in Sha Allah give you Pious and beautiful wives.

I went through a very long ordeal during my marriage. But Allhumdulillah it worked out in the end.

But you have to beg Allah Ta'ala. Cry and do 1000x Istighfar daily with concentration.

Stay true to your Usool and be forthcoming about your conditions with who ever comes in front. Women become rebellious after marriage.
I'll give you an example.

When I was getting married I made sure they knew the following:

-Proper Shari Purdah (that includes not speaking to any uncle's or male cousins)
-No working outside the home.
-No social media at all.

The mistake I made was the whole no what's app groups. So many people used to send so much garbage. But Allhumdulillah it got better but it took time.
But women in general stay loyal to what ever is said before the marriage, after marriage good luck.
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#7 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 15:07
Just be adamant and Allah Ta'ala's aid will come. Don't become despondent.
Also do Istighfar and Taubah daily. A wife is a man's respect. In Sha Allah you will be granted the coolness of your eyes.

I ran all my risthas by Moulana Ahmed Sadiq (May Allah Ta'ala prolong his shadow over us). He gave me so much encouragement through his words. I can't begin to explain. If I were to show you some emails you would tear up.
Again with emphasis beg your creator, He Subhanhu Ta'ala will create the circumstances for you to get a spouse who will aid you in protecting your Deen and in Sha Allah give this Ummah Auliya Allah. It took me about 2 years of searching.

May Allah Ta'ala grant you a Pious and beautiful spouse.
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#8 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 15:14
Today the purpose of marriage is different from the past. Hence the dynamics of marriage has changed.
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#9 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 17:45
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Women become rebellious after marriage.

Women become rebellious when men are rebellious to Allah ta'ala. If a person does not disobey Allah ta’ala, then people over whom he has authority won't disobey him.
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#10 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 19:16
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Very valid point.

A Buzurg mentions that when I would commit a wrong, I would find my riding beast to be rebellious.

This is also a mercy of Allah Ta'ala.
May Allah Ta'ala give us the ability to understand this.
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#11 [Permalink] Posted on 26th May 2020 03:42
Insha Allah I m going to marry in this lockdown period,

Max guests will be less than 50 persons

Here in Deccan India, there are no mixed gatherings unlike rest of India,

There is always partition between men and women,
Even our old age women wear black burka.

On the day of marriage couple don't sit together on stage,
Thanks to our elders.

And this lockdown period making every one to follow sunnah, no marriage halls, no late night parties, no lavish foods
No photography. Alhamdullilah.


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#12 [Permalink] Posted on 26th May 2020 08:39
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MASHA ALLAH, May Allah make it easy for you.

Jo koyee kisi amal khair ko shuru karta hai woh baad mein uski itteba mein karne waloen ka ajr bhi paata hai.
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