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A new personalilty

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#16 [Permalink] Posted on 2nd July 2019 11:18
Muslimah S wrote:
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I had given this post some thought before replying as I knew I'd seen this before.

Then I recalled my change :)

I was where you were and know what you mean. But don't let those whispers bring you down. Pray for yourself and pray for those close to you and pray for everyone else too.

I wasn't fully practicing in my younger days, yet I wasn't sinning in bulk either. I would do things everyone else considred to be normal, which in fact was living in sin of some kind.

I used to be called out to go in Tabligh Jamaat for many years and I always said "InshaAllah" and got away with it, i.e. I didn't go.

Then one day I went to my local Markaz and then started going regularly and eventually found myself in Jamaat.

Then one night (last few nights of Ramadhan) I was in Jamaat for the first time, Alhumdulillah.

I knew I wanted to change, I knew I had to change, I knew I had to give up on the many things I loved doing.

Since I knew what I wanted, I chased it!

I gave up those silly sins that is the norm. I started giving up on those small things that were affecting me without even knowing it. I gave up listening to rubbish, I gave up my artistry, I got rid of all my collections of anything Haram. I went all the way.

I stopped getting angry, I started getting patient.

I recall the first sign of my patience and still remember when my younger sister spilt cooking oil on my new clothes and in my hair - I didn't get angry, I smiled it away. That was when my family saw a change in me.

I started to grow my beard, I started to dress in traditional clothing. In fact I started wearing my traditional clothing to University (a major change for me and my classmates and well accepted) (Not forgetting I am in London, UK)

My attitude changed. Those around me saw the change and didn't think it would stay - Alhumdulillah they were wrong and InshaAllah they will remain wrong and change for the better too.

This makes my confidence go down. Don't let it deceive you.
Before that, few years ago. I was confident enough, no one could talk to me. I was not popular in school but when I got to college, I made sure that changed. I let my otherself out, i.e. I would show off my skills in fighting (I knew I didn't want to have the same rubbish I had in school - so I let my skills out in the open and gained much respect)
Now i have reached to a point where i am busy with myself and i feel not confident. Will it be settled?
I eventually gave everything up, even my martial arts, although that kind of sticks with you just in case :)
I felt alone. I would sit in my bedroom for hours and hours and just read my books and listen to Audio tapes etc. I stayed away from the sins in the house and I knew I was being talked about. I did feel like just being with everyone again, but that would mean being sinful again and knowing the punishments that were waiting to come to me.

I would get whispers about the negatives of having a beard and wearing the Sunnah clothing and so on, but at the same time I would learn more of the benefits and rewards of doing what I was doing and then I would fight off those thoughts. My beard got longer instead of shorter, stylish "fake" beard.

I saw people that I wanted to be like and when I would hear their stories I would say to myself that I will be there in 5 years time :)

If it took them 5 - 10 years since their change, I can be there too.

Now I look back after over 20 years and I say Alhumdulillah, I am there, I passed some of them, I need to find higher goals so I can surpass those too. But I know that there will be many hurdles on the way. Those hurdles can come in the form of whispers from Man and Shaitan (Hence we ask Allah to protect us from those whispers - see here) They can be in the form of friends and family. They can be in the form of our Ego, in the form of envy, hasad and so on. But most important of all was not to give up.

I have seen some who gave up and it scares me :(

I have seen those whom I look up to and now they have let go and walked away from helping others (Selfish? Ego? Competition? maybe!)

Even members here past, present and silent readers, dual account holders, fake account holders... - they give up or let go just because of others misunderstanding. (Yes - I'm talking about you too. I know you log on everyday. I know you read my posts. All I want is for you all to be here to help in such situations where others can take the positives you can give them and forget about those tiny episodes, else I will hold you accountable for not being here when you were needed :))
And i will regain my confidence inshaAllah?InshaAllah!

Shaitan will not work on those who are already sinning. Why would he waste his time there?

His target are those who work for change.

Also, don't forget, Shaitan will not work to make you do Haram. He will distract you away from those actions that bring you closer to Allah and eventually that distraction will lead us to letting go of what is right and then get involved in sin again.

Allah will only test you as much as you can take, so be your best and fight to win!

Keep the Sunnah Alive in everything and inshaAllah all the positives will bear its fruits.


Remember the Prophet (saw) was once called the best of names by everyone around him. The moment he spoke the truth, he was called the worst of names. But the truth hurts as they say, so let it hurt "them" not us!
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#17 [Permalink] Posted on 5th July 2019 18:23
sipraomer wrote:
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Thanks for clarifying your thought. I got that in other way, like if you’re against science and technology. It makes much sense now. I hope this kind of Change comes into lives if not at least in mindsets of us all.
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#18 [Permalink] Posted on 5th July 2019 18:31
sipraomer wrote:
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That’s right. Brother plz can you say further about it. I had same thought in mind.

Like if there is a person with good and pure heart with good Akhlak. But he Stops doing good, lets say for 10 years continually. (With intentions of doing good in future) And keep on doing bad deeds instead. After that if he wants to Switched off again to his born nature.

Will his heart and feelings be the Same? Or they will get disoriented after all these years? The bad side engulfs the goodness inside with time? Or it doesn’t effect the heart unless you had bad intentions? I hope you get my point. Thank you
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#19 [Permalink] Posted on 5th July 2019 18:47
abu mohammed wrote:
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JazakAllah khair brother for you time and giving me reply in this much detail. Alhamdulillah i am much motivated. Still

I feel sad as i felt as if i am cheating on myself. I want to clear one thing

I am not hijabi. Nor i am taking big steps. Nor i am against my family (where i need to be)

I have only started Saying Salah and daily Azkar (which are very limited) listening to Quran sometime. I try not to lie. And stopped listening to music and movies. Alhamdulillah.

Thats all deeds that i am much thankful to Allah as i was not practicing like that before Alhamdulillah.

My question was more about changing personally like. When you destroy some building and you start rebuilding it. Meanwhile you look around and see buildings standing years ago besides you. You feel you are far behind or have failed or very late in establishing your Life. Whereas people are running forward with success in Dunia n Aakhirah with all strength. I feel discomfort and upset to see people leading me. I was asking about that confidence.

Yet you said about HUGE steps that you have taken. MashaAllah your level of Iman worth much praise. I can never compare mine with it. My posts or reading is conveying other image of mine, which i am not. I am very hard at heart and i never said Labaik on any teachings on the spot rather i delayed them.... anyways thanks again for sharing i am much motivated now, if i cant take big steps i can take small at least inshaAllah.

P.s. I didn’t get whom you were talking to? You said “yes you’re reading my all posts” etc
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#20 [Permalink] Posted on 5th July 2019 19:28
Sister, change can happen over night but this is rare and I don't know anyone like that. If my posts suggests that then that's not true.

One Tablighi brother once told me that life is like a staircase not an escalator.

In other words, many of us are fortunate to be born into Muslim families and we treat it like an escalator, we got on the first step and expect to reach the top automatically.

The reality is that we need to take each step ourselves and ultimately reach the top!

Also, always be thankful to Allah in your ups and especially your downs. Be grateful that it wasn't worse.

Constantly make istighfaar for your past and for now. Do it sincerely and watch how Allah opens these shut doors for you. Have the right intention.

The things you say you don't do, try and adopt them slowly but surely.

Don't make the mistake that others make. They say that if they change, people will start to talk, so they don't practice it. Others say that their heart is pure, so people shouldn't question their Imaan if they don't have a beard or wear the hijab (nonsense)

If a building is destroyed and the owner starts to rebuild it, what is the purpose?

The purpose is to build it stronger, better, maybe bigger and bigger than the others and with all the latest up to date requirements. New certified electrics, gas, water, latest security/CCTV/alarm system (a strong visible deterrent) and communications facilities.

But this building isn't made over nite! It takes time, sometimes months and years go by and it's still in the process of being built.

Some buildings start demolition work later yet they finish the building earlier and just maintain it whilst the other is still being built. This could be down to budget.

How much money the owner puts towards it, the quicker it will complete and the better the result will be.

Some people have the money, so they build really really high buildings with the latest everything in it even though there is one identical to it next-door. You ask them why they built it knowing that there is one next door which is empty. Their response is that they want to out do them and go higher!

So here, the intention is all wrong.

A new building with nothing in it is useless
An old building with the basics in it is okay but can crumble one day.
But an old building with a good foundation and maintenance can go on for much longer, all it needs is a touch up and decoration once in a while. Make sure the supply of water, gas and electrics is always there and the bills are always paid for when due.

So choose which building you are, or which building you want to be and make sure your intention is correct and modernise it inside out. Redecorate. Give it a new look, a new feel. Let the old out and bring the new in.

Once you understand that concept above, replace the maintenance, decoration, water, gas, electrics, communications etc with the Quran, Sunnah, Dhikr, Dua Fasting, Charity and if possible Hajj!

If you walk to Allah, Allah will run to you but you need to take that first step and keep walking.

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P.s. I didn’t get whom you were talking to? You said “yes you’re reading my all posts” etc

Don't worry, they know :)
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#21 [Permalink] Posted on 6th July 2019 12:37
Muslimah S wrote:
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Assalamu alaikum

It is alhamdulillah a blessing of Allah that He guided you to the right path. Now you should not worry about the past so much, you should just ask forgiveness for your previous sins, show gratitude to Allah for the guidance and focus on doing good deeds. There were Sahaba رضي الله عنهم who in their jahiliyah days opposed Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم and were involved in conspiracies against Islam. Sayyidina Umer رضي الله عنه came out one day with the intention to kill Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, Khalid bin Waleed رضي الله عنه spent his life in fighting against Muslims, however when they became Muslim they repented from their sins and they started focusing on pleasing Allah and His Rasool صلى الله عليه وسلم. They did not become depressed that their past is empty. They were also beginners but that did not make them lose confidence. They would spend their energies on positive things and you too should do the same. We all have gone through some sort of jahiliyah phase in our lives. Nobody is born a saint, except a few. So we should have faith in Allah's mercy, He forgives all sins. When he can forgive the person who had committed 100 murders, why can't He forgive you? You were not that bad alhamdulillah.

If you think people around you have "strengthened roots" and that they've always been pious then that's not true and you should not even compare yourself to people around you. You should only compare your present self to your past self and say alhamdulillah if you've improved.

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My question was more about changing personally like. When you destroy some building and you start rebuilding it. Meanwhile you look around and see buildings standing years ago besides you. You feel you are far behind or have failed or very late in establishing your Life. Whereas people are running forward with success in Dunia n Aakhirah with all strength. I feel discomfort and upset to see people leading me. I was asking about that confidence.


Again I'll repeat you should never compare yourself to others. We all have gone through different tests and circumstances, our lives are different and Allah ta'ala will judge us based on that. It's not about how long we have taken to come back to Allah ta'ala. Main thing is we returned to Him while being alive. You're never "late" as long as you're breathing. Also it is not the number of deeds that pleases Allah, He becomes pleased with the smallest of deeds done with ikhlas. He forgave a prostitute for showing kindness to dog. So we should never underestimate even a small good deed and at the same time we should also not rely on our deeds.

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Yet you said about HUGE steps that you have taken. MashaAllah your level of Iman worth much praise. I can never compare mine with it.


The distance that develops between us and Allah is covered in small steps. You can't reach the top in one go and as long as you are on the right path and making progress, you're successful. The most important thing is that when death comes to us, we are on the right path striving to reach Allah and it does not matter at what step we are when we're granted death.

Also women should be grateful that Allah ta'ala has made it so easy for us as Rasulullah صلی الله عليه وسلم said:

“If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 4252

So stop worrying, you only have to focus on these few amaal and you'll enter paradise inshaAllah. You don't have to perform hundreds of rakat nafil or thousands of adhkar to become successful. By Allah if you avoid sins and become steadfast on these four actions you'll become a friend of Allah.
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#22 [Permalink] Posted on 6th July 2019 19:38
bint e aisha wrote:
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Walekom Asalaam

JazakAllah khair dear sister.

Sister after i read ur comment. I was thinking and Alhamdulillah i found out that i am attacked by soo much whispers, so much so that I believed them a Part of my own nafs. I felt they are the voice of my evil nafs God forbid. Now I think these are whispers and I will try not to focus them or get worried with them inshaAllah.

Sister one other thing more could you clarify?

I wont be comparing myself to others but how can i get relax with this very thought?

— years back i got hidayah but i Neglected and delayed coz of my own nafs, (that time at uni i went through a verse which explains, Allah wanted to elevate them but they prefer throwing down themselves. I was scared with that but I then thought i am not bad)

This time, I was happy that i did thouba and now i am better than earlier Alhamdulillah.. but now the Thought Haunts me that Allah gave me opportunity Long ago but I didn’t avail otherwise Now i would be standing somewhere else having no regrets in Life. My ego and pride didn’t allow me to worship Allah. I did zulm on myself.

When a person does thouba or kafir say Kalma in jahileya, they are not aware of their sins, they are more like innocents. I WAS aware of them yet I delayed—

This thought makes me roaming around my past.

JazakAllah khair sis for ur help
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#23 [Permalink] Posted on 6th July 2019 21:55
Muslimah S wrote:
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Allah ta'ala says:

إن الحسنات يذهبن السيئات
"Surely, good deeds erase bad deeds."

Whenever you get these thoughts about your past, do a good deed. Praise Allah, do istighfar, recite the Qur'an, read Salah, serve your parents, your husband, there are hundreds of things you can do. Even smiling and meeting someone cheerfully is a good deed and Allah ta'ala is constantly erasing your sins because of these good deeds. Just try to divert yourself from these negative thoughts and do something positive that will benefit you in akhirah (inshaAllah).
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#24 [Permalink] Posted on 7th July 2019 08:38
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#25 [Permalink] Posted on 7th July 2019 17:05
bint e aisha wrote:
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Thanks sis

InshaAllah.. thats very comforting to think about erasing bad deeds. I am sure the Good that we do when it erases past deeds, it still retains full reward abd recorded in our deeds booklet?
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#26 [Permalink] Posted on 7th July 2019 17:07
abu mohammed wrote:
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JazakAllah khair for this reminder.
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#27 [Permalink] Posted on 7th July 2019 17:08
Muslimah S wrote:
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Yes of course Allah ta'ala is generous. The reward for your good deeds will not be deducted and inshaAllah your sins will be erased since you've also repented. :)
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#28 [Permalink] Posted on 7th July 2019 17:16
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Aww Thaank you so much. :) Indeed Allah is generous enough Alhamdulillah JazakAllah khair dear
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#29 [Permalink] Posted on 8th July 2019 13:11
Muslimah S wrote:
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Just remember one thing. You can always do a U turn to sins and do Tawbah and Allah is always there waiting for us with open arms. He is warm and He loves us so much that we can't even imagine.

No one is perfect. Just keep on striving. The last moment of our life is the most important moment. Just focus on that moment. Since, we don't know the time of our death. Therefore, consider that moment to be this very passing moment. So, always keep a watch. Busy yourself in good deeds. And hope for the best. Allah only demands fear, love and devotion from us. Nothing else.
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#30 [Permalink] Posted on 8th July 2019 13:42
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There are more than 5 billion or so kuffar in this world. And you being a Muslimah are the lucky one to be from the righteous minority. You have repented and started your journey to haqq. So now you are from the minority of a minority. You have started practicing. It doesn't matter where are you at this time. You have improved. That's enough to thank Allah. Cherish your change even if you think it's little. Trust me it's huge. Leaving music and movies is not that easy. These things are very attractive and satanic. You have left them. That's a major step. Don't under-estimate your self. And don't over-estimate as well. Just keep on practicing and keep on making dua for yourself and for others. Remember that there are 5 billion or more than 5 kuffar and the majority of muslimeen is non practicing. You are among the few. Just be happy and thankful for this.

From year 2011 till 2017, satan has been whispering in my ears occasionally that "Omer! You are committing this Kabira sin which will eventually lead you to Jahannum. So why this Salah and dhikr and quran. If you are going to end up in Jahannum any way then what's the point. I didn't listen to him and thought that I will not leave salah even if I am sinning. Fast forward to my four months tabligh journey during which I left that sin. I thanked Allah, that I didn't listen to shaitan."

So satan will discourage you. Just don't bother his whisper. Create a strong protective spiritual field around yourself through punctual salah, dhikr and recitation of quran. As you will progress, satan will become weaker and weaker and weaker till his whispering will not remain any more but just a tiny ant like funny voice with not much effect. He is afraid of the golden heart which says Allah's name day and night. Trust me. He is not powerful. Don't give him your precious time and thought. He doesn't deserve it.
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