Futile, Comparisons!
Shaykh Saleem al Ashkabadi, came across a man who was scolding his son for getting bad results in School.
The man was admonishing his son by saying; " look at you! do you feel no shame, your Cousin who is younger than you has managed to pass with distinction. Our neighbours son has also managed to get high marks. Those boys will amount to something, but you will achieve nothing, you are completely hopeless."
Shaykh Saleem, took the Man aside and said: " Oh Foolish one, you're destroying this boys confidence, and crushing his spirit with your style of admonishment. Every one of us has unique talents skills and abilities. Do not compare him to others for that will ruin his self esteem. Give him some gentle support and encouragement, help him fulfill his Potential do not destroy it."
The Man Responded; " What I spoke Was the Truth, he is completely useless."
Shaykh Saleem, replied; " Now tell me something if your wife told you that you was useless and you would amount to nothing. If she told you that her Cousins husband was a better man.Or the neighbour treated his wife better. Whilst you was a complete wastrel, how would that make you feel? Would you be motivated, to treat your Wife better?"
The Man responded; " Of course not."
" So what makes you think your son will perform better in School when you belittle him and compare him to others?"; asked the Shaykh.
The Man realising his mistake said; " Shaykh , now that you explained it like that it makes sense. Yes you are right such admonishments from me are not going to help him improve his performance in school."
Something to Ponder;
How often we look at the faults of our nearest and dearest and compare them,
to others. Be It our Spouses or Children etc. Often you find parents Comparing one of their Children with another. " Look at Your Brother" etc.
Sometimes we compare ourselves with others look at their accomplishments and feel depressed that we have achieved very little in Comparison.In the process all we do is ruin our own self confidence, and self esteem.
Perhaps it would better if we focused on the fact that Allah has made each and everyone one of us with unique abilities and talents and cherish those. Our wife/husband may have faults but they will still have great qualities. Our Children likewise. we ourselves have unique qualities that Allah has blessed us with.
All Praise Is For Allah for all the blessing he has bestowed upon us and May he give us all the Tawfiq to be grateful and appreciate them Ameen.
by Julaybib
