Carry me in your Arms......

WhenI got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand andsaid, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to say it. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words,instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made herangry. She shouted at me, " you are not a man!"
Thatnight, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wantedto find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly giveher a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl calledDew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorceagreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of mycompany and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. Thewoman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become astranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but Icould not take back what I had said, for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finallyshe cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
Thenext day, I came back home very late and found her writing something atthe table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fellfast asleep because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When Iwoke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did'nt careso I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.She requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live asnormal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had hisexams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with ourbroken marriage.
Thiswas agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recallhow I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. Sherequested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of ourbedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she has, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorceintention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on thefirst day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy isholding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. Fromthe bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over tenmeters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don'ttell our son about the divorce. Inodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. Shewent to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
Onthe second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that Ihadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized shewas not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hairwas graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute Iwondered what I had done to her.
Onthe fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacyreturning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life tome. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacywas growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier tocarry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made mestronger.
Shewas choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dressesbut could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses havegrown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that wasthe reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, ..she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
SubconsciouslyI reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment andsaid, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his fathercarrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. Mywife gestured to our son to come close and hugged him tightly. I turnedmy face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this lastminute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, throughthe sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softlyand naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our weddingday.
Buther much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held herin my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. Iheld her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lackedintimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly withoutlocking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change mymind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her,Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
Shelooked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have afever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, Iwon't divorce. My marriage life wasboring probably because she and I didn't value the details of ourlives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realizedthat since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposedto hold her until one of us departs this world.
Dewseemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammedthe door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. Atthe floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:I ll carry you out every morning until we are old.
Thesmall details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. Itis not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance thatmatters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannotgive happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friendand do those little things for each other that build a relationship.