Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said that if he had to orderany person to prostrate (make sajdah) for another person, and if thiswas permissible, he would have commanded the wife to make sajdah to herhusband.
This o�ne Hadith is more than adequate to show the high rank whichthe husband has over his wife. Besides this Hadith, there are numerousother Ahadith as well as Qur'aanic aayaat which declare the higher rankof the husband with emphasis and clarity.
MARRIAGES
In this age of western liberalism which has been adopted byMuslims, the very same evil trend of marriages collapsing and ending indivorce for sport and fun, has overtaken the Muslim community. Nolonger is Nikah and the home regarded as the holy institutions whichIslam has ordained. In addition to the evil of western liberalismanother factor which is increasingly contributing to the break down inmarriages is the misconception of their rights which girls gain fromgirls madrasahs.
RIGHTS
They emerge from the madrasahs having understood o�nly that theyhave rights - that the Shariah has given them Waajib rights - that itis not necessary for them to do domestic chores - that instead of thembeing servants in the marital home, o�n the contrary, their husbandsshould be their servants. While they learn about their right of aseparate home, away from their in-laws, they are not taught thatRasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) warned: "Woman! Your husband iseither your Jannat or your Jahannam."
While they emerge from the madrasah with the idea firmly embeddedin their minds that they are not obliged to render any service to theirmothers-in-law, they are not taught that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhiwasallam) warned:
"Neither the Fardh nor Nafl Salaat (nor any act of ibaadat) is accepted of the wife who has displeased her husband."
Girls who marry in this age are obsessed with their rights. Theyenter into marriage with the idea of severing the holy relationshipwhich their husbands have with their parents and family members. Fromthe very first day a young wife arrives at her husband's home, sheinitiates her scheme of achieving separation from her in-laws. In theprocess of conniving to be separated from her parents-in-law, shecreates many upheavals in the home, leading to rupture in relationshipsand misery. Even if she ultimately succeeds in her scheme, she departsfrom the home of the in-laws leaving behind a legacy of bitterness,enmity and misery.
TALAAQ
In many cases the marriage simply ends in Talaaq. It is imperativethat the seniors of the young girls explain to them what exactly Nikahand making a home are. Some girls enter into Nikah understanding thatit is freedom from parental control and freedom to wander around. Whenthey realise that they have simply passed from o�ne control to anothercontrol, they become rebellious and the worst of nafsaaniyat surfacesto ruin the marriage.
AKHLAAQ
It is essential that young wives and prospective wives understandthat marriage is a holy bond. A happy marriage is not based o�ndemanding rights. Happiness in a marriage is the product ofunderstanding, patience, toleration, refraining from demanding rights,service to in-laws and total obedience to the husband. Without displayof good conduct, happiness in marriage is not possible.
HOME
The young wife should understand that o�nce she has married, hernew and permanent home is the home her husband places her in, whetherit is a separate house or the home of his parents. His parents are nowher parents. Her parents have become strangers to her. The home of herparents is no longer her home. She cannot hope to gain happiness bykeeping o�ne leg in the home of her parents and o�ne leg in her maritalhome.
HAPPINESS
She will not gain happiness if she gives preference to her familyover her husband's family. If her husband is disinclined towards herparents, brothers, etc., and for some reason, whether right or wrong,annoyed with them, his wife should not stand up in defence of them. Sheshould understand that she has to pass her life with her husband, notwith her parents or her brothers. Even if her husband unjustly speaksill of her parents and brothers, she should not display annoyance. Sheshould not pull up her face nor make any comment which will inflamehim. She should employ her intelligence, be it defective, and convey toher husband that she is o�n his side, not o�n the side of her family,because now her o�nly family is her husband's family. Allah Ta'ala willtake her husband to task for his injustices. It is not her concern. Herconcern is to serve her husband, keep him happy and please him in alllawful things.
ALLAH'S COMMAND
It is Allah and it is His Rasool (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) whohave commanded that the wife submits fully to her husband and keeps himhappy. Her happiness (her Jannat) is inextricably interwoven with hispleasure. By serving his parents, she serves her husband. And, thissacred serfdom should be her honour. She should not view marriage, homeand husband through the coloured glasses of the immoral libertine cultof westernism which has overrun even Muslim society in this age.
DIVINE PLEASURE
In serving her parents-in-law, she is not lowering her dignity inany way. She gains tremendous thawaab thereby. Such service is basedo�n the bond she has with her husband. Such service cultivates herhusband's pleasure which in turn brings for her the wonderful Ni'mat ofAllah's Pleasure. She will gain more Divine Pleasure and thawaab out ofservice to her in-laws than from Nafl acts of ibaadat. o�n thecontrary, Allah's Pleasure is denied to her if she displeases herparents-in-law because such displeasure leads to the displeasure of herhusband, and his displeasure brings about Allah's Displeasure. In thewake of Allah's Displeasure come His Ghadhab (Wrath) and La'nat(Curse).
INGRATITUDE
The attitude which is common to almost all wives is theiringratitude to their husbands. It is o�n account of this evil attitudethat Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said that most inmates ofJahannum will be women. Wives should heed this warning of Nabi-e-Kareem(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) and struggle against the nafs when thisvile emotional urge develops.
MASTER
If the wife o�nly utilizes a bit of intelligence and keeps herin-laws happy by serving them and tolerating their indiscretion andeven injustices, she will ultimately become their master. In fact, shewill become the master of even her husband. The magnanimity of herheart will win them all over. They will then adore her and serve her.Allah's aid and special rahmat will be with her. The hearts of peopleare in His control. If the wife submits to her husband and his whimsand fancies, for the Sake of Allah's Pleasure and in obedience to thenumerous advices and exhortations of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhiwasallam), she will attain happiness and Jannat in this world.
If she desires the rewards of Jihaad and the ranks of Shahaadat(Martyrdom), she has to wage jihaad against her nafs in the struggle togain her husband's pleasure which is the most important and the o�nlybridge for her to gain Divine Pleasure.
ADMONITION FOR HUSBANDS
The Naseehat offered o�n this page to wives is not a licence forhusbands to commit zulm (injustice). In so far as husbands areconcerned, there is a host of warnings, admonition and exhortations inthe Qur'aan and Hadith which they have to observe in order to gainAllah's Pleasure and to be saved from His Wrath for any injusticeswhich they may commit against their wives.
Husbands should remember that violation of the huqooq of theirwives is a major sin and the consequences of this will not be escapedin Qiyaamah. While wives should not be concerned with the errors andfaults of their husbands, the latter should not focus their gazes o�nthe wife's subservience commanded for husbands by the Shariah.
Both husband and wife should look to the Shariah and see what theQur'aan and Sunnah expect of them. This is the prescription forhappiness o�n earth, Divine Pleasure and happiness in the Aakhirah.
This cannot be undone and I am sure it will be greatly appreciated.
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