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20th June 2010

Sisters, we all know that women are said to be always complaining, never satisfied with anything and never being appreciative. Perhaps we should ask ourselves why we are labelled as “complaining ungrateful women”? They say that there is no smoke without fire, so perhaps there is a grain of truth in this statement.

Everyone knows the story of the very pious saint who was seen flying by everyone including his wife, who thought it was some pious Shaykh (not realising that it was her own husband). When told it was none other than her husband she refused to accept it. When everyone insisted, she finally accepted that it could have been him since the man flying was not a good flyer and his legs had been crooked!

One may wonder how true this story is. However, whether true or false, one may well ask if women deserve this label. I can imagine you sisters getting up in arms at my audacity and impudence, but let's be honest and search deep within ourselves. Let’s admit that perhaps we do complain about our men folk just a teensy weensy bit?

If so Sisters, we can rise above it for the Pleasure of Allah. Let’s show them that we can overlook their coming home in the evenings with a frown, when what we could have done with was a loving, sympathetic smile after having put up all day with tantrum throwing teenagers, screaming six year olds and burpy babies. Let’s show them that we can be patient when they answer in monosyllables when all we want to do is to pour our hearts out to them. And let’s avoid sulking, when after having slogged over a hot stove for hours to prepare his meal, he says, “It’s not like my mother’s”. Let’s not forget Sisters, that they too have had a hard day trying to earn a living to make life easier for us. It’s not easy out there you know.

“Who is asking for luxuries?” I hear you say. Come on Sisters, let alone the luxuries, even bare necessities don’t come cheap nowadays, and as for those sisters who expect new clothes at every occasion with perfectly matching shoes and scarves, and fancy house decor, well, need I say more? And what about the bills, especially the phone bill? We use the phone to complain to each other about this that and the other and it gets us nowhere. So Sisters, lets avoid getting connected with every Sister ‘Ã’ishah, Fãtimah and Maryam. Instead let’s get connected with Allah ta‘ãlã and let’s put our complains to Him since it is He Alone Who will hear us. No matter what the need, instead of complaining to each other, let’s plead instead to Him Who is the most Powerful and in Whose Hands are the hearts of all men.

As for every brother Ibrãheem, Ismã‘eel and Saleem, who are at this very minute sitting back with a self satisfied smile, they should perhaps contemplate upon the story about the very pious saint, who was forgiven only on account of swallowing his anger along with his food when his wife once forgot to add salt to it. Contemplate also on the words of our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam,

“...The best among you are those among you who are the best to their wives.” (Tirmizi)

©Islāmic Da‘wah Academy (Da‘wah Series 35)

posted by ummi taalib on 20th June 2010 - 0 comments


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