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Elements of Nikah

14th August 2013
Allah Ta’ala has made nikah itself such that it increases love between two individuals.

Ibn Abbas RA narrates that Rasulullah Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam has said:

“We have not seen anything that creates love between two individuals such as nikah.” (Ibn Majha)

There are many ways of increasing love between a couple. Consider the following ten points to maintain a happy marriage and control the instinct of dispute.

1. Fear Allah. It was the noble practice of Nabi Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam to make the spouses aware of the fear of Allah before performing a nikah by reciting the verses (al-Nisa 14, al-Ahzab 69, Aali-Imraan 101) from the Qur’an. All the verses are common in the message of taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

2. Never be angry at the same time. Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam and sought some advice. Rasulullah Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam replied:

"Control your anger.” The same advice was rendered three times." (Mishkat p. 433; H.M. Saeed)

3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other. Nabi Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam said:

"Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the center of Jannah." (Mishkat p. 412)

4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire. Luqman AS while offering advice to his son said:

"And lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of an donkey.” (Surah Luqman 19)

5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly. Rasulullah Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam said:

"Mu’min is a mirror for a Mu’min.” (Abu Dawood 2/325 Imdadiya) Advice with dignity and silently.

6. Never bring up mistakes of the past. Nabi Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam said:

"Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyamah.” (Mishkat p. 429)

7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner. Nabi Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam confirmed the advice of Salman RA to Abu Darda RA for neglecting his wife:

Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai 2391)

8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled.

bu Bakr RA resolved his dispute with his wife over feeding the guest before going to bed. (Bukhari 602)

9. At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner. Nabi Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam said:

Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.” (Abu Dawud p. 662; Karachi)

10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness. Nabi Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam said:

All the sons of Adam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.” (Tirmidhi 2499)
posted by Taalibah on 14th August 2013 - 1 comment


Zak wrote on 14 Aug 2013
Jazakallah, good stuff.

We Pray to Allah that he grants us the ability to live and let live, to love and to let love.

May he grant us all Barakah in our marriages, ameen.
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