Fixing your life when you hit rock bottom

Asslamo Allaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

Recently received an email from a Sister from Pakistan on the website about her life being in tatters and she needed to build herself backup.

I referred her to Mashaykh in Pakistan but these requests are frequent and the frequency of these incidents is indeed alarming.

This is a common occurrence amongst Non-Muslims but unfortunately due to gradual weakening of Eemaan and slackening of Islamic practises the spiritual (abyss) seems bottomless at time even for Muslims.

If you read the achievements of Non-Muslims, guidance from experts and plethora of self-help guides there is a lot of emphasis on “processes” but little on Islamic spirituality. This shouldn’t be surprising since Western Academia historically gave little importance to spirituality and whereas the balance is tilting it is mostly on self-appeasing spirituality rather than a divinely guided religion such as Islam.

Changes on 2 fronts:

Contrarily, our Eemaan is upon Allah (SWT) and our Creator (SWT) and nothing can dig us out of our troubles except Allah (SWT). However any attempts to dig yourself when you have hit rock bottom must consist of:

1. Attempts at spiritual rejuvenation i.e. strengthening the bond and connection with Allah (SWT)
2. Attempts at physical change and rejuvenation

Neglecting either is a recipie for disaster!

[13:11] For every one (from among you) there are angels replacing one another, in front of him and behind him, who guard him under the command of Allah. Surely, Allah does not change the condition of a people unless they change themselves. When Allah intends evil for a people, there is no way to turn it back, and for them there is no patron other than Him.

Five (5) Daily Prayers:

Almost inevitably whenever people lose the way in their lives, it is accompanied by either slackening in daily prayers or losing of concentration and devotion in them.

No matter what state your physical life is in, this is your barometer for the state of your spirituality. FORCE YOURSELF to pray not only Fardh (obligatory prayers) but also the Sunnah prayers and observe the results (Insha'Allah) 1-2 weeks later.

Lack of Duas:

Almost inevitably whenever people lose the way in their lives, it is accompanied by weakening of Eemaan and connection with Allah (SWT). Focus is placed on processes and methods of this world and shifted from the Creator (SWT).

No matter what your thoughts and perceptions are set a time and FORCE YOURSELF to make dua (at least daily) and observe the results (Insha'Allah) 1-2 weeks later.

Dhik'r Tonic:

You need a powerful Tonic proven from the Authentic Sunnah  which will uplift your spirit instantly and something is accessible anywhere, anytime. The twin solution is:

1. Special Kalimat (known as 3rd Kalima amongst Indian/Pakistanees) سُبْحَان اللهِ وَ الْحَمْدُ لِلّهِ وَ لآ اِلهَ اِلّا اللّهُ وَ اللّهُ اَكْبَرُ وَلا حَوْلَ وَلاَ قُوَّة ِ الَّا بِاللّهِ الْعَلِىّ الْعَظِيْم
2. Salutations upon Nabi (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam)

FORCE YOURSELF to make these (at least daily) and observe the results (Insha'Allah) 1-2 weeks later.

Process Changes in your life:

I am going to deliberately keep it very simple:

1. You are Human and Allah (SWT) has declared you to be weak and likely to commit errors. So you have messed up, made mistakes and committed huge errors, so what? People may not forgive or forget but Your Creator (SWT) is the most Merciful of those who show Mercy!
2. Start something which is physical and physically taxing on your body whatever it may be in your situation and circumstances. It is perfectly permissible for a Sister in Niqab and Hijab to take walks, climb stairs (in her own house), wear ankle weights while doing household chores etc...anything which will tax your physical body.
3. Get into a routine! Random sleeping and waking times are an absolute abomination and won’t help you.
4. Find your coping mechanism! People will say things and issues will crop up which will annoy you and stress you out, find out your personal way of coping. Anything Halal will do! Remember that someone else’s method (no matter how grand, virtuous and conformant to Sunnah) may not be suited for you. If someone else copes by copious recitation of the Qur’aan your may be to take a walk outdoors. Remember! Anything Halal will do...
5. Set a mediocre goal and set about achieving it, something simple and non-taxing to begin with! Learning the pronunciation of Surah Al-Fatiha or translation andpratcing/ visualising it during your Salah or something even smaller
6. (When better) analyse a block of 7 days of your normal life and check:
   1. Take notes
   2. What made you happy and what made you sad?
   3. Why?
   4. What were the real issues? Were they really important or just appeared important at that time? How would you ideally solve them?

Jazakallahu Khayran