Fixing your life when you hit rock bottom

16th April 2014

Asslamo Allaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

Recently received an email from a Sister from Pakistan on the website about her life being in tatters and she needed to build herself backup.

I referred her to Mashaykh in Pakistan but these requests are frequent and the frequency of these incidents is indeed alarming.

This is a common occurrence amongst Non-Muslims but unfortunately due to gradual weakening of Eemaan and slackening of Islamic practises the spiritual (abyss) seems bottomless at time even for Muslims.

If you read the achievements of Non-Muslims, guidance from experts and plethora of self-help guides there is a lot of emphasis on “processes” but little on Islamic spirituality. This shouldn’t be surprising since Western Academia historically gave little importance to spirituality and whereas the balance is tilting it is mostly on self-appeasing spirituality rather than a divinely guided religion such as Islam.

Changes on 2 fronts:

Contrarily, our Eemaan is upon Allah (SWT) and our Creator (SWT) and nothing can dig us out of our troubles except Allah (SWT). However any attempts to dig yourself when you have hit rock bottom must consist of:

  1. Attempts at spiritual rejuvenation i.e. strengthening the bond and connection with Allah (SWT)
  2. Attempts at physical change and rejuvenation

Neglecting either is a recipie for disaster!

[13:11] For every one (from among you) there are angels replacing one another, in front of him and behind him, who guard him under the command of Allah. Surely, Allah does not change the condition of a people unless they change themselves. When Allah intends evil for a people, there is no way to turn it back, and for them there is no patron other than Him.

Five (5) Daily Prayers:

Almost inevitably whenever people lose the way in their lives, it is accompanied by either slackening in daily prayers or losing of concentration and devotion in them.

No matter what state your physical life is in, this is your barometer for the state of your spirituality. FORCE YOURSELF to pray not only Fardh (obligatory prayers) but also the Sunnah prayers and observe the results (Insha'Allah) 1-2 weeks later.

Lack of Duas:

Almost inevitably whenever people lose the way in their lives, it is accompanied by weakening of Eemaan and connection with Allah (SWT). Focus is placed on processes and methods of this world and shifted from the Creator (SWT).

No matter what your thoughts and perceptions are set a time and FORCE YOURSELF to make dua (at least daily) and observe the results (Insha'Allah) 1-2 weeks later.

Dhik'r Tonic:

You need a powerful Tonic proven from the Authentic Sunnah  which will uplift your spirit instantly and something is accessible anywhere, anytime. The twin solution is:

  1. Special Kalimat (known as 3rd Kalima amongst Indian/Pakistanees) سُبْحَان اللهِ وَ الْحَمْدُ لِلّهِ وَ لآ اِلهَ اِلّا اللّهُ وَ اللّهُ اَكْبَرُ وَلا حَوْلَ وَلاَ قُوَّة ِ الَّا بِاللّهِ الْعَلِىّ الْعَظِيْم
  2. Salutations upon Nabi (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam)

FORCE YOURSELF to make these (at least daily) and observe the results (Insha'Allah) 1-2 weeks later.

Process Changes in your life:

I am going to deliberately keep it very simple:

  1. You are Human and Allah (SWT) has declared you to be weak and likely to commit errors. So you have messed up, made mistakes and committed huge errors, so what? People may not forgive or forget but Your Creator (SWT) is the most Merciful of those who show Mercy!
  2. Start something which is physical and physically taxing on your body whatever it may be in your situation and circumstances. It is perfectly permissible for a Sister in Niqab and Hijab to take walks, climb stairs (in her own house), wear ankle weights while doing household chores etc...anything which will tax your physical body.
  3. Get into a routine! Random sleeping and waking times are an absolute abomination and won’t help you.
  4. Find your coping mechanism! People will say things and issues will crop up which will annoy you and stress you out, find out your personal way of coping. Anything Halal will do! Remember that someone else’s method (no matter how grand, virtuous and conformant to Sunnah) may not be suited for you. If someone else copes by copious recitation of the Qur’aan your may be to take a walk outdoors. Remember! Anything Halal will do...
  5. Set a mediocre goal and set about achieving it, something simple and non-taxing to begin with! Learning the pronunciation of Surah Al-Fatiha or translation andpratcing/ visualising it during your Salah or something even smaller
  6. (When better) analyse a block of 7 days of your normal life and check:
    1. Take notes
    2. What made you happy and what made you sad?
    3. Why?
    4. What were the real issues? Were they really important or just appeared important at that time? How would you ideally solve them?

Jazakallahu Khayran

Tags: islam
posted by Muadh_Khan on 16th April 2014 - 2 comments


taalibah wrote on 16 Apr 2014
Very interesting and practical blog, mashaAllah.
Allah increase you in knowledge. Aameen

Muhajir wrote on 20 Apr 2014

I pray all my five prayers and am doing constant dhikr but still my life is extremely messed up and I don't know why. I made iman, hijrah and jihad but wonder about when the help of Allah comes. I abandoned everything for Islam; my family, my friends, my job and while living amongst the Muslims I lost my remaining belongings, my computer, my books, my papers, etc. except for my clothes and some money in my pocket. Now I am stranded in a place where everybody talks about Islam and many claim to follow the sunnah and say "masha Allah, you're a convert, that means Allah loves you, masha Allah". But beyond that there is no help whatsoever. Nobody wants to help, nobody wants to shelter and support a muhajir and mujahid.

Where's the ummah? Where's the help of Allah for somebody who sacrificed EVERYTHING for HIM?! Now in my current situation I am forced to do a lot of haram and I have no choice but to do this in order to survive. I don't understand why Allah is humiliating me while others who are disbelievers or Muslims who have done nothing for Islam live the easy, halal life while me who lost everything in the way of Allah am now forced to live in haram!

I have so much hatred now for Muslims and all these scholars and preachers who just talk talk talk and don't do anything or they just help a specific group of Muslims but don't care about others. So they help some dark skinned Arabs or Asians because it's in vogue to pity dark skinned 3rd world Muslims but when it comes to stranded Muslims from the 1st world who are as much in need as them or even more then nobody cares and there is no comprehension!

Blogger's Reply:
Asslamo Allaikum...There are many important aspects of your situation which needs to be discussed. First and foremost in life you have to do things when you are mentally, physically and psychologically ready for the sacrifices otherwise you stay wherever your Eeemaan is safer. It appears that you have bitten more then what you could chew and it happens. The fundamental reality in life is that you should have learned to survive on your own and not rely on anyone because thats what life is about. Learn to survive and cope, you need an immediate plan, medium term plan and a long term plan and you need to think about that. Learn to rely upon Allah (SWT) and stand on your own two feet and don't expect any help from anyone unless and until you become mature and independent enough to think like that, the talks and words of no Scholar and no Shaykkh will help you.
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