27
Aug
2013

Emotional and physical relationship in Islam

27th August 2013

Asslamo Allaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

Disclaimer:  Please don’t read any further if you are minor or under the age of 13.

Jazakullah Khairun


I was travelling with some young Muslims on a plane and all of sudden during the long flight one of the recently married young brother started to ask about sexual intercourse and ashamedly admitted that he liked it. Others unmarried brothers around him perked up and wanted to hear the discussion and for the next half an hour or so I heard the most absurd things you could ever hear from grown up men, examples of what was said:

1.       Love is Haram

2.       Love is a disease and one needs to see a “traditional” Islamic Doctor for it

3.       You can’t really take a shower with your wife

4.       Sex should be “conducted” to fulfil the rights to the wife only

5.       Sex is not for enjoyment but for fulfilling your duties as a husband and that is way its full of reward

6.       Sex should be done as simply and in a straight forward manner as possible and no messing around!

I patiently listened to most of these and then asked as to where they had “gained their knowledge” and I was astonished to find the names of some very well known Mashaykh who have mentioned these things. Over the course of next few months I actually listened and read firsthand what is being said and the only thing which I can think of is perhaps due to cultural differences something is getting lost in translation.

An avid student of the History of Christianity can tell you that Christianity had an extremely unnatural attitude towards love and sex.

1.       On one extreme you had people who went to absolute lengths to shun the opposite sex

2.       On the other extreme you had people who crossed all limits for physical pleasure (be it with members of their sex or opposite)

First was the reaction of religious fanaticism and trying to get closer to God and the other was extreme rejection of everything godly.

Islam is the last divinely protected religion of Allah (SWT) and safe from any extremes. The only extremes which are “preached” are figments of people’s imaginations and it doesn’t matter who teaches and propagates these extreme messages it should be countered.

Barrier upon barrier and restriction upon restriction in Islam between members of opposite sexes:

Islamic Shariah places great importance on segregating and separating members of the opposite sexes who are eligible to marry each other.

Firstly, Islam commands women to remain indoors:

[33:33] Remain in your homes, and do not display (your) beauty as it used to be displayed in the days of earlier ignorance; and establish Salah, and pay Zakah, and obey Allah and His messenger. Allah only intends to keep (all sorts of) filth away from you, O members of the family (of the prophet), and to make you pure through a perfect purification.

Secondly, it commands Muslim women to cover themselves up properly and not invite unlawful gazes:

[33:59] O prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers that they should draw down their shawls over them. That will make it more likely that they are recognized, hence not teased. And Allah is Most-Forgiving, Very Merciful.

Thirdly, she is commanded not to wear something or dress up in a manner which incites a member of the opposite sex:

Narrated Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah (RA):  A woman met him and he found the odour of perfume in her. Her clothes were fluttering in the air. He said: O maid-servant of the Almighty, are you coming from the mosque? She replied: Yes. He said: For it did you use perfume? She replied: Yes. He said: I heard my beloved AbulQasim (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) say: The prayer of a woman who uses perfume for this mosque is not accepted until she returns and takes a bath like that of sexual defilement (perfectly). [Abu Dawud]

Fourthly, it commands both men and women to lower their gazes.

[24:30] Tell the believing men that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts; it is more decent for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do.

[24:31] And tell the believing women that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts, and must not expose their adornment, except that which appears thereof, and must wrap their bosoms with their shawls, and must not expose their adornment, except to their husbands or their fathers or the fathers of their husbands, or to their sons or the sons of their husbands, or to their brothers or the sons of their brothers or the sons of their sisters, or to their women, or to those owned by their right hands, or male attendants having no (sexual) urge, or to the children who are not yet conscious of the shames of women. And let them not stamp their feet in a way that the adornment they conceal is known. And repent to Allah O believers, all of you, so that you may achieve success.

Fifthly, it commands that speech should be in a natural manner and deliberate voice intonations to attract a member of the opposite sex is prohibited:

[33:32] O wives of the prophet, you are not like any other women, if you observe taqwa (righteousness). So, do not be too soft in your speech, lest someone having disease in his heart should develop fancies (about you); and do speak with appropriate words.

Sixthly, seclusion between members of opposite sex is completely and utterly forbidden and a means to open the doors for Shaytaan and wreck havoc!

The Prophet said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." [Tirmidhi]

In our times we have Sisters making Dawah in mixed gatherings and on youtube. We have brothers and sisters engaged in texting, emailing each other. We have brothers and sisters engaged in light hearted banter on Internet forums. Know that this isn’t Dawah towards Allah (SWT) but Dawah towards Fitnah because the Shariah has clearly demarked your role and conduct and there is no blessing in moving away from the commandments of Allah (SWT) and the noble Sunnah of Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam). Even electronically if a person has to contact a member of the opposite sex then be safe and cc. another person in your email!

Love (Emotional Relationship):

Love as a feeling is something which in inherent in a human created by Allah (SWT):

[30:21] And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect.

In the entire history of Islam there hasn’t been a single Scholar who has ever declared love Haram because it is something which is usually beyond a person’s control. The development of love doesn’t even require contact or physical sight of the beloved as a person can fall in love upon hearing the (Islamic) practise or knowledge or worship and devotion of a person regardless of their looks and not only Islamic history but our life is filled with examples of this nature. I have myself heard from brothers and sisters who married the other person merely due to their Islam and clearly admitted that they loved the person. Sisters have experienced attraction and offered themselves in marriage merely on the knowing that a person is knowledge or by hearing that the brother is strict upon the Sunnah. Brothers have felt attraction and sent proposals merely upon knowledge that sister is strict upon the Sunnah.

Then we also have brothers and sisters who have developed love based on illicit contact and breaking the boundaries set forth by Allah (SWT). It is not of immense benefit (in their condition) to remind them that their condition was brought about due to breaking the commandments of Allah (SW). It is even greater absurdity to remind them that “Love is Haram” simply because the origin of it was Haram.

To describe love we start with none other than Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) who truly and genuinely loved Sayyida Khadija (RA) and missed her as long as he lived. This love was not something which Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) developed but it was something which was placed therein by Allah (SWT) as clearly narrated in Authentic Hadeeth:

'A'isha (RA) reported: Never did I feel jealous of the wives of Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) but in case of Khadija, although I did no, (have the privilege to) see her. She further added that whenever Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) slaughtered a sheep, he said: Send it to the companions of Khadija I annoyed him one day and said: (It is) Khadija only who always prevails upon your mind. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Her love had been nurtured in my heart by Allah Himself.  [Muslim]

'A'isha reported: Never did I feel jealous of any wife amongst the wives of Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) as I feel in case of Khadija (though I had never seen her), for he praised her very often. [Muslim]

Both of these Ahadeeth are narrated by Sayyida Aisha (RA) and after the passing away of Sayyida Khadija (RA) and our noble and beloved Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) had no reason (Astaghfirullah) to categorically state these words merely for the sake of it!

He had genuine and profound feelings of love for our mother Sayyida Khadija (RA)!

It is absurd to cast this feeling as Haram or a disease otherwise Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) wouldn’t have categorically mentioned it.

Love for a woman is natural and a blessing of Allah (SWT).

'Abdullah b. 'Amr reported Allah's Messenger as saying:  The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.

There is nothing wrong in love but what is wrong is unlawful expression of it and transgressing the bounds of Allah (SWT). The love of Allah (SWT) and love for Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) should overpower the love for an individual and the person should retain their sanity and look for an Islamically acceptable outcome of love which is:

Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said: “There is nothing better for two who love one another than marriage.” [Ibn Maajah]

In fact to say or act in a manner towards one’s spouse which disaffects them is against the Sunnah:

Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said: “He who disaffects a person’s wife or servant from him is not of us.”[Ahmed]

The development of feelings is natural and not in one’s control but to act upon these feelings is under one’s control; there is nothing else which needs to be explained about this subject because the opposite of what is being said is based on cultural practises or experience of people etc. The Qur’aan & Sunnah are blatantly clear on the issue of love.

Those expressing these weird and wonderful opinions of love should try preaching to countless Muslim women (around the world) who beseech their Rabb with utmost humility to soften the hearts of their husbands towards them (Ameen).

Sex (Physical Relationship):

The second exaggeration amongst many Muslims is about sex. Once a person is engaged in the Islamically permissible bond of Nikah then it is not only permissible but praiseworthy to enjoy the sexual contact. The wording in the Qur’aan and Sunnah is frank and clear but not “vulgar”. It is a perfectly acceptable natural phenomenon which Allah (SWT) has created just like Allah (SWT) created “love” and Allah (SWT) gives permission in the Qur’aan to approach one’s wife in any manner a person wishes:

[2:223] Your women are tillage for you to cultivate. So, come to your tillage from where you wish...

This verse was revealed to the Sahaba (RA) to negate the restricted taboos and superstitions of the Jews as the Hadeeth of Saheeh Muslim explains:

Jabir (RA) declared that the Jews used to say: When a man has intercourse with his wife through the vagina but being on her back, the child will have squint, so the verse came down:" Your women are tillage for you to cultivate. So, come to your tillage from where you wish” [Muslim]

Sahabah (RA) was taught that engaging in sexual activity is a means for a reward and they were astonished! Why would they be astonished if they considered it a burden or a chore equivalent to visiting your Dentist?

...Verily for every time you say Subhannallah (Exalted is Allah) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Allahuakbar (Allah is Most Great) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Al-Hamdulillah (Praise is to Allah) there is sadaqa, and in every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa, and in every act of forbidding what is wrong there is a sadaqa, and in your sexual relations there is a sadaqa." The Companions said: "O Messenger of Allah, is there a reward for one of us when he satisfies his sexual desire?" The Prophet said: "Don't you see, if he had satisfied it with the forbidden, would there not have been a sin upon him?" They said: "Why, yes! He said: "In the same way, when he satisfies it with that which is lawful, there is for him in that a reward. [Muslim]

Sahabah (RA) displayed natural excitement towards women and to cohabit with them and to enjoy physical contact with them and  take a look at what Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) said to them:

Narrated Jabir (RA): I was with Allah's Apostle in a Ghazwa, and when we returned, I wanted to hurry, while riding a slow camel. A rider came behind me. I looked back and saw that the rider was Allah's Apostle . He said (to me), "What makes you in such a hurry?" I replied, "I am newly married." He said, "Did you marry a virgin or a matron?" I replied, "(Not a virgin but) a matron." He said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl with whom you could play and who could play with you?" Then when we approached (Medina) and were going to enter (it), the Prophet said, "Wait till you enter (your homes) at night (in the first part of the night) so that the ladies with unkempt hair may comb their hair, and those whose husbands have been absent (for a long time) may shave their pubic hair." (The sub-narrator, Hashim said: A reliable narrator told me that the Prophet added in this Hadith: "(Seek to beget) children! Children, O Jabir!") [Bukhari]

The attitude of Islam towards sex and sexual intercourse is absolutely and completely at odds with Christianity. Hujjatul-Islam Imam Ghazali (RA) stated in Al-Ihya Uloomud-Deen:

“And I swear, what they have said is absolutely true! For indeed, in this pleasure [of sex] – a pleasure that cannot be compared to any other pleasure ­– if only it were to persist, it would indeed be a sign or signal for those pleasures of the next life that have been promised to us.

Again, there is nothing else which needs to be explained about this subject because the opposite of what is being said is based on cultural practises or experience of people etc.

Polygyny and enjoyment of women:

I don’t belong to the same camp as one of our beloved Syed Maulana who has patented the discussed of polygyny on the Internet :- )

Nevertheless the issue on this matter is blatant and clear from the Qur’aan:

[4:3] If you fear that you will not do justice to the orphans, then, marry the women you like, in twos, in threes and in fours.

It is a matter which Allah (SWT) has made permissible and no Mufti, Shaykh or “elder” has got the right to impose his experiences over the commands of Allah (SWT).

What prompted be to add this section to the blog was a talk from a well known Shaykh who narrates the story which he heard from his Shaykh about a circus juggler and narrates his bad experience about polygyny. While he is narrating this anecdote you can hear laughing and giggling crowd in the background.

On one hand is an explicit command of Allah (SWT) and on the other is the experience of a circus juggler being narrated 2nd hand from the pulpit, should I even dignify this with a response?

Then another anecdote is mentioned and personal experience is narrated where the Shaykh never found anyone happy who has married again! I personally know of Ulamah and Mahaykh within the Silsilah of this Shaykh who are either divorced or unhappy in their current marriage, in fact the Shaykh (HA) has a book in which he writes, “I am compelled to write this due to the prevalence of unhappy marriages and complaints which have reached me”. Almost all of us his Khulafa have talks explicitly devoted to problems in marriage!

So what should be done in the light of experiences of the very same Shaykh and his Khulafah, should we abandon marriage all together to avoid the hassle completely? Surely that is the logical outcome which is to decide Islamic issues based on anecdotes and experiences instead of explicitly relying on verses of the Qur’aan and the Sunnah of Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam).

During the same talk the Shaykh derides those who follow their Nafs and take another wife despite having a beautiful and dutiful wife and I ask, “So what?”  Which commandment of Shariah has this man broken?

Let’s suppose a man decides to take a wife half his age, exemplary in beauty, a virgin and of stunning physical features, “so what?”  Which commandment of Shariah has this man broken?

Let’s take it a step further and let’s suppose that a man decides to take a wife half his age, exemplary in beauty, a virgin and of stunning physical features,  simply to enjoy her physically “so what?”  What commandment of Shariah has this man broken?

Neglect of the first wife is separate matter altogether and should be addressed and stressed but let’s drop the apologetic attitude towards sex and sexuality as it isn’t the way of Islam but the way of Christianity. The apologetic attitude is to defend polygyny on the grounds of increased women or to assist a Muslim woman in need etc. All of these are noble acts and Insha’Allah the person will be richly rewarded, nevertheless the issue here is that if a person chooses to forgo altruistic motives and marries merely to satisfy his desires and physicality then there is nothing wrong with it in Islamic Shariah.

Again, there is nothing else which needs to be explained about this subject because the opposite of what is being said is based on cultural practises or experience of people etc.

Those laughing in these talks should ponder over their behaviour! Shaykh is sitting on the mimbar of Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) and mocking an injunction of Allah (SWT) with anecdotes of circus jugglers, did the thoughts of what is being said and what is being opposed ever cross the minds of those laughing and giggling? 

Extreme examples aside, those laughing and giggling at polygyny should laugh to the faces of countless Muslim women (around the world) who for one reason or another cannot get married and go to sleep sobbing in tears every night making duas to their Rabb to relieve them of their loneliness. Those laughing and giggling at polygyny should laugh to the faces of countless Muslim men (around the world) who feel unsatisfied emotionally and physically, yet feel powerless to do something about it. The pathetic attitude of our brothers and sisters have turned a perfectly permissible act of Allah (SWT) into a social and moral stigma!

Outcome of ignoring Halal:

When all of the above which is perfectly legal and Halal is ignored then the Muslim Ummah will suffer what Christians and Christianity suffered  and we are already witnessing the signs:

  1. Gays in Karachi
  2. Adultery website: Life is short, have an affair

In the end we ask Allah (SWT) to give us firmness and steadfastness upon the Deen of Allah (SWT) and the noble Sunnah of Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) and if we are unable to recognise the true face of our Deen from the original sources of Qur’aan, Sunnah, Ijmah and Qiyas then give us the ability to learn from the horrors of Christianity, Hollywood & Bollywood! (Ameen).

Tags:
posted by Muadh_Khan on 27th August 2013 - 11 comments

11 Comments

Fana fi Shaykh wrote on 27 Aug 2013
How many wives do you have yourself that you pointing finger at such a big shaykh who has millions of mureeds?
Blogger's Reply:
Asslamo Allaikum, When you have something substantial to say or comment upon, I will respond Insha'Allah. Jazakullah Khairun
 
Fana fi Allah wrote on 28 Aug 2013
@Fana fi Shaykh

Care to mention who this Shaykh is? Or is that top secret classified information?
Blogger's Reply:
Doesn't matter who he is. The respected Shaykh with millions of Mureeds still has to make a Shariah based objection.
 
naqshbandi wrote on 28 Aug 2013
The shaykh is much more well versed in deeni and worldly matters than you. It is not deserving of you to refute him with such harsh comments. Shaykh is explaining to his mureedeen how not to complicate your life. He is interpretating shariah by his valid experiences.
Blogger's Reply:
I don't know what you are talking about but there is no reason to interpret a clear command of Allah (SWT). We are ordered to fast in Ramadhan and no reason for an explanation. We are ordered to marry 1,2,3 or 4 times no explanation is required.
 
lurker wrote on 29 Aug 2013
This article makes an emotional argument based on a haughty pretext that the Jahil-Majhul (ignorant, unknown) Blogger follows Shariah and upholds the Sunnah, whilst those in disagreement violate the Shariah and debase the Sunnah.

Let us begin by reminding ourselves that this Blogger is not a scholar in the least. In fact, although this Blogger pretends to be a great Islamic mind, he doesn't even know how to write Jazak Allahu Khayran and is found always writing "Jazakullahu Khairun" - a clear indication of his weakness in basic Arabic comprehension. Yes, this is the Jahil-Majhul Blogger who is now preaching Islam to you. Times of fitnah, indeed - remember the signs? Taking Deen from misguided folk - yep, "MuftiSays" gives a prime blogging space to a Jahil-Majhul.

To proceed, here are some examples of silly "analogies" which the Jahil-Majhul Blogger views to be genius, logical conclusions.

JAHIL-MAJHUL BLOGGER SAYS:

"I don't know what you are talking about but there is no reason to interpret a clear command of Allah (SWT). We are ordered to fast in Ramadhan and no reason for an explanation. We are ordered to marry 1,2,3 or 4 times no explanation is required."

RESPONSE:

Clear command of Allah to "pray Tahajjud" (Surah Bani Israil). Is it just a simple command now? Or can it be explained as all Fuqaha explain: "if you fear missing Fajr Salat then you should leave out Tahajjud"? By your logic, there is no room for "explanation" of this argument.

JAHIL-MAJHUL BLOGGER SAYS:

"What prompted be to add this section to the blog was a talk from a well known Shaykh who narrates the story which he heard from his Shaykh about a circus juggler and narrates his bad experience about polygyny. While he is narrating this anecdote you can hear laughing and giggling crowd in the background."

RESPONSE:

Well done. Pat yourself on the back. You can sleep well tonight. A great service to mankind.

JAHIL-MAJHUL BLOGGER SAYS:

"On one hand is an explicit command of Allah (SWT) and on the other is the experience of a circus juggler being narrated 2nd hand from the pulpit, should I even dignify this with a response?"

RESPONSE:

Dear friends, this is a disgusting attempt to create a scenario of something which doesn't exist. This Jahil-Majhul Fool of Blogger claims the following:

1. There is an explicit command of Allah [doesn't explain which command Jahil-Majhul Blogger is talking about]

2. Then claims it is being opposed by the speaker giving a story of a "circus juggler" [this takes effect by use of the English idiom "on the other [hand]".

3. The result, is for the reader to believe, that this "so-called" Shaykh, has taken some circus-fool over a direct command of Allah. So this directly implies an analogous instance of the following:

(A) "Establish Salah" - Command from Allah (SWT)

(B) My Shaykh told me a story of a circus fool, who said if you pray Salah, you can no longer do tricks.

(C) Therefore, I am telling you to leave Salah, because tricks in the circus are more important.

Anyone, with the slightest drop of decency, would now disregard what this Fool Jahil-Majhul Blogger claims. This is the height of dishonesty, the extreme end of a filthy poisonous lie. This Jahil-Majhul Fool deserves to be whipped for this despicable, cowardly attempt to build an argument out of something that doesn't exist: straw-man? Yes, that shall be the new name, Straw-Man, Fool, Jahil-Majhul Blogger on "MuftiSays" - Allahu Akbar. How long until the "MuftiSays" to him to our Straw Man to take leave?!

STRAW-MAN JAHIL-MAJHUL BLOGGER SAYS:

"Then another anecdote is mentioned and personal experience is narrated where the Shaykh never found anyone happy who has married again! I personally know of Ulamah and Mahaykh within the Silsilah of this Shaykh who are either divorced or unhappy in their current marriage, in fact the Shaykh (HA) has a book in which he writes, “I am compelled to write this due to the prevalence of unhappy marriages and complaints which have reached me”. Almost all of us his Khulafa have talks explicitly devoted to problems in marriage!

So what should be done in the light of experiences of the very same Shaykh and his Khulafah, should we abandon marriage all together to avoid the hassle completely? Surely that is the logical outcome which is to decide Islamic issues based on anecdotes and experiences instead of explicitly relying on verses of the Qur’aan and the Sunnah of Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam)."


RESPONSE

Now this Straw-Man has fallen to the most shocking depth of deception! Ya Allah!

Let us open this up.

-- SUMMARY OF STRAW-MAN JAHIL-MAJHUL BLOGGER'S POINTS

1. Shaykh explains in his experience he has never found anyone happy who has married more than once

2. Straw-Man Jahil-Majhul Foolish Blogger claims: He knows Ulama and Shaykhs of the same Silsilah who are divorced or unhappy in their marriage to ONE wife.

3. Shaykh and Khulafa talk about how to solve problems in marriage through books and talks.

4. Straw-Man Jahil-Majhul Foolish Blogger claims: Based on the above facts and premises, "Surely [the] logical outcome [is]" to "abandon marriage all together to avoid the hassle completely?".

-- STATING THE OBVIOUS

This foul-mouthed, ill-intending straw-man, has totally lost his straws! Look at what this FOOL is saying, on "MuftiSays" blog (Ya Allah!).

Response: Mr. Genius, point [1] supports the notion that it is difficult to be happy in polygamous marriage.

Point [2] further supports point [1], because if the "Ulama and Shaykhs" that Mr. Genius knows of are finding it difficult to have just one wife, then what of more than one wife!?

Point [3] serves no purpose to the argument whatsoever. It is superfluous; rather, it is there to add spice. What has giving talks and writing books about marital problems got to do with marrying more than once?

The logical outcome of any of the points Mr Genius has mentioned is ABSOLUTELY NOT to abandon marriage altogether. There countless nuances to this matter than a series of binary black and whites, which Mr Genius refuses to comprehend. For example, perhaps the Shaykh is advocating:

(1) Marry once to save yourself from much of the fitnah by assisting in controlling one's desires

(2) Bear the difficulties and problems in a single marriage, rather than multiplying

(3) The first two are a clear playoff as there is no third option to go and fulfill desires with anyone and never get married is there?

(4) Don't marry more than once because the Shaykh, in his experience and understanding, has come to the conclusion that marrying more than once in this day and age leads to (2) above overriding the benefits of (1) - i.e. the "playoff" tips in favour of an undesirable effect which is to cause strain, difficulties and problems in marital life beyond any perceived benefit in controlling one's desires!

-- SUMMARY

Mr. Blogger Straw-Man Jahil-Majhul Genius has ABSOLUTELY distorted what the Shaykh has said. He leaves the reader thinking that the Shaykh advocates not getting married at all, that the Shaykh bases his Deen on anecdotes, that the Ulama and Mashayikh that sit with the Shaykh are a bunch cheerleaders. Ya Allah, what a slander!

FINAL APPEAL

Remember, dear friends, "this matter [of knowledge] is your entire religion, so watch who you take your religion from".

Are you going to listen to a Jahil (IGNORANT) Majhul (UNKNOWN) Straw-Man Blogger who found a little spot on MuftiSays? How long will MuftiSays tolerate this fool? This is an appeal to all readers, and MuftiSays, disregard this Internet-Nobody and take your religion from real scholars. Be wary of the signs of Qiyamah!

There is no time to go through the rest of this blog post. Too many emotional arguments, unrelated events to stir emotional arousal. There is clarity for those who are sincere and seek to look beyond this web of deception and deceit!
Blogger's Reply:
Asslamo Allaikum, Maulana brought this to my attention on SF and he has asked if this is the text of Mufti A.S. Desai (HA) so I can reproduce it directly beneath the blog above for people to read and benefit from, no answer is given so its just being displayed as another comment and readers can make up their own mind on how pertinent it is to argument made it in the blog. Jazakullah Khairun
 
Ubuntu wrote on 29 Aug 2013
Th reply to respected brother Muadh's blog is sheer nonsense written in an emotional burst of the moment. At the most it can be compared to a child's weening.

What the brother wrote in the blog is absolutely true.
 
Muftisays Authorizer wrote on 29 Aug 2013
SubhanAllah, what utter non sense from the commentators. I'm sure majority will agree with Ubuntu on this one.

Quote from above: Dear friends, this is a disgusting attempt to create a scenario of something which doesn't exist.

Well if it doesn't exist and no names were ever mentioned, then what's the problem?

Anyways, you've exposed your own foolishness.

Brother Muadh is here to stay, inshaAllah walHumdulillah.

abu mohammed
Blogger's Reply:
W.Salam. We make judgement calls in life on many occasions and there is every possibility that since I am human I have misunderstood and made a mistake. There is also every possibility that I haven’t articulated my thoughts properly. There is also every possibility that I have not been able to conduct the matter with the full Adab and decorum required to raise my points considering the high rank and stature of the Mashaykh involved (which I haven’t disclosed). I am willing to discuss this with anybody and anywhere and absolutely willing to listen to their point of view and I have contacted various people including Ulamah, Moderators and Vice-Ameer of the forum. But what they have done is abusively slandered me, Muftisays (which have nothing to do with this as the disclaimer reads) and then deleted the response (not posted by me) and unwilling to even remotely consider the possibility that slandering someone and then blocking their views (in response) is unjust, unfair and unIslamic. Response can be read here freepdfhosting.com/e31cacf192.pdf
 
Anon wrote on 30 Aug 2013
Muadh Khan:

"It is a matter which Allah (SWT) has made permissible and no Mufti, Shaykh or “elder” has got the right to impose his experiences over the commands of Allah (SWT)."



Rahmaniyyah from Sunniforum:

"The article from Muadh has to be the greatest blunder of his internet career. So much distortion, really sad to see him go off like this? Strange.

Look at what he says here:

"It is a matter which Allah (SWT) has made permissible and no Mufti, Shaykh or “elder” has got the right to impose his experiences over the commands of Allah (SWT)."

He blatantly has no idea what he is talking about! First he says it's "permissible" then he says "commands of Allah"? What is it? Is it "jawaz" or "hukum"? Is the "elder" opposing a "hukum" or is he giving a counsel concerning something that is Jaa'iz? What an evil distortion!

This pathetic entry from him has created a lot of confusion. And I'm not surprised that Ml Taliban1 has teamed up with him; standard protocol."



I think Muadh Khan is quite aware that it is permissible, not obligatory, to marry 1, 2, 3 or 4.

I believe his usage of the word "command" is not in reference to it being Waajib, but in reference to permissibility being a Hukm Shar'ee.

As the Usoolis say, "the Ahkam Taklifiyyah (commandments pertaining to legal responsibility) are five: Wujoob, Istihbaab, Jawaaz/Ibaahah, Karaahah, Tahreem."

So in this sense:
- Wujoob is a Shar'ee command
- Istihbaab is a Shar'ee command
- Jawaaz/Ibaahah is a Shar'ee command
- Karaahah is a Shar'ee command
- Tahreem is a Shar'ee command


Given that this is the case, and if Muadh Khan can confirm he meant command in the sense highlighted above (and not in the sense of "command = Wujoob"), we can confirm that is a case of a spectacular own goal by Rahmaniyyah, instead of it being the greatest blunder of Muadh Khan's internet career.

Still, Muadh Khan should have clarified that this "divine command" is in the sense of legislating marriage (with 1, 2, 3 or 4), not in the sense of "command = Wujoob". Had he clarified that, we wouldn't have seen such an embarrassing blunder by Rahmaniyyah.
Blogger's Reply:
W-Salam Mufti Saheb, Masha'Allah for the excellent explanation and analysis but would you agree that the more strange statement in Br Rahmaniyyah (Vice Ameer of Sunniforum) rebuttal is, "Where in the Quran does it command you to marry more than once?" Jazakullah Khairun and may Allah (SWT) reward you immensely (Ameen).
 
Dr Rizwan wrote on 30 Aug 2013
Pathetic.. Absolutely Pathetic!

The level of intelligence of someone who cannot decipher the difference between commands and 'order' is equal of a drowning man desperate to get hold of a bark of tree.

To show his incompetence and blind love of his Shaykh and hatred of br Muadh he uses his embarrasingly pathetic understanding to form a lame argument and act as a qualified alim.

This is the integrity of a vice ameer of an islamic forum. He should immediately be removed from this position and told to sit in his shaykh's suhbah for sometime until prejudice and pride is removed from his inner soul. This guy doesn't even know where Allah has ordered to marry 2,3,4 women. Height of incomptence.
Blogger's Reply:
He has love for his Shaykh and he has reacted in an emotional manner and that's normal for most people of Tassawuff.
 
kama tudeenu tudaan wrote on 31 Aug 2013
-- STATING THE OBVIOUS

This foul-mouthed, ill-intending straw-man, has totally lost his straws! Look at what this FOOL is saying, on "MuftiSays" blog (Ya Allah!).

Response: Mr. Genius, point [1] supports the notion that it is difficult to be happy in polygamous marriage.

Point [2] further supports point [1], because if the "Ulama and Shaykhs" that Mr. Genius knows of are finding it difficult to have just one wife, then what of more than one wife!?

Point [3] serves no purpose to the argument whatsoever. It is superfluous; rather, it is there to add spice. What has giving talks and writing books about marital problems got to do with marrying more than once?








Ya Allah!!!! Calling others jahil and himself makes No sense at all. Maybe the person was standing in front of a full size mirror while writing that JAHALAT. How do stupid jahils like this one get space on islamic forums?
 
Talib wrote on 31 Aug 2013
Salam u alaikum Wa Rehmatullah wa barakatahu,

Deal bro Muadh,

Your article discusses a very important issue, taadud is something, that indeed muslims have left. Due to this many problems have arisen in the ummah. But along with Taadud alot of other problems have crept into this ummah, for example laziness, trying to cut corners in life, generally muslims not acting responsible in comparison to our aslaf and akabireen etc....

However, i would like to present an argument here, the shaykh that you have mentioned in your article, it seems he is a shaykh of taswauff and i have even heard some rumours , who it might be. But anyways, i havn't come across so far in your article or anywhere else, that the shaykh is rejecting or denouncing this allowance of taadud in our deen.

From what i have understood is that, since him being someone from the line of tasawuff, and who advises him mureeds, what he is most probably advising is that, no need to take on extra responsibilities, especially just to fulfill some extra nafsani desire. Your basic and required apetite of nafse is met with one good wife. Encouraging them to spend rest of the time excelling in ihsan i guess...

Now from shari point of view, there is no problem with this, as many many pious akabireen of this ummah chose this path, some even did not marry even once, knowing the sunnah is to marry, and having more than one wife also being sunnah. Yet they chose something else, due to their individual aspiration.

We can argue, that their aspirations are weak and fulfilling the sunnah was a higher maqam, but still , their is no fatwa or malamat on them, since what they did was within the bounds of shariah.

similarly this shaykh, hasnt advised anything out of the bounds of shariah, that he deserves malamat. infact he is not even advising not to marry or celebacy, all he is saying is that having more than one wife is not a candy for everyone.

We can disagree, but , forsure there is no criticism on this shaykh , as he is not suggesting to eliminate the concept of taadud, neither is he rejecting. He is mere advising, and based on hikmah and current conditions, this is what he felt is better.

Offcourse, in the end, there are always some people who Allah blesses and gives the capacity to practice. And condemning them, is infact wrong. Who are we to condemn when Allah has blessed someone with more.

Anyways, As a third person, without having any attached emotions, just presenting a very basic laymen argument. Keeping Husn e dhan with the shaykhs words, and your intentions. I thought to share some of these thoughts that came into my mind after reading your article.

I believe on one hand, we have the liberty in our deen to practice taadud, and also on the other hand, we have elders and our mashaikh who advising us is also from our deen.

We hope the person who practices taadud is also responsible muslim, and we hope our mashaikh are also sincere and responsible beings as our elders.

JazakAllah Khayrun for sharing and continue to write your beneficial blogs.

wa salam.
Talib
Blogger's Reply:
Asslamo Allaikum, May Allah (SWT) reward you for your kindness in pointing out the matter and explaining. The blog was written after consultation with Ulamah and their opinion is that personal experiences cannot be used to counter (or discourage) a Hukum of Allah (SWT) at all. This is also the opinion of many of SF (itself). Allah (SWT) knows best. Jazakullah Khairun
 
iqra wrote on 10 Apr 2014
What a nice article..
I am a troubled girl who has transgerresed the rules of islam and now i am suffering.I am in love with a non muslim.I am trying to get out of this haram relationship but I am too kind and soft and I am unable to take harsh steps.The one I love becomes depressed and sad whenever i try to leave him so it has become very hard for me.I cant marry him also because he is a kafir.Please brother give me a solution so that i return to the righteous path and i also dont hurt the kafir's feelings.Also tell me ways that i can convince him to become a muslim.
Blogger's Reply:
Yes there is a solution. You need to think about the fact that every time you are with him your Creator is displeased! So what is more important to you?
 
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