ETIQUETTE AMONGST BRETHREN IN THE TARIQA

A murid should like for his brother what he likes for himself, and this is the core of all conduct. The following are examples and further explanations.

A murid should hide the faults of his brothers and not publicize them.
A murid who focuses on the faults of people with bad intention, then his heart will become barren. A saying in Tabrani says that Allah will search out the faults on the Day of Judgment of the one who searches out the faults of others. Such a one will be disgraced.
Hadrat Hasan Basri used to say, “By Allah, we used to look upon a people who didn’t have any faults. However, when they started searching out the faults of people, Allah laid open their faults.”

Hadrat Shaykh Ali Mirdhae’e used to say, “He who does not hide the faults of his brothers in tariqat has only unveiled his own faults.”

Shaykh Sayed Ahmed Zahid used to say, “When you see someone committing a sin in secrecy, abscond him in secret, and not publicly. If you see him doing so openly, abscond him openly.”

The murid should wish good for his brothers not only in this world, but in the Hereafter as well. The Messenger of Allah used to say, “Our religion is, wanting the best for each other.”
A murid should not consider himself better than his brother if he stayed up all night in worship and his brother only woke up before dawn. Moreover, he should consider his brotherÂ’s sleep better than his worship.
It is mandatory for a salik to consider himself lower than all muslims, otherwise he will be included amongst the arrogant. Hadrat Sayed Abdul Aziz Dayrini used to say, “The salik should consider himself lower than the whole creation.”
The salik should consider his brothers his kin and should not differentiate between his troubles and their troubles.
Hadrat Imam Hasan used to say, “It is with etiquette that the murid should service/ attend to his brothers, and even then apologize that he wasn’t able to fully serve them as was deserving of them.”
The murid should abscond himself in front of his brothers if he misses a dhikr gathering for any reason. Hadrat Sufyan Soari excelled his brothers in this particular deed.
Hadrat Sayed Ahmed Rifai used to say, “He who tries to justify the wrong actions of his nafs will be destroyed.”
It is mandatory that the salik stay away from bad influences and gatherings, and from wherever he may hear back- biting and slander.
The salik should teach good manners to his other brothers but should not think himself to be better than them.
The salik should put his life and wealth at his brothersÂ’ disposal. Hadith teaches us that Allah u helps people as long as they help each other.
The brothers should not back-bite against a salik who has been removed from a gathering by his shaykh, or the shaykh has otherwise been strict on him. It might be that they themselves are lower in AllahÂ’s eyes than this turned out salik.
The salik should attend to the needs of the old, weak, and sick amongst his shaykhÂ’s murideen. Hadrat Shaykh Ali Khaas used to say that whoever wants the hand of mercy upon him should tend to the weak, and consider this an honor for him.
Shaykh Sayed Ali Khaas used to say “Forgive anyone who wrongs you; don’t say that the shariah has given me permission to exact the same degree of revenge. Many things are permitted in shariah, but it is better to leave them at certain times.”
Shaykh Sayed Ali Khaas used to say, “Whenever a brother comes to visit you, stand up and meet him very humbly and respectfully.”
Brothers should not remain angry with one another for more than three days. If one of them greets the other as an excuse to start talking, but the other does not reply, then the one who initiated is not at fault. The sin of being angry and not talking will fall upon the other.
If a brother does a special favor and kindness for the salik, the salik should try and repay that kindness.
The salik should not forget his brothers whenever supplicating. According to hadith, an angel says to him, “The same be unto you.” An angel’s supplication is never rejected.
Imam Shafi used to say, “Trust your brother’s character and do not fall short is discharging the rights that he deserves.”
The salik should not be hard hearted or stingy when his brother requests his help in a time of need, even if he has to give him his shirt, shoes, and food.
The salik should always talk respectfully when conversing with his brothers. He will be lost if he is rude. Hadith says, “The bad person is he whom people leave because of his bad attitude.” Hadrat Sayed Ali Khaas used to say, “Being careful of one’s speech is better than being careful with one’s clothes.”
The salik should hate the sin, and not the sinner. The Messenger of Allah said regarding onions, “I hate this plant’s stench.” Scholars have said that the Prophet objected to the smell of the onion, and not the onion itself.
The salik should consider his brothersÂ’ needs better than optional prayers (nafl).
Hadrat Sulaiman Darani used to say, “The successful in tariqa are those who consider even the cleaning of their brothers’ bathrooms an honor.” People like Imam Ghazali, Sayed Ali Khaas , and Shaykh Aminuddin have done such services. Hadrat Maulana Muhammad Ilyas used to clean the latrines of those people who used to leave on tabligh, and used to offer thanks for such an honor.
The salik should keep travelling essentials, like a knife and prayer mat, with him while at all times whilst traveling, in case they are ever needed by his companions.
The salik should humbly and respectfully ask forgiveness from his brother if he has forgetfully disrespected him. Examples of these include leaving the head bare. Every brother in tariqa is a representation of the shaykh and disrespect is not to be tolerated.
A salik should immediately forgive if anyone of his brothers asks for forgiveness. Hadith from Tirmidhi Sharif says, “If a brother comes to him asking forgiveness, it is mandatory to accept his request (for forgiveness), whether he be sincere or not. He shouldn’t come to me (a) if he doesn’t forgive his brother.”
The salik should not be envious of anyone who excels him in tariqat or lessons.
The salik should never consider himself to be better than the murideen of another shaykh, because they are also his brothers in tariqa.