Brothers i may have given a 1st divorce to my wife and i am confused as well please advise
for context - years ago my father out of nowhere said to my mother i give you my first talaq now. Because she speaks very rude to him
anyway i was very angry at my wife as she was rude to me and recently shes been quite aggressive i do so much for her but i feel the appreciation isnt there, i try make her life easier shes a very good wife we have children overall i am happy with her but recently shes been not as good - she always goes in a mood and iv told her i want peace and a good life
usually when she argues i say i think you never liked me so if you really want you can leave me and find someone better (immature i know) but deep down its like a threat not saying i want you to go an marry someone else- shes not very loving but thats her nature....
anyway usually i say to her youve gone quite rude and the way you speak to me sometimes and make my life abit harder than it is better you jus leave now and go to your mums house but its always a threat never you leave now
today.. i said to her if you keep carrying on 'like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now'
now i was angry but i dont think this is a 1st talaq, i still think this is a threat of talaq
but she is saying that after that i said 'which i will give you now' i wasvery angry i do not remember but i know i said- i dont think this is a talaq as i nevet said this is your first divorce etc
' like my father i wil not hesitate to give you your first talaq right now'
i did not say you are divorced for ever, or say you are divorced three times, or said i give you talaq, but i said like my father i will not HESITATE to give you a talaq right now (or 1st talaq right now) nor did i say i give you the first talaq now?
if i said what i said ' 'like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now'
2 if i said what she is saying i said ''like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now, so ill give you it now) but i did not say so here is my 1st talaq
worst case scenario if she has got her first talaq, shes in her idda now, if i say to her i am taking you back or be intimate with her is this reversed? i will do both and never mention the word talaq ever- or tell her to go to her mums if she wont improve her attitde( the only time i tell her to go home or leave me is based on the fact if she wont stop being rude etc)
obv i have learnt my lesson - to do these threats, or talk about talaq, no matter how angry i wont mention it but just upset and feeling paranoid? overall these words were used as a threat never in my mind i wanted to divorce her because i love her....
In short-
If i said ‘like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now’
Or what my wife says (i was angry and do not remember) i said like my father i will not hestiate to give you the first talaq right now which i am going to give you now
Throughout this the intention which was made clear to her was on the basis she does not change moving forward at not any point i was thinking of giving her the first talaq
My wife has PCOS. We were having a heated argument on phone. She kept asking me for divorce on phone. I kept refusing her and then she asked to me for divorce again and i hung up the call. I gave it a thought and decided not to give her divorce. she kept on calling me and i was not picking her call. Then i decided to pick her call and says words to scare her. The conversation that i remember goes like this: Wife: "speak", "what happened" and then i replied "whatever you wanted has happened (in urdu)", next words i am not sure what i said but could be one of these phrases "we dont have a relationship anymore (in urdu)" or " i am not your husband anymore" she replied crying that please dont do this. then i am not sure if i said "you are free (in english)". then she started having panic attacks and i told her that i havent given it. I clarified that i didnt do it.
Please note that i am sure that i didnt have any intention to do it. Scaring her was the last resort for me because she is going through PCOS and eventually she starts hitting herself. I just wanted to shut her up and it worked.
Please let me know if its talaaq or not and if it is please let me know if it's bain or not. Please note that my wife only remembers me saying "what you wanted has happened" and i never used the word "talaaq". Also, after the phrase"what you wanted has happened" I am not sure what the exact words were but for sure I never said Talaaq explicitly neither did I ever intend too.
As-salam Alaykum
My question pertains to using lip balm while fasting (this is more complicated than you might think).
I have developed a condition on my lips in which it has become compulsory to use lip balm after every 15-20 mins. This came about as a permanent side effect of an acne medicine which I took many years ago. The problem is that the lip balm is always going down my throat as I can taste it. This is when I am not fasting. However, when I am fasting, I still have to use the lip balm because of the (extreme) condition that has developed. I can do without food and drink but I cannot do without lip balm any more. Should I continue to fast or should I stop fasting and just pay fidyah for the rest of my life?
Thankyou.
Salaam,
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Asalamualaikum
Most respected Moulana
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Narrated this story anonymously
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Jazakallah khayr
Al-salaamu 'alaikum
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Assalamu Alaikum,
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May Allah reward you
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