Asalamualaikum, please may you reply as soon as you see this. I have extreme waswasah which affects me every single minute (or every couple of minutes) every day (not an exaggeration) to do with the d word, this happens in prayer, zhikr, sleep, eating food, doing anything with my wife, literally anything. It happens all day everyday.
I used to be active, physically and mentally and thought if you have these mental problems just exercise or just be put in Africa or Palestine and live the life their living , and then see if you worry about OCD when your fighting for food or survival etc, but now it’s affecting me severely. Alhumdulillah i got married March 4 2024, at 20 years of age, it was with a woman I was in a haraam relationship with but I wanted the haraam to go and married during university and did a lot of night shifts (patrolling as a security guard) to make ends meet Alhumdullilah.
My waswasah got really bad regarding “d” word. I can’t even say anything unrelated to it which starts with “D” or “T”or anything without thinking about it. The conditional statements run in my mind every second. For example- a man can just be asking a normal question, whether angry happy or whatever, and in his head after every statement he makes ever, the end bit “or d word happens” or the actual “I d word you” or “she is d word” literally is always in my head or it’s just the “d” or “t” word on its own. Literally any possible d word statement you can think off is always in my head, and it is every moment.
I kept consulting mufti’s and imaam asking questions and they eventually block me, stop answering or they may go to study in another country so I can’t really contact anybody. I kind of just (although unreliable) just put my problems into chat GPT and go with that. May Allah reward all these Mufti’s/ Imaams who dealt with me, the problem is, I ask questions and it’s all good that they answer. They all give guidelines. But the problem is new scenarios occur which I think “oh I need to tell them this” deep down I know it doesn’t do anything but I just have a compulsion to ask.
I have always have OCD now that I think of it, my mum was a single mum before she remarried, and I used to do dua for her for ages naming all things that could possibly happen, I would list them all as a young kid in my hands till my hands hurt to make sure if I do dua for every single thing, a bad thing won’t happen to her when she goes to study or anything, I would later stop doing this and it would be very minor and would be about cleaning and then other small things like sorting out stuff, I grew up and now it’s come to my marriage. I also believe most of my family have OCD, and a guy related to me actually died in Ramadan because of OCD and the medication he took. Everyone in my family just ignores it though to be honest.
All these imaams and mufti’s tell me to ignore it, they give me zhikr to read and tell me to increase my knowledge, I do this but it’s hard. One imaam also did ruqya. They also tell me that under waswasah nothing counts which is all well.
Problem is sometimes I think these things without waswasah, I think these thoughts/ statements myself, or I think that I think them myself and I’m worried if the questions below do anything. I’ve done some research and want to know if my knowledge is correct-
Nowadays, I just sit down in my room or anywhere and think, I have bitten my tongue so hard I feel my adult teeth slowly getting weaker like they are about to fall out. Just to stop myself doing anything.
Please don’t answer these according to waswasah, these are all hypothetical scenarios that I would please want answering as if it’s a man with intention (or not) according to what I’ve written in question. Jazakallah.
What does not count-
1- if a man maybe upset or angry or something, and thinking about d word or imagining a scenario which he intends in his head. And god forbid he accidentally absentmindedly OUT LOUD say the full sentence whilst thinking of the scenario, even though he Didn’t mean to verbally say it, it doesn't count? Even if his wife is there?
2- Am I right in believing, If a man INTENDED D WORD by mouthing the entire explicit words of d word but there's no like sound produced, even tho ur lips tongue and mouth moved, it doesn't count? Even if your wife/someone saw ur mouth?
3- With intention of d word by this- does physical actions not count? Such as like a man pressing an implicit word on a screen, like a man pressing (not typing), the word “cancel” on his phone as his wife is there with intention of thinking he’s “cancelling nikkah” or slamming something like the door or shutting door with intention of d word by doing that?
4- if a man intentionally with the intention of causing a d word by doing this- thinks of explicit words/ statements such as full "T word" or "t word is given* or "I (explicit word) you" or anything. And intentionally moves tongue before he thinks it or during thinking it or after thinking it, doesn't form words, and what if he maybe forms first few letters with tongue? Does this not count?
5- what if a man Purposely thinks of d word with intention of issuing d word through statements/ sentences in his mind, as his tongue moves as he’s saying other words in normal conversation, or whilst he’s eating/ talking/ praying, or looking/talking to wife, but not saying them actual words.
6-If a man intentionally expresses the full rhythm of an explicit sentence related to divorce, like "| divorce you," "You are divorced," or "If you do this, you are divorced," or anything type of d word statement, and if he intended d word by doing these-
-biting tongue down and the tongue moves in rhythm with explicit sentences as it's bitten down
-biting tongue down in rhythm with explicit sentences, biting down harder or lighter in rhythm,
-breathing in/out through his nose and or mouth, making breathing sound in rhythm,
·-making noise in rhythm with no word through mouth.
-swallowing in rhythm with sound,
·- moaning in rhythm with sound.
-moving his mouth in rhythm with sound.
-licking/ biting teeth with sound in rhythm of words.
So if he intended d word by doing any of these in rhythm of explicit statements, it doesn’t count as he’s not actually saying words?
7-if on purpose someone keeps saying out loud "wallahi nothing happens" to waswasah, whenever the thoughts come and in head as it's said, HE DELIBERATELY THINKS THE THOUGHT "d word happens" comes to his head as he verbally says "nothing happens", is this also invalid as its a thought?
8- Saying incomplete phrases for example- if a man says “if you do this you are d word” and he thinks this statement and only says out loud the letter “D” and the rest is in his mind.
Or he is going to say “ I d word you” and he only says out loud “I” and the rest is in his head.
9- saying "ta ala" in namaaz, or any word, and thinks of the EXPLICIT word TO to compare as hes saying it. Such as comparing to T word.
Also saying “ignore” and as he says it he thinks “if this happens then d word” as he says it same time to compare what he’s saying to what is in his head.
Also said out loud “ ignore” and compared with with d word only in his head.
If a man intended d word by doing this (comparing what he’s saying to d word statements in his head). would it also be invalid as it’s not the full word?
10- Also I just wanted to know, l've never had intention or ever will but-
if someone is saying "Wallahi I'l never leave my wife no matter what” to himself as an oath, but in their mind they are also thinking of negative scenarios involving her as their mouth is moving saying oath, and as they are saying it, they know they would d word for them scenarios, is it d word even tho he knows he's lying as he's saying the oath? But doesn’t express the fact he would for them scenarios?
11) am I correct in believing the only possible way any d word can happen is by -minimum sound is so that the speaker can hear himself clearly? If not nothing else counts even with intention?
12. wife threatens to leave husband if he does something again she says “I’ll leave if you do this” and if the husband did the physical thing with intention of d word? Does it not count?
13. Same thing as number 12 but he does the thing without intention of d word rather he’s just annoyed at the threats. Does it not count?
14) when having these thoughts in your head- like “if I do this then ….” If the husband has these thoughts so he repeatedly does something or he avoids something again and again.l
Depending on the thought, For example a man may think “if I don’t ask my wife to come in house she is d word….”
So he keeps asking her to come in verbally (without saying the rest) if she doesn’t come in does nothing happen?
15. also what if a man had a thought “if I do this then…” and he then did the thing which is opening his mouth and touching his teeth with his tongue and got worried he had a conditional thought about doing it and he did it. He then opened his mouth again to check how he did it? Does this not do anything?
16. When trying to ignore thoughts he decided to not keep his tongue bitten so he let it free. He then has thoughts and keeps his tongue still because he’s scared soemthing could happen if it moves (like he’s saying something) and it moves does anything happen if he’s unsure if it happens on purpose or not.
17 If a man moves his tongue (without forming any words? with intention of causing an d word by doing that, does nothing happen?
18. What happens if a man tells himself he has no intention of d word in his head, his wife and him are happy on a drive, no issues. He goes to lick his teeth and has no thoughts in his head as he usually does. He then in the moment has a weird feeling (no thoughts no words) as he’s licking his teeth as if he does have intention of d word by doing this. Just a feeling inside him like he has intention by doing that? Does nothing happen as nothing is said or anything?
19- if a man says the word “conditional divorce” or just “ divorce “ in presence of his wife out loud with no intention, does nothing happen?
Also as I typed this and I typed “presence of his wife” and image of my wife popped up in my head? Again do thoughts like these do nothing ?
20-I was talking to my friend about relationships and a girl who he was with and who I was trying to push her to marry and make it halal,
and I said, “ You should never leave each other unless it's really bad” Then I got scared that it might be a conditional statement, so l added, “Even though even then you never leave””
I was also about to say, “You have done bad things but treated her good, but if you did bad things and treated her bad, then it makes sense that she isn't with you” Could either of these be considered a conditional divorce statement, and do they have any effect? , the condition potentially being the relationship being really bad or doing bad things and treating bad.
21. I once had the thought “if I don’t cheat on wife then d word” As I had this thought I was about to say the word “despicable” as these thoughts are despicable. I only ended up saying the letter “D” or I breathed out the letter D through my nose in rhythm of its sound. I don’t know which. So basically I’ve now had this thought and somehow expressed the letter D through my breath or whatever and I get terrified. I then the next day signed up to multiple dating apps to cheat ( I know extremely stupid) but then I realised the d I somehow was gonna express (which I’m not sure of I said or breathed out) was actually the word “despicable”. I also realised if a man says an incomplete phrase even with intention , such as he’s about to say d word with intention but only says letter d, it doesn’t count. So I started deleting all the apps and accounts.
I’m worried because:
22- When I made my bio or messaged women, I didn’t mention straight away, That I’m married on the apps or on some apps i didn’t mention at all. Does this do anything ?
23- When I deleted the apps they asked me the reason I’m deleting it. I simply chose the option which said “too many fake accounts” or “bots” does this do anything ?
24- I’m worried because on one of the apps they asked me why I want to delete, they gave 4 options which are:
Found/in a relationship
Billing issues
Dissatisfied with service
Other
And I don’t know which one to choose for this app.
My question is which option should I choose without causing anything ?
Thanks for your time and effort May Allah out you in the highest ranks of jannah in truly suffering and half the stupid things I’ve done in my thoughts is just tiring. I’m looking for OCD treatments etc but they take a lot of time to diagnose you or anything.
Jazakallah for answering.
As-salamu alaykum,
I seek guidance regarding the validity of my marriage. I am a Muslim man married to a Christian woman. Before our marriage, when I was not a practicing muslim, we engaged in zina (pre-marital intercourse).
Upon learning about the fiqh of interfaith marriages, I discovered that a Muslim man is not permitted to marry a non-chaste Christian woman unless both parties sincerely repent.
We attempted to rectify our situation by ceasing sexual relations and repenting before marriage. However, we continued to meet without a mahram and maintained physical contact (hugs, kisses) without sexual acts thinking that that is not fornication .
We have now been married for almost a year. During this time, I have started praying regularly and striving to follow Islamic teachings more closely and trying to bring my wife closer to embracing islam.
As we consider having kids, I am troubled by doubts about the validity of our marriage. I question the sincerity of our repentance, especially considering our continued meetings without a mahram prior to marriage.
I humbly seek advice on how to address this situation and ensure the validity of our marriage in the eyes of Allah.
Jazakom Allah khair for your guidance.
If a nikaah has happened but consummation didn't take place and that couple sit in a dining room which is usually accessible by everyone. The event goes out like this:
1) couple are in the room with the slightly opened door. People are in the house and that couple are not assured privacy. Brother of the husband enters the room without permission and the husband asks him to go out. Then either the husband closed the door without locking it or he left the door opened slightly.
2) brother after a few minutes again enters the room without permission. Husband then asks him to go out and closes the door without locking it. People were still outside.
3) after a few minutes mother of the husband knocks the door and the husband opens it and says the door is not locked. Mother then leaves the room while keeping the door open and says keep the door open we won't disturb you guys. But people were still outside and there was always a fear of someone entering.
Please let me know if this is khalwat e sahiha or no. Note that generally people would enter this room without permission and there were always people in the house so risk of someone entering was always there.
Also let me know it is khalwat e sahiha and divorce happens after khalwat e sahiha but before consummation. Will it be talaaq e bain or rajee? Note that this whole event would have been of 15 mins
Assalamualaikum.
I am asking on behalf of my friend Dr. Mamoun and his wife. Both of them are physicians and married for about 5 years and have a 1 year old daughter. They are going through a lot now so I am asking this question on their behalf.
Their marital life is apparently healthy except some intimacy issues. Last week they started a quarrel over a small thing which turned into a big fight. At a point the wife took a sharp vegetable knife and put it on the throat of husband and threatened him to give her 3 talaaq. The husband said he won't be giving any talaq even if she kills him. Then the aggressively angry wife held the knife on her throat and said, "If u don't give me 3 talaq now, I will kill myself now, give me talaaq now" the husband thought that she might really cut her carotid arteries and die and he may get into trouble and in fear to calm her down He said, "Talaaq, Talaaq, Talaaq"
After that both of them calmed down. Husband said, I said that to save your life and not to fall in trouble. I did not mean it. Wife Said, I was just scaring you. I dont want a talaq.
Dr. Mamoun and his wife knew some scholars personally around them, they got 3 different answers from 3 of them when asked about it in details.
1. Your talaaq has not taken place as you did it to save your wife's life. You are good.
2. Your 3 talaaq has been accomplished and you cannot live together anymore. You must get separated at once.
3. Giving 3 talaaq in one sitting counts as one talaaq. You can take back your wife and continue your family
The husband got more confused when he started browsing the Internet and listening to different famous scholars giving different rulings.
They are sincere and want to follow what is right and not to get into sins. They don't want to ruin the life of their daughter as broken family kids are looked down a lot in their culture and many goes through mental trauma. They are really desperate to keep the family going in the right Islamic way.
Please advise the right way to deal with this situation. We would be grateful if you tell us why other fatwas are not right. JazakAllah khair
Assalamu aleykum
I am married two years now. I was Muslim before I met my husband but didn’t pray regularly and didn’t follow all rules. My husband wanted to marry me before he really knew me and before he started to practice Islam. After he got to know me, he started to send me Islamic books and really tried to get me to an Islamic circle. Well I really started to feel guilty, when I didn’t pray and stuff and wanted to wear a hijab. After one year we had our nikkah. I really love him and he helps me to be near to Allah and doesn’t do anything (I see) that is prohibited.
Before I met my husband I had a haram relationship also with a Muslim, but he wasn’t praying and stuff. It was a sad relationship for me and also with an heartbreaking end. He texted me afterwards, but I wanted to practice Islam. Since I met my husband and find guidance I didn’t really miss him. But now that I am married it’s the second time that I start to questioning what would’ve happen, if I had answered him. If I could practice Islam with him and I start to not feel attracted to my husband also to questioning my feelings towards my husband. I fight against my will to text my ex. I don’t even know, if I want to end things with my husband. But I can’t fight against those feelings anymore. It lasted one week now.
Please help me, if you suggest any Duas or have any other suggestions just tell me. I don’t want to lose what I have with my husband and also don’t want to lose the nearness to Allah. But it makes me so sad to never be able to talk to my ex again, to never be with him again.
Hi I was married and my husband is infertile so he gave me talaq so I can have child. Me and third person had temporary nikkah to have child we done online nikkah
My question is online nikkah is allowed in Islam ? And after this temporary nikah can I marry to my ex husband again as he knows everything and in shia religion temporary nikkah is allowed we ask some of the mufti he said these all are allowed so I’m not comfused ?
Jazak Allah
There is a game tutorial that you have to complete to play the game. The game prompts you to press a button to revive/teleport a character. The character says he will be reborn through fire. I know the game is impermissible but is it kufr if I do this just to complete tutorial?
I like to clarify whether working for large retail companies such as Amazon and Tesco is halal or haram?
Both Amazon and Tesco are selling alcohol, pork and haram food.
If I work for these companies as a data analyst where I don't sell haram products nor carry them nor promote them, will my job and income halal? Or is it still haram, because Amazon and Tesco are making their money also through selling haram products and even though I don't get involved directly, the salary I am receiving may get involved with the income of these products?
At work I have mandatory "Compliance Training".One questions about a man who doesn't hire a woman as he thinks the travel for the job is too much for her.It asks what my advice is and gives two options.The only "correct" option is that he is being prejudiced/stereotypical. Is it kufr to click this?Could we say it IS stereotypical to say a woman can't travel a lot(as she can travel but a mahram is required)
Assalamualaykum brother,
How are you.
I’m a Muslim by birth, married with three kids. After all these years of marriage a big issue has creeped up.
I have been given a few Hadith’s and a book on Hadith to check and follow. I’m not that educated as my other half, I do hijab but not much into Islamic studies.
I am forwarding the Hadith books, can you please check and clarify if they are authentic.
Also, if the books are not authentic can i take Talaq.
The books are -
At-Taliqatul Hasanu Sahih Ibn Hibban
Nemat ul Kubra - by Ibn Hajar Al Haytami Makki
Shau’b al-Iman lil Bayhaqi
Sharh Sunan ibn Majah Al Sanadi
Mishkat Al-Masahib
Sunan of Abu Dawood
Imam Ibn Kathir
JazakAllah,
Salema T