Women

Dear respected scholars,

I hope you are doing well. I am in dire need of help and do not have access to knowledgeable people. I did not see this specific question in other forums. My question is about how can I, as a daughter, honour my emotionally abusive parents when I cannot afford to leave home?

Context:
I am living in an emotionally abusive home where my elderly father and eldest brother have always been convinced by shatyaan to not commit the effort to take care of the home or their family (finances, home-maintenance, etc). My beloved mother and other older brother have bent over backwards to pick up the slack of the other two for as long as I can remember. This has been wearing down on them for not years but decades. Because of this, shaytaan has made our home his playground.

I know that, in Islam, Allah commands us to do excellence to our parents. He also wants us to maintain ties of kinship. I also know that we are encouraged to be patient, forgive, and do not become angry. I also know that women do not necessarily have an obligation to financially provide.

My Challenges:
I am chronically struggling with showing excellence to my parents, as well as forgiving, being patient, and controlling my anger in general with all of this. Anger is a huge problem for me, and I am aware this emotion comes from a percieved sense of injustice. As a woman, I also have unique challenges.

Sometimes I try to ignore my parents or brother when I am feeling upset, but if I speak to simply let them know I am feeling upset it comes out badly. It angers me so much to see my father being manipulated by shaytaan to upset my mother or brothers. My mom is also sometimes manipulated by shaytaan, which also takes a toll on me. Also, if my mother asks me to do something small, like drink medicine or put on lotion, I cannot find myself to listen (I have graduated university mashAllah, by the way).

My problem is that, if I am able to maintain my composure, I then must endure the bad behaviours of others which inevitably comes back to affect me in a negative way. Then the cycle repeats.

What I am doing about it:
The most I can find myself doing to honour my parents is cleaning the home and making food to lift the burden from my mom to have to do all of this herself. We have a group chat so I recently started trying to recognize each family member for something good they did that week. I also have made a plan to send some money to my parents each month from my income, alhamdullillah.

I try to repeat what Yusuf AS said (ma'adhullah) so that I am protected from shaytaan. This helps but, long term, I do not know how to figure out how to truly let go of the injustices I see. I also cannot move out right now. Looking for a higher paying job so I can support myself. I feel overwhelmed by how many things I have to do. I don't feel I am ready for marriage, as I have become extremely pessimistic about most men and do not want to carry this attitude with me over in wedlock.

I have tried getting couple's therapy for my parents, but it was Allah's will that it did not work out (they both decided to no longer continue therapy). My beloved aunts have also spoken to my mother about the situation at length, which I appreciate them immensely for, yet there is sadly no getting through. I also try to council my parents when I am feeling stable-headed or via text if not. Sometimes it works for a short while, then we are back to square one. I believe that shaytaan, once again, laughed at our family. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raijun.

I pray in tahajjud that my father and brother are guided. I seek forgiveness from Allah for my faults. Maintaining my health is a challenge, but I do try to go to the gym and maintain good hygiene/skin care, which was recommended to me in therapy. I journalnas well. I live in a very cold place, so going out with friends is a challenge at this time. I also study Qur'an frequently which definitely helps tremendously in soothing me by reminding me that Allah will not allow any of my good deeds go to waste. What keeps me going is my determination to please Allah.

My Question:
Dear scholars, I desperately want to honour my parents, as I know it is a major sin to disrespect them, but I find myself getting worse and worse. I don't know if I can face Allah with this.

I hope you could kindly also provide some further points of clarification:
1. Because I am a daughter, I have different responsibilities than my brothers. What are these responsibilities and how best can I fulfill them?
2. To what extent do I need to honour and obey my parents?
3. How can I make a plan to improve in respecting my parents and letting go of my anger?
4. What further steps can you recommend?

Jazak Allah khair

As salamu Alaykum,

I’m a female medical student in KSA and everyone is urging us to do research and go to clinics in the US or Canada etc for research abroad to get more experience and that it is the only way we can match for residency in our future in good places. We would travel as a group of girls, but I read that traveling without a mahram is prohibited, so I’m not sure what to do in this case.
Unfortunately we need to do these international research experiences (we must decide this week) and even for residency after 2 years, we’ll also have to end up traveling as there are no residency programs in KSA except for Saudi students, and all these things are vital for us to become capable and knowledgeable future physicians.
I can’t travel with a mahram as I do not have a brother or anyone available to accompany me except girls.
So what is the Islamic ruling on what to do in this case?

Thank you.

As-salamu alaykum
I read we can do wudu over water resistant sunscreen , would this be the same for over water resistant makeup ? ( not waterproof )

Jzkhair

Salam aleikom,

I am a revert and have question about a non-mahram guest visiting and staying at my and husbands apartment (his step sibling). The apartment has 1 bedroom with a slide door, a living room, kitchen and a bathroom that is on the hallway when you enter the home. There are no doors except the sliding door to the bedroom and the room is very small. Our guest is sleeping in the living room and I have to pray in our bedroom and there is no much space.

Is my husband obliged to provide me a separate space during his visit? I have read that it is not permissible to stay alone with non mahram and I have the right for privacy.

The question is from my wife
The problem started since few days.on October 7or 8 or 9 my period ended. On 19 of October bleeding started very little amount of continuously sometime brown and sometimes it's black so I didn't considered it as period I continued my Salah .on 24 October the red colour started and I stopped praying as it is period.on 29,30,31 I did prayed because bleeding stopped after 2 days I got same prb.and last 10 November I did start praying but today the same prb started.

What should I do.
Please help

Assalamualikum. I am a female and gave into temptation and masturbated for seconds maybe a minute not sure but not very long. Astaghfiruallah. I cant tell if I ejaculated. I stopped as I felt myself reaching orgasm so I wouldnt ejaculated. But unsure if I ejaculated anyways. Cant tell the difference between normal vagina secretion vs ejaculation? Is my fast invalidated? Do I have to make it up? Is ghusl required? Do I have to pay penalty of feeding 60 people or fasting for 60 days consecutively? Does it count as feeding 60 people if I just pay to charity online? Please make dua for me to give up this disgusting habit.

I always wanted to be a stay at home mum and raise my kids. I had three children over seven years and they all passed away soon after birth. Since we're not planning to have more children at the moment and we live alone in a western country I was thinking about having a career to be more productive and to distract myself and keep myself busy. We are not in any financial difficulty and my husband earns enough for the both of us. I cover my face (niqab) but would have to remove it for job purposes. Would this be permissible?

Salaam Sheikh,

I have a quick question is it permissible for women to dye their eyebrows dark brown?

JazakAllah

Is it permissible to occasionally listen to an audio of a woman reciting Quran? If the listening is done without obvious feelings of desire, in the Hanafi madhab.

Assalamualaykum.
In one of your answers to my previous questions you said that there was consensus amongst sahaba and tabieen that women can go out for religious needs and to visit parents. I wanted to ask that were some sahaba and tabieen of the opinion that women can go out to meet their siblings and other relatives such as aunts and uncles, just for fun? Or were they of the opinion that there needs to be a desparate need for them to go out to visit these relatives? Also if a woman goes out frequently to visit her siblings and aunts for fun, with the permission of her husband, will that be allowed according to the opinion of the sahaba and tabieen?

I read and also heard a scholar say that a woman cannot uncover her hair and other permissible body parts in front of mahrams or other women that are fasiq, immoral, there is fear of temptation and there is fear that they will describe you to someone else? Is this true and if so, how sure do we need to be that a mahram or woman won’t describe us to others before uncovering before them. Also by fasiq it means someone who openly does major sins but where is the Islamic evidence that woman cannot uncover before such mahrams and women. Furthermore, please tell how a woman can make sure a mahram won’t be tempted or is it enough to assume they won’t be tempted unless proven otherwise.

Assalamu Alaykum.
(Hanafi Fiqh)
I have a few questions about the awrah of a women. At home, if a woman covers her awrah infront of her mahrams yet the clothes aren’t loose and show shape, would that be a sin? I have heard it may be Makruh. Also, is seeing between the navel and knees of another women (clothed yet tight) a sin?
Jazakallah may Allah bless you.

Assalamualaykum.
I wanted to ask if it is permissible for a woman to go on holiday with her family and mahrams or will this be considered unnecessarily going out?

Assalamualaykum.
I read and saw videos of scholars saying the exfoliation is haram so I stopped doing it. However, this has caused small spots and blemishes to appear on my skin. Would it be permissible to exfoliate to maintain flawless skin?

Assalamualaykum,
I recently asked a question but needed more depth into the tafsir. I was told by a scholar that some sahaba, such as ibn Abbas at, and tabieen were of the opinion that the verse ‘and stay in your houses’ only applies to the wives of the Prophet SAW. I wanted to ask if it’s true that some sahaba or tabieen had this opinion because I have heard there isn’t a consensus in this opinion.

are women allowed nose piercings? i wear a hijab so my nose piercing will not be covered, is this still permissible?

I want to ask about gusul after haiz ...is it necessary to recite dua while taking gusul

Basically, is there any 2 rakats prayer after doing ghusl , because since ive had my periods I’ve read 2 rakats after ghusl because my mom told me , today i forgot to do my 2 rakats for ghusl and I searched on google about what happens if you leave your 2 rakats for ghusl but I haven’t found anything. And im scared if my ghusl will be incomplete without it.

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi Wa barakatuh. I want to know that is there any wrong with women learning how to drive a car and this act is performed in front of mahram men only. And she is learning it so she can use it for emergency purpose.

Can i become heena artist for brides (even for non Muslims)?