Ulamaa ID 06
Answer last updated on:
28th October 2009
Ulamaa ID 06
Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Al Jawaab Billahit-Tawfeeq
First and foremost, you need to realise that fornication (pre-marital physical relations) is strictly forbidden and Haraam in Islam. Sincere Tawbah is required as mentioned in previous answers (http://qa.muftisays.com/?60).
The entire relation for 6 years being unlawful and the girl in question deceiving her parents in such a manner will not make her parents happily give their daughter into the hands of such a person. Looking at it from an outside point of view, you can understand the mothers hurt feelings and the destroyed respect for her daughter.
We cannot contact the mother for this reason as her not being happy with giving her daughter in marriage to you for this reason is not against any Shar'ee ruling or common sense. However, for the sake of her own future and yours, the parents should consider you as then all relations with the girl will then be lawful.
It is absolutely necessary that sincere Tawbah is done by both you and the girl about your entire relationship which was against the law of Allah (swt). Thereafter, you should perform Istikharah to see whether you are right for each other for the sake of Islam and your future. Many things which we think we know is better known to Allah (swt) and we do not know what he has planned for us. Meanwhile, it will still be absolutely Haraam for you both to have any contact as she is not lawful for you without Nikaah.
After Istikharah, Allah willing, you will be inclined towards marrying this girl or moving on away from her for both your sakes. If Istikharah inclines you towards her then a proper proposal should be made again explaining that you no longer wish to live in sin, that you have performed Umrah, visited the house of Allah (swt) and the city of the Nabi (saw) and you cannot any longer live the way you did.
Allah knows what is in the heart and if all steps are taken for His sake alone then He will guide you towards the right path, right decisions and the right future for you.
And Allah knows best