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[Personal information removed]
I have been married previously and have a daughter from my previous marriage. My husband who was also married previously has a daughter too. Since my daughter married my husband's nephew with choice and he wanted his daughter to marry him, he's broken all ties at home and we've had no relations since.
I need some guidance of how I am to continued to live my life in this situation. Please be aware I have never asked for a divorce it has been my husband who seeks it.
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The original question has been edited so the public can still benefit from the answer.
| Answer |
Ulamaa ID 06
Answer last updated on:
14th October 2009
Answered by: Ulamaa ID 06
Location: London |
Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Al Jawaab Billahit-Tawfeeq
Respected sister,
May Allah accept your patience and reward you abundantly for all your efforts for the sake of others.
We can find guidance in the Qur'aan where Allah (swt) not only assures us that difficulties are from Him but also teaches us the prayer to bravely live through it.
لاَ يُكَلِّفُ اللّهُ نَفْسًا إِلاَّ وُسْعَهَا لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْ رَبَّنَا لاَ تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِن نَّسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا رَبَّنَا وَلاَ تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا رَبَّنَا وَلاَ تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لاَ طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا أَنتَ مَوْلاَنَا فَانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ
Surah Baqarah, Verse 286
Translation: Allah does not obligate anyone beyond his capacity. For him is what he has earned, and on him what he has incurred.
"Our Lord, do not hold us accountable, if we forget or make a mistake and, Our Lord, do not place on us a burden such as You have placed on those before us. And our Lord, do not make us bear that for which we have no strength. And pardon us. And grant us forgiveness. And have mercy on us. You are our Lord. Help us, then, against the disbelieving people."
Mufti Shafi' Uthmani states that these verses meaning-wise hold many virtues, benefits and deep meanings. Although the verses have been explained to be an answer to doubts which may have been created from verse 284, this verse itself holds a powerful message and guidance.
To help you and many others in many ways, reciting verses 285-286 of Surah Baqarah after 'Isha before sleeping will ease many hardships. Umar (ra) and Ali (ra) are reported to have said, "If anyone has any sense they would not sleep without reading these two verses"
Nabi (saw) said, "These two verses were given to me in His grace from the special treasures that lie beneath the 'Arsh of Allah (swt)"
We must understand that difficulties no matter how difficult are a form of mercy from Allah (swt).
In one narration it is stated that the most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best, then the (next) best, one is afflicted in accordance with his Deen. If his Deen is firm then his affliction is hard, and if his Deen is weak then his affliction is light. Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins.
A Hadeeth of Bukhari states, "Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity"
In a Hadeeth of Tirmidhi related by Abu Hurayrah (ra), the Prophet (saw) said: "Hardships continue to befall a believing man and woman's body, family, and property until they meet Allah (swt) burdened with no sins."
There are more Ahadeeth with similar meanings available where the we are reminded that the love of Allah (swt) is so great on some Muslims that their sins are wiped out in this world through difficulties and hardships. No man or woman is pure from sin and nothing we can do can ever be sufficient of forgiveness but that Allah forgives us through His Mercy alone.
This knowledge and belief itself is a powerful source of bearing hardships.
From what you have explained, it seems that your husband is adamant in his decision and has decided to break ties on personal hopes and dreams which are not in his hands but in the hands of Allah (swt). We can therefore advise that in matters of divorce and family ties, a Shar'ee Council, local Mufti or Imam is contacted where all sides can be heard and for the sake of Islam, a decision is made.
And Allah knows best --------------------------------------
Maulana Muhammad |
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