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Asking for a husband

Last updated: 25th January 2007
Question ID: #3651
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25th January 2007

Over the past couple of weeks I have got to know a man whom is of good chracter and religion. I have had no relations with this man, but I have began to develop feelings for this man. As soon as I realised these feelings for the man I cut off all connections with this man and I have sincerely repented. I have began to pray to Allah that he grants me a husband who is exactly 100 percent just like him, because I believe this man is perfect in every way and would be a husband if he was with me. I have not committed any sins with this man . is it permissible for me to pray to Allah for a man like this - or will this not be regarded as legitamate. Please answer my question as soon as possible. Thank you

Ulamaa ID 09
Answer last updated on:
12th June 2007
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 09
Location: Zambia

Assalaamu'alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh.

Islam is a beautiful religion that instructs its followers to refrain from the cause so as to ensure that there remains no chance for the effect to emerge . Islam works to destroy all evils from the root. Therefore, Allaah forbids all those things that lead to the evil of fornication.

Allaah Most High says in the Glorious Qur'aan:
"And do not even draw near to fornication. It is indeed an indecent (shameless) act and the worst of ways" (Bani Israa-eel. 32)

The above verse emphatically commands man to refrain from indulgence in anything that may lead to Zina (fornication).

Associating with members of the opposite sex unneccessarily is the primary key to fornication. Had you never spoken to this boy, you would neither have got to know him so well, nor would you have developed feelings for him. But we always learn from mistakes. A person who falls does not fail unless he refuses to get up.

Alhamdulillaah you have sincerely repented from associating with him. Terminating all forms of contact with him is a mark of sincere repentence. Along with that you should make a firm intention of never having anything to do with him until and unless Allaah decides for you to be together under the rules of Shari'ah. You should also refrain from thinking about him, as this will only instigate whatever feelings you might have, whether they are satanic or genuine. If the thoughts come involuntarily you will not be sinful, but if you entertain such thoughts you will.
Reading the following dua constantly will inshaAllaah help you not think about him:

اللهم اجعل وساوس قلبي خشيتك و ذكرك

Transliteration: Allaahummaj'al wasaawisa qalbee khashyataka wa zhikrak
Translation: O Allaah, let the whispers of my heart be fear for Thee and Thy remembrance.

Finally, it would be best for you to ask Allaah for goodness in all matters. You might think that this man is perfect for you, but who knows in Allaah's wisdom, someone even better than him has been destined for you. I would advise you to read the dua of istikhaarah after every fardh salaah, and also try to perform two rakaats of salaatul istikhaarah, asking Allaah to decide what is best for you in terms of your deen, your life in this world and the end result of all your affairs. You can refer to the following link for the dua and method of Istikhaarah:

Even if you do not formally perform Istikhaarah, remember to always ask Allaah for what is best for you. Sometimes, what we may think as best for us might not be so in Allaah's perfect and absolute wisdom and knowledge.

And Allaah knows best.

Wa Billaahit-tawfiq.