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Marrying

Last updated: 4th November 2006
Question ID: #2974
Short URL: http://qa.muftisays.com/?2974
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Muslim in the NorthW
4th November 2006

 
My question is about marriying. Iam in my last year of college and am strongly thinking of marriage. There is one muslim girl in my school who I have been noticing who is very pretty but doesn't wear a veil. My question is, is it ok for a muslim man to propose to a muslim girl just by her beauty. Also my other question is, is there a way for me to tell to fear allah and wear a veil, without talking to her or is it ok for me to talk to her about this subject.



Answer
Ulamaa
Ulamaa ID 09
Answer last updated on:
12th December 2008
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 09
Location: Zambia
Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Al Jawaab Billahit-Tawfeeq

1. Marrying just on the basis of beauty is niether advisable nor sensible, as that beauty is temporary and will wither with old age.

* Abu Hurayrah (radhiallaahu anhu) narrates that the Messenger (sallallaahu 'alyhi wa sallam) said: A woman is married for one of four qualities. Either for her wealth, or for her pedigree (family rank and standing), or for her beauty, or for her Deen (piety). So marry a pious lady and achieve success. (Mishkaat ~ 267, Agreed Upon)

* Abdullaah ibn Umar (radhiallaahu anhu) narrates that The Messenger (sallallaahu 'alyhi wa sallam) said, " Everything of the world is worthy of (temporary) benefit and the most benefical (enjoyable) medium of this world is a pious lady." (Mishkaat, Agreed Upon)

* The Messenger (sallallaahu 'alyhi wa sallam) commented: "Do not marry women (merely) on account of their beauty...for it is possible that this very beauty may become the cause of her destruction. Niether marry women (merely) because of their wealth...for it is possible this may be a cause for her rebellion and mischief. Rather marry women because of their religiousness (piety). (Remember!) A slave, dark in complexion, graced with piety and noble character is infinitely superior to a beautiful, highclass woman of poor character." (Ibnu Maajah, quoted in Uswa Rasool Akram)

* Abu Umaamah (radhiallaahu anhu) narrates that The Prophet (sallallaahu 'alyhi wa sallam) said, "No man can derive more good for himself from anything after the fear of Allaah, than a pious wife; who obeys him when he instructs her, who pleases him when he looks at her, who fulfills his oath when he swears an oath (that she should do something within the bounds of Shari'ah), and who if he is away from her, safeguards her chastity and his wealth. (Ibnu Maajah)

1) From the aforementioned Ahaadeeth, we learn very important lessons:
-> When selecting a spouse, the most important thing that should be taken into consideration is piety and religousness.
-> Wealth, beauty and pedigree are all fleeting qualities.
-> A successful marriage and a successful life in both worlds is achieved by marrying a pious woman.
-> One of the most important traits of a wife is that she is obedient to her husband in all that he instructs her to do, providing it is within the limits of Shari'ah.


2. Although your intentions are sincere it is not appropriate for you to talk to her or write to her, as this could lead to something more. If you wish to advise her through your own sister, it could be done. But ask yourself why you are singling her out for giving advice to, from all the other girls in the university? As a fellow Muslim, is it not your duty to be equally concerned about all unveiled girls? You could compose an article on the importance of the veil and distribute it among the university students.

3. If the issue is only the veil, and she is otherwise religiously inclined, and has beauty along with piety, then you could perform Istikhaarah and take it from there.

And Allah knows best

Wassalaam.