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A gng to be bride

Last updated: 26th July 2006
Question ID: #2150
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26th July 2006

Im nt at all in a crisis to overcome the sitution of having relation with ma gng to be groom.PLS HELP.
Im 18 & gng to get married.I wear full purda & hence have no relation with men.How will i have relation with my husband?I donno anything abt SEX. How is it afterall?What will i do on the first night?Must the bride approach the groom first?must we uncover ourselves...our whole body... our breasts & private parts?Can we look at each other fully nakedSo must not we wear pyjamas or undergarment on the first night?I"M TOO MODEST AFTER ALL!!i cant imagine!Marriage is fast approachin...DO HELP!!!!!!ADVICE ME!ESP IN ISLAMIC POINT OF VIEW!!!
While bathing alone can we bath only with underwear... or even naked?What about bathing with husband?

Ulamaa ID 04
Answer last updated on:
24th August 2006
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 04
Location: London

Al-jawab billahi at-taufeeq (the answer with Allah's guidance)

When the newly wed couple come into their bedroom, firstly salam should be made and the following dua should be read:

'Allahumma in'ni as'a'luka min khai'riha wakhai'ri ma fiha wakhairi ma jabalta'ha alai wa a'udhu bika min shar'riha washar'ri ma fiha wa sharri ma jabalta'ha alai'

Tran: 'O Allah I ask you for the good in her and the good with which you have created her, and I seek refuge in you from the evil in her and the evil with which you have created her'

(Bukhari, Abu Dawud, Ibn Maja, Al Hakim, Al Baihaqi and Abu Ya'la)

Then after making wudhu, two rakaats of Salatul' Hajat must be performed, and dua be made for a good and happy life that Allah bestow them (the couple) with good and pious children.

Then they should engage themselves in some religious talk showing importance to the obedience of Allah's commands and , through wisdom and tact, become more free and open in the discussion, trying to discover each other's temperament. As sexual inclinations vary with every individual, the bride and the bridegroom will have to display patience with each other. Sexual union on the first night of marriage is not the most important thing between the couple. Their first intimate association gives them an opportunity to know each other more closely, to assess each other's feelings and attitudes. With some brides excitement, expectations or fear of intimate union brings about a reluctance in performing sexual union.

The bridegroom should regard this moment as an opportunity to show his consideration for her tender feelings, to demonstrate that sex is a secondary aspect of marriage and that her health and feelings mean more to him.

Sometimes, out of bashfulness or consideration for the brides feelings, the groom may also show reluctance to be sexually intimate. Then it is the bride's turn to display her appreciation and tolerance towards him.

(Taken from Kitabun Nikah By the Author of 'Gift for the Women' (Issues on Menstrual periods) Maulana Muhammad Ibrahim Palanpuri)

The husband and wife may bath together in nude but to cover oneself is best. This ruling also applies to one bathing alone.

And Only Allah Ta'ala Knows Best.