Source: http://qa.muftisays.com/?2131
Question ID: #2131
 
Question: Is it permissible to wait for Non Muslim Man
Assalamualikum Warah Matullahi Wa Barakaa tuu

I am mashallah a practising muslim who wears niqaab and am studying for an Alimah course. Mashallah my heart is wholly attached to my salah and quran, and to better myself as a muslim as best I can.
I am very confused about what I should do. I really want to get married to protect my chastity and Imaan and to follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah (s.a.w) I also want to make sure that I marry a pious person who adheres to Sunnah as much as possible. However I have seen two people and somehow I really don't think I can manage to see any more people to marry.

Primarily this is because at univeristy, three years ago I was friends with a non-muslim boy and I completely realise that it was haraam and I see that person as a complete stranger. He wanted to get married to me but I explained that he would need to become a muslim genuinely to marry a muslim woman. I have repented for ever having been friends with him. However in terms of contact with him I have sent him Islamic books, Quran CD, also have emailed him (and other non-muslims friends from uni islamic articles). I recently texted him (my mum encouraged me to find out how he felt) to let him know that although I have the intention to marry as soon as possible I havn't got the inclination to see any more people as I hold strong hope of him becoming a muslim. I don't know if this is Shaytaan whispering to me. He knows my passion for Islam and knows that he would have to be a strong muslim for me to marry him but he thinks it is a good idea I wait for him.

I genuinely would never want to marry him if he wasn't a practising muslim, so that is why I am confused about having hope for him.

Please advise me as to what I should do.

Jazakallah hu Khairan.
 
 
Answered by: Ulamaa ID 03 (UK)
Date: 10/08/2006 08:50am

In the Name of Allah, the Inspirer of Truth.
Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Jazakallahu Khayran for your question.

Our observations are as follows:
The relationship that you had with this non-Muslim was of a very intimate nature, bearing in mind that he expressed a desire to marry you. As you yourself have admitted, this relationship is not permissible.

The text message you sent albeit encouraged by your mother is profoundly wrong. Plainly, the embers of lust are still alive in you causing you to keep the door of this relationship ajar. You heart is attached to this boy. If he wishes to become a Muslim, he will do so by his own volition but by you making it clear that you will marry him, if he accepts Islam, you are mistily courting him which is totally impermissible. This contention is evident by your hope and profound desire that he will accept Islam and not wanting to see anyone else for marriage. You appear to be infatuated with this man and lust is clouding your decisions. Apart from being dangerous, it is impermissible and a definite ploy from Shaytaan to mislead you. What if this boy accepts Islam to win your hand in marriage and then along the line he becomes disinterested in Islam? How will this affect your life and those around you? These are scenarios not uncommon these days.

As a priority, sever all connections with this boy, no matter how difficult it maybe at first. This is a condition for Tawbah (repentance). Whether he wants to become a Muslim or not is his prerogative. The spouse whom Allah has written for you will come to be Insha-Allah Ta'ala, nothing can change that . You are complete strangers as far as the Shari’ah is concerned anyway. The past is gone and spent. You have your whole life ahead of you so invest life in pleasing the One Lord, Allah.

And Allah knows Best
Wa Alaykumussalaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh

(Mufti) Abdullah Patel
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