Assalamu alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Respected Brother

We hope the following points will be helpful to you:

Making Tawbah - A positive sign of a believer, after having sinned is the searing sensation of guilt. We must class Guilt as a blessing from Allah Subhanahu Wa ta'ala and a mark of Imaan. Stoke this guilt to keep yourself firm on the Obedience of Allah Subhanahu Wa ta'ala. Keep making Istighfar over past actions but do not mull over them to the extent that one loses hope - rather be positive and have hope in the Mercy of Allah, which is one of the salient qualities of a Muslim. However, to hope for the Mercy of Allah without making sincere Tawbah is mere folly.

Conditions for Repentance:

To stop the sin;
Sincere regret for the commission of sin;
Resolve to guard oneself from the sin;



Allah says in the Qur'aan, "Ask your Lord for forgiveness and then turn in repentance to Him," (11:3) and He says, "O you who believe! Turn in sincere repentance to Allah." (66:8)



Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam said, ?The one who repents from sin is like the one who never sinned.? [Ibn Maja (3240)] He also said, ?Remorse is repentance.? [Ibn Maja (4242) and Ahmad (3387)]



Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam said, "Allah will turn towards anyone who turns in repentance before the sun rises from the place it set." [Muslim]

Severing all contact - As a priority, sever all connections with this girl (and terminate any other friendly relationships) no matter how difficult it maybe at first. This is a condition for Tawbah (repentance). Do not visit her residence, approach her, meet up with her and so on. Whether she wants to become a Muslim or not is her prerogative. If you wish to pursue marriage with this girl assuming that she accepts Islam then broach the subject with your mother and relay your feelings then progress further through families not thru direct personal contact. Make Mashwarrah (consultation) and make Istikharah (a 2 rak'aat Salaah petitioning Allah to guide one to the right decision. If you need details, let me know.). Realise well that you do not owe each other anything, that is to say, you must not feel obliged to marry him because of his conversion (or not as the case maybe). If you decide not to go ahead for whatever reason then forget about him. You are complete strangers as far as the Shari?ah is concerned anyway. The past is gone and spent. You have your whole life ahead of you so invest life in pleasing the One Lord, Allah.

Deception of Shaytaan - The Imaan in you is fighting with your nafs (inner desires) and hence the guilt. You should make much Shukr to Allah for these feelings. Understand well, that nothing can change your situation without your making a firm determination to make a change. Muster courage and keep yourself away from any Haraam relationship in any shape or form. By this I mean, don't be fooled with the "innocent" friendships - there is no such thing. All such relation ships come into the scope of fornication albeit to a lesser degree. Fornication and those actions, which lead to it, like touching, kissing, and embracing, and informal interaction are all major sins. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala states: ?Do not come (even) near to adultery, for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road to other evils? (Surah al-Isra, 32).

Marriage of Lust? - From what you are saying, it seems as though you want to get married, merely to fulfil the lust of sex. It is not permissible to get married simply to fulfil one's lust. One must get married and live together and not intend to live in separate residences. The question you have to ask yourself is how long will this lust last? When the lust dissipates, which it will undoubtedly then what will you do? Marriage is a contract between a man and a woman for life - realise this well. Allah wants us to take comfort from our spouses and not just in the form of conjugal relations. I suggest you read the following article very carefully:

STATUS AND RIGHTS OF A WIFE IN ISLAM by Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani -

http://www.alinaam.org.za/library/marital/srwife.htm

Peace and Tranquilly - Due to excessive sinning, one would feel distant from Allah. Feeling extreme agitation and anxiety are often because Allah removes tranquilly because of disobedience. Pray Qur?aan (with meaning if possible), remember Allah excessively. Make Allah your objective and commence good deeds and make an effort to obey Him in all facets of life. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says, ?Those who believe, and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.? (Surah 13:28)

Keeping the Faith - Everyone mustering the courage to change, will be plagued by fears of falling back into the habit of ?old sins?. May Allah save us! So how does one keep strong on the faith? It is well known that one is known by the company that they keep. Keep in the company of the perfume seller for one day and observe that, despite not buying one bottle of perfume, one would come out smelling of sweet perfumes. If one frequents the company of an ironsmith, they will come out smelling of smoke. Undoubtedly pious company kept will be a means of keeping firm on the Deen. Who do we make our ?bosom buddies?? Well those who will help us in our Deen would be the correct answer if we want to stay on the straight and narrow. Naturally, this will change our outlook in life and take us closer and closer to Allah Subhanahu Wa ta?ala.

Now, the question arises ?Who is good company?? Those who would remind us of Allah and whose company would make it easier to stay away from sins would be the obvious answer. Make friends, keep the company of those pious gentlemen who have connection with Deen. Your past will be firmly behind you for certain Insha-Allah Ta'ala. We also advise you to spend some time with the Tablighi Jam'aat for 3 days and to take part in the daily programmes of Taa'leem.

We hope we have gone some way to alleviating your predicament. If you have any follow up questions please do not hesitate to contact again.

And Allah knows best