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Relation with my son

Last updated: 30th August 2019
Question ID: #4274
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Assalamu Alaikum. I have 16 year old son from my first marriage. I have very different relation with him he is very close to me. When my first husband passed away sometimes I used to take my frustration out on him. Now as he is getting older he started understand everything now when I get angry on him he says I take my frustration out on him and always hit him for no reason. I just feel like he is going away from me. Is there any dua I can pray for my son?

In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

It is not permissible to vent anger or frustration through hitting one's child/ren. This is against Islamic conduct and character; the noble conduct and teachings of the Prophet ﷺ was mercy and compassion towards all age groups. The Prophet ﷺ has narrated, 'He is not one of us, who does not have mercy upon our young, nor recognises the honour of our elders.' [1]

Lead by example; treat your son kindly, praise and spend time with him, encourage him in worship, ensure he retains good company and continuously make the following supplication [2]:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

“Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the God-Conscious.”

And Allah Ta’āla knows best

06 September 2019 / 07 Muharram 1441 AH


 Jāmi`al-Tirmidhī #1920 and Sunan Abī Dawūd #4943

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرٍ، مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ أَبَانَ حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ فُضَيْلٍ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ إِسْحَاقَ، عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ شُعَيْبٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ جَدِّهِ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم:"‏لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ لَمْ يَرْحَمْ صَغِيرَنَا وَيَعْرِفْ شَرَفَ كَبِيرِنَا"‏‏ حَدَّثَنَا هَنَّادٌ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدَةُ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ إِسْحَاقَ، نَحْوَهُ إِلاَّ أَنَّهُ قَالَ: ‏"وَيَعْرِفْ حَقَّ كَبِيرِنَا"‏
(جامع الترمذي؛ كتاب البر والصلة عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم،  باب مَا جَاءَ فِي رَحْمَةِ الصِّبْيَانِ؛ رقم الحديث ١٩٢٠)

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَابْنُ السَّرْحِ، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي نَجِيحٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَامِرٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، يَرْوِيهِ - قَالَ ابْنُ السَّرْحِ - عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ:‏ "‏مَنْ لَمْ يَرْحَمْ صَغِيرَنَا وَيَعْرِفْ حَقَّ كَبِيرِنَا فَلَيْسَ مِنَّا" (سنن أبي داؤد؛ كتاب الأدب، باب فِي الرَّحْمَة؛ رقم الحديث ٤٩٤٣)

Sūrah Al-Furqān (25/74)  ~   (سورة الفرقان (٢٥|٧٤

Answer last updated on:
6th September 2019
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 17