Asalamu 3likom..i was in a relationship with a guy but we slept together and we were supposed to get married because we love eachother but now he says he doesn't and i want to know what to do..does he marry me and divorce me??but then my parents will have to know..or do i just keep this secret for me for the rest of my life and i don't get married at all?
Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem Al Jawaab Billahit-Tawfeeq
Respected Sister,
It can be clearly seen that what the brother did to you was not out of love but lust. If he really loved you, he wouldn't have taken advantage over you before marrying you and would suggest marriage. Then this way, the relationship would be halaal. The fact that he changed his mind of marrying you just shows his true colors.
You should endeavor to make sincere repentance to Allah because of the major sin you have committed. Make a firm intention to never again fall into this trap of giving in into any guy who gives his word of undying love and devotion to you as normally, it is all a lie and falsehood. Instead, make effort to keep yourself chaste and pure for only your spouse. This will be best for you and your partner in future insha Allah.
Now, knowing what type of a person he is, it will be best to cut off all form of communication with this person. Apart from being haraam to have communications with ghair mahrams, you will also be saved from him. Imagine if he manages to persuade you and woo you to sleep with him yet again and again? How would you feel?
This is where we can see the beauty of Islam whereby anything which leads to fornication is prohibited. To avoid things such as premarital sex. Usually, once the man has had his taste of the girl, he will dump her since he has taken advantage of her. He gained pleasure but the girl lost her virginity and dignity. The girl will be so heart broken that she feels there is no point in living any longer. She then resorts to suicide (may Allah save us).
You do not need to marry the person because he has slept with you nor do you need to disclose this secret to anyone. Rather, you should marry a person whose deen is good. This type of a person will insha Allah cherish you as much as possible because a person who has deen in him, will try to accept other people's faults even if it be with their spouses. Insha Allah, because of your sincere taubah and determination to live a purer life, Allah will bestow you with someone who is much better.
So, make lots of dua to Allah for a pious husband. One who will be able to guide you towards the right path and piety insha Allah. Always have trust in Allah that Allah will forgive your sins so long as the taubah was sincere.
