Ali
1
Brothers i may have given a 1st divorce to my wife and i am confused as well please advise
for context - years ago my father out of nowhere said to my mother i give you my first talaq now. Because she speaks very rude to him
anyway i was very angry at my wife as she was rude to me and recently shes been quite aggressive i do so much for her but i feel the appreciation isnt there, i try make her life easier shes a very good wife we have children overall i am happy with her but recently shes been not as good - she always goes in a mood and iv told her i want peace and a good life
usually when she argues i say i think you never liked me so if you really want you can leave me and find someone better (immature i know) but deep down its like a threat not saying i want you to go an marry someone else- shes not very loving but thats her nature....
anyway usually i say to her youve gone quite rude and the way you speak to me sometimes and make my life abit harder than it is better you jus leave now and go to your mums house but its always a threat never you leave now
today.. i said to her if you keep carrying on 'like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now'
now i was angry but i dont think this is a 1st talaq, i still think this is a threat of talaq
but she is saying that after that i said 'which i will give you now' i wasvery angry i do not remember but i know i said- i dont think this is a talaq as i nevet said this is your first divorce etc
' like my father i wil not hesitate to give you your first talaq right now'
i did not say you are divorced for ever, or say you are divorced three times, or said i give you talaq, but i said like my father i will not HESITATE to give you a talaq right now (or 1st talaq right now) nor did i say i give you the first talaq now?
if i said what i said ' 'like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now'
2 if i said what she is saying i said ''like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now, so ill give you it now) but i did not say so here is my 1st talaq
worst case scenario if she has got her first talaq, shes in her idda now, if i say to her i am taking you back or be intimate with her is this reversed? i will do both and never mention the word talaq ever- or tell her to go to her mums if she wont improve her attitde( the only time i tell her to go home or leave me is based on the fact if she wont stop being rude etc)
obv i have learnt my lesson - to do these threats, or talk about talaq, no matter how angry i wont mention it but just upset and feeling paranoid? overall these words were used as a threat never in my mind i wanted to divorce her because i love her....
In short-
If i said ‘like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now’
Or what my wife says (i was angry and do not remember) i said like my father i will not hestiate to give you the first talaq right now which i am going to give you now
Throughout this the intention which was made clear to her was on the basis she does not change moving forward at not any point i was thinking of giving her the first talaq
