Divorce

Asalamualaikum you helped me a couple of weeks ago and provided so much relief and happiness when telling me all them instances of divorce are not divorce. I’ve kept quiet and not argued with my wife and stayed silent when there is miscommunication. Unfortunately despite this my doubts slowly return and I ignore and ignore but new scenarios from the past before I contacted you, enter my mind which I try my best to ignore but it lingers and affects me. Please can you tell me the rulings according to the majority or hanafi. 1)The first is the fact that when I stated them scenarios where I thought I had given my wife implicit divorces even though you confirmed none of them were of such, I sometimes incase said “ I take you back” . Just as a precaution. Back then I was aware they weren’t divorces and was more strong minded and knew for sure they weren’t and definitely knew my intention, but now I think does the precaution do anything. I’m not sure how many times I’ve done it and don’t remember the amount but just wanted to confirm if the precaution does anything. 2)Secondly my wife was listening to music of a singer she liked when she was younger. She was insisting how it doesn’t matter as she doesn’t like them now or anything. Unfortunately I was insecure and I quickly said with 0 thought “if you go and look for anyone music that you were attracted to I’ll leave” instantly she asked what I meant and I clarified not divorce instantly. Now I’m thinking everytime she goes and looks for it, is it a divorce? Also what if it plays in the store or it comes on the phone in the background by accident or someone plays it in the car and she listens does that do anything. My intention at the time was truly nothing when I said it. I imagined her on her laptop going and searching for it I didn’t think of in the gym or store or it playing in the background and her listening to it, but does it still count. Sometime my mind strongly tells me my intention was leaving the house for like an hour but then a small little annoying doubt is telling me what if it means divorce. But in the end I don’t even know I said it with such little thought and so quick to end the insisting. 3)Another scenario was me saying “if you have done this in the past I will leave” referring to her doing something inappropriate. She said she hasn’t or truly doesn’t remember and is now doubting herself . Does this do anything from her not knowing or if she remembers she has does it? Again my intention is like the scenario above with the music, I truly don’t know but my mind is leaning towards leaving temporarily in annoyance. But my mind races back and forth and I have no idea of my intention. 4)Other times when she is annoying me or not picking up the call on purpose. I have texted her “you are provoking me” again unsure of intention but leaning towards just letting her now she is pushing me to potentially say something stupid like i said in the past on accident without thought and us stressing whether it’s a divorce or not. When she had been rude and unapologetic or physical i said “watch what i do” again very unsure of intention maybe I threatened to hit her back if she kept hitting me or very unlikely divorce I’m not sure but its like I don’t even think of divorce during the words, but after my mind automatically tells me I meant that randomly, even tho my heart tells me not at all, and how I could never divorce her over things like this if I looked back at it. 5. when with my older sister, my sister said “ at work,some wives get told by random men that they look good in a certain lipstick so the wife go and wear it to work the next day behind their husband back to impress the colleague at work” I laughed and replied “if my wife did that ide leave” whilst my wife was there. I thought of my wife doing it in my mind and it disgusted me. I think it was to let her know my displeasure of the scenario or maybe to threaten her, or maybe leaving, or mean legit leave her alone for a day to teach her a lesson, but I’m not sure, But now I’m thinking (even though my wife isn’t the type to do that) if she did do the lipstick thing would the divorce happen? And does this apply to anything, like clothes or hair or makeup even though the scenario was about lipstick. I know this is all ridiculous and immature and since your help I’ve taken steps to control tongue learn deen better, and pray to be a man even more . But old past scenarios play in my head, I ignore it keep busy take my wife out go out with friends, but I see something on TV about a woman being divorced or something and it just reminds me and I’m like what if my wife is too. It all comes rushing back. I read your answers again and again and it helps. Then I think what if to different scenarious is there are different rulings and I need to tell the mufti the exact specific scenario. Please help me once more in this, again sorry for wasting your time this would be a great help.