Marriage - Issues
18th October 2024
Assalamu Alaykum
My husband is an Alim and he stays up until 1pm on his phone everyday. He comes upstairs only once a week to fulfill his needs and then goes back downstairs to continue on his phone. I feel my rights are neglected and makes me feel worthless.When I quarrel regarding this he says that he fulfills my needs atleast once a week so it’s sufficient . He doesn’t give me any other time in the week apart from that. Please can you kindly guide me on this.
Jklk
Marriage - Issues
19th October 2024
If my husband has married me as a secret 2nd wife and i now want to have my full huqooq, what should i do? He is afraind that his 1st wife will be upset and families will be ruined.
Marriage - Issues
5th October 2024
Asalamualaikum, please may you reply as soon as you see this. I have extreme waswasah which affects me every single minute (or every couple of minutes) every day (not an exaggeration) to do with the d word, this happens in prayer, zhikr, sleep, eating food, doing anything with my wife, literally anything. It happens all day everyday.
I used to be active, physically and mentally and thought if you have these mental problems just exercise or just be put in Africa or Palestine and live the life their living , and then see if you worry about OCD when your fighting for food or survival etc, but now it’s affecting me severely. Alhumdulillah i got married March 4 2024, at 20 years of age, it was with a woman I was in a haraam relationship with but I wanted the haraam to go and married during university and did a lot of night shifts (patrolling as a security guard) to make ends meet Alhumdullilah.
My waswasah got really bad regarding “d” word. I can’t even say anything unrelated to it which starts with “D” or “T”or anything without thinking about it. The conditional statements run in my mind every second. For example- a man can just be asking a normal question, whether angry happy or whatever, and in his head after every statement he makes ever, the end bit “or d word happens” or the actual “I d word you” or “she is d word” literally is always in my head or it’s just the “d” or “t” word on its own. Literally any possible d word statement you can think off is always in my head, and it is every moment.
I kept consulting mufti’s and imaam asking questions and they eventually block me, stop answering or they may go to study in another country so I can’t really contact anybody. I kind of just (although unreliable) just put my problems into chat GPT and go with that. May Allah reward all these Mufti’s/ Imaams who dealt with me, the problem is, I ask questions and it’s all good that they answer. They all give guidelines. But the problem is new scenarios occur which I think “oh I need to tell them this” deep down I know it doesn’t do anything but I just have a compulsion to ask.
I have always have OCD now that I think of it, my mum was a single mum before she remarried, and I used to do dua for her for ages naming all things that could possibly happen, I would list them all as a young kid in my hands till my hands hurt to make sure if I do dua for every single thing, a bad thing won’t happen to her when she goes to study or anything, I would later stop doing this and it would be very minor and would be about cleaning and then other small things like sorting out stuff, I grew up and now it’s come to my marriage. I also believe most of my family have OCD, and a guy related to me actually died in Ramadan because of OCD and the medication he took. Everyone in my family just ignores it though to be honest.
All these imaams and mufti’s tell me to ignore it, they give me zhikr to read and tell me to increase my knowledge, I do this but it’s hard. One imaam also did ruqya. They also tell me that under waswasah nothing counts which is all well.
Problem is sometimes I think these things without waswasah, I think these thoughts/ statements myself, or I think that I think them myself and I’m worried if the questions below do anything. I’ve done some research and want to know if my knowledge is correct-
Nowadays, I just sit down in my room or anywhere and think, I have bitten my tongue so hard I feel my adult teeth slowly getting weaker like they are about to fall out. Just to stop myself doing anything.
Please don’t answer these according to waswasah, these are all hypothetical scenarios that I would please want answering as if it’s a man with intention (or not) according to what I’ve written in question. Jazakallah.
What does not count-
1- if a man maybe upset or angry or something, and thinking about d word or imagining a scenario which he intends in his head. And god forbid he accidentally absentmindedly OUT LOUD say the full sentence whilst thinking of the scenario, even though he Didn’t mean to verbally say it, it doesn't count? Even if his wife is there?
2- Am I right in believing, If a man INTENDED D WORD by mouthing the entire explicit words of d word but there's no like sound produced, even tho ur lips tongue and mouth moved, it doesn't count? Even if your wife/someone saw ur mouth?
3- With intention of d word by this- does physical actions not count? Such as like a man pressing an implicit word on a screen, like a man pressing (not typing), the word “cancel” on his phone as his wife is there with intention of thinking he’s “cancelling nikkah” or slamming something like the door or shutting door with intention of d word by doing that?
4- if a man intentionally with the intention of causing a d word by doing this- thinks of explicit words/ statements such as full "T word" or "t word is given* or "I (explicit word) you" or anything. And intentionally moves tongue before he thinks it or during thinking it or after thinking it, doesn't form words, and what if he maybe forms first few letters with tongue? Does this not count?
5- what if a man Purposely thinks of d word with intention of issuing d word through statements/ sentences in his mind, as his tongue moves as he’s saying other words in normal conversation, or whilst he’s eating/ talking/ praying, or looking/talking to wife, but not saying them actual words.
6-If a man intentionally expresses the full rhythm of an explicit sentence related to divorce, like "| divorce you," "You are divorced," or "If you do this, you are divorced," or anything type of d word statement, and if he intended d word by doing these-
-biting tongue down and the tongue moves in rhythm with explicit sentences as it's bitten down
-biting tongue down in rhythm with explicit sentences, biting down harder or lighter in rhythm,
-breathing in/out through his nose and or mouth, making breathing sound in rhythm,
·-making noise in rhythm with no word through mouth.
-swallowing in rhythm with sound,
·- moaning in rhythm with sound.
-moving his mouth in rhythm with sound.
-licking/ biting teeth with sound in rhythm of words.
So if he intended d word by doing any of these in rhythm of explicit statements, it doesn’t count as he’s not actually saying words?
7-if on purpose someone keeps saying out loud "wallahi nothing happens" to waswasah, whenever the thoughts come and in head as it's said, HE DELIBERATELY THINKS THE THOUGHT "d word happens" comes to his head as he verbally says "nothing happens", is this also invalid as its a thought?
8- Saying incomplete phrases for example- if a man says “if you do this you are d word” and he thinks this statement and only says out loud the letter “D” and the rest is in his mind.
Or he is going to say “ I d word you” and he only says out loud “I” and the rest is in his head.
9- saying "ta ala" in namaaz, or any word, and thinks of the EXPLICIT word TO to compare as hes saying it. Such as comparing to T word.
Also saying “ignore” and as he says it he thinks “if this happens then d word” as he says it same time to compare what he’s saying to what is in his head.
Also said out loud “ ignore” and compared with with d word only in his head.
If a man intended d word by doing this (comparing what he’s saying to d word statements in his head). would it also be invalid as it’s not the full word?
10- Also I just wanted to know, l've never had intention or ever will but-
if someone is saying "Wallahi I'l never leave my wife no matter what” to himself as an oath, but in their mind they are also thinking of negative scenarios involving her as their mouth is moving saying oath, and as they are saying it, they know they would d word for them scenarios, is it d word even tho he knows he's lying as he's saying the oath? But doesn’t express the fact he would for them scenarios?
11) am I correct in believing the only possible way any d word can happen is by -minimum sound is so that the speaker can hear himself clearly? If not nothing else counts even with intention?
12. wife threatens to leave husband if he does something again she says “I’ll leave if you do this” and if the husband did the physical thing with intention of d word? Does it not count?
13. Same thing as number 12 but he does the thing without intention of d word rather he’s just annoyed at the threats. Does it not count?
14) when having these thoughts in your head- like “if I do this then ….” If the husband has these thoughts so he repeatedly does something or he avoids something again and again.l
Depending on the thought, For example a man may think “if I don’t ask my wife to come in house she is d word….”
So he keeps asking her to come in verbally (without saying the rest) if she doesn’t come in does nothing happen?
15. also what if a man had a thought “if I do this then…” and he then did the thing which is opening his mouth and touching his teeth with his tongue and got worried he had a conditional thought about doing it and he did it. He then opened his mouth again to check how he did it? Does this not do anything?
16. When trying to ignore thoughts he decided to not keep his tongue bitten so he let it free. He then has thoughts and keeps his tongue still because he’s scared soemthing could happen if it moves (like he’s saying something) and it moves does anything happen if he’s unsure if it happens on purpose or not.
17 If a man moves his tongue (without forming any words? with intention of causing an d word by doing that, does nothing happen?
18. What happens if a man tells himself he has no intention of d word in his head, his wife and him are happy on a drive, no issues. He goes to lick his teeth and has no thoughts in his head as he usually does. He then in the moment has a weird feeling (no thoughts no words) as he’s licking his teeth as if he does have intention of d word by doing this. Just a feeling inside him like he has intention by doing that? Does nothing happen as nothing is said or anything?
19- if a man says the word “conditional divorce” or just “ divorce “ in presence of his wife out loud with no intention, does nothing happen?
Also as I typed this and I typed “presence of his wife” and image of my wife popped up in my head? Again do thoughts like these do nothing ?
20-I was talking to my friend about relationships and a girl who he was with and who I was trying to push her to marry and make it halal,
and I said, “ You should never leave each other unless it's really bad” Then I got scared that it might be a conditional statement, so l added, “Even though even then you never leave””
I was also about to say, “You have done bad things but treated her good, but if you did bad things and treated her bad, then it makes sense that she isn't with you” Could either of these be considered a conditional divorce statement, and do they have any effect? , the condition potentially being the relationship being really bad or doing bad things and treating bad.
21. I once had the thought “if I don’t cheat on wife then d word” As I had this thought I was about to say the word “despicable” as these thoughts are despicable. I only ended up saying the letter “D” or I breathed out the letter D through my nose in rhythm of its sound. I don’t know which. So basically I’ve now had this thought and somehow expressed the letter D through my breath or whatever and I get terrified. I then the next day signed up to multiple dating apps to cheat ( I know extremely stupid) but then I realised the d I somehow was gonna express (which I’m not sure of I said or breathed out) was actually the word “despicable”. I also realised if a man says an incomplete phrase even with intention , such as he’s about to say d word with intention but only says letter d, it doesn’t count. So I started deleting all the apps and accounts.
I’m worried because:
22- When I made my bio or messaged women, I didn’t mention straight away, That I’m married on the apps or on some apps i didn’t mention at all. Does this do anything ?
23- When I deleted the apps they asked me the reason I’m deleting it. I simply chose the option which said “too many fake accounts” or “bots” does this do anything ?
24- I’m worried because on one of the apps they asked me why I want to delete, they gave 4 options which are:
Found/in a relationship
Billing issues
Dissatisfied with service
Other
And I don’t know which one to choose for this app.
My question is which option should I choose without causing anything ?
Thanks for your time and effort May Allah out you in the highest ranks of jannah in truly suffering and half the stupid things I’ve done in my thoughts is just tiring. I’m looking for OCD treatments etc but they take a lot of time to diagnose you or anything.
Jazakallah for answering.
Marriage - Issues
5th October 2024
As-salamu alaykum,
I seek guidance regarding the validity of my marriage. I am a Muslim man married to a Christian woman. Before our marriage, when I was not a practicing muslim, we engaged in zina (pre-marital intercourse).
Upon learning about the fiqh of interfaith marriages, I discovered that a Muslim man is not permitted to marry a non-chaste Christian woman unless both parties sincerely repent.
We attempted to rectify our situation by ceasing sexual relations and repenting before marriage. However, we continued to meet without a mahram and maintained physical contact (hugs, kisses) without sexual acts thinking that that is not fornication .
We have now been married for almost a year. During this time, I have started praying regularly and striving to follow Islamic teachings more closely and trying to bring my wife closer to embracing islam.
As we consider having kids, I am troubled by doubts about the validity of our marriage. I question the sincerity of our repentance, especially considering our continued meetings without a mahram prior to marriage.
I humbly seek advice on how to address this situation and ensure the validity of our marriage in the eyes of Allah.
Jazakom Allah khair for your guidance.
Marriage - Issues
29th September 2024
If a nikaah has happened but consummation didn't take place and that couple sit in a dining room which is usually accessible by everyone. The event goes out like this:
1) couple are in the room with the slightly opened door. People are in the house and that couple are not assured privacy. Brother of the husband enters the room without permission and the husband asks him to go out. Then either the husband closed the door without locking it or he left the door opened slightly.
2) brother after a few minutes again enters the room without permission. Husband then asks him to go out and closes the door without locking it. People were still outside.
3) after a few minutes mother of the husband knocks the door and the husband opens it and says the door is not locked. Mother then leaves the room while keeping the door open and says keep the door open we won't disturb you guys. But people were still outside and there was always a fear of someone entering.
Please let me know if this is khalwat e sahiha or no. Note that generally people would enter this room without permission and there were always people in the house so risk of someone entering was always there.
Also let me know it is khalwat e sahiha and divorce happens after khalwat e sahiha but before consummation. Will it be talaaq e bain or rajee? Note that this whole event would have been of 15 mins
Marriage - Issues
29th September 2024
Assalamualaikum.
I am asking on behalf of my friend Dr. Mamoun and his wife. Both of them are physicians and married for about 5 years and have a 1 year old daughter. They are going through a lot now so I am asking this question on their behalf.
Their marital life is apparently healthy except some intimacy issues. Last week they started a quarrel over a small thing which turned into a big fight. At a point the wife took a sharp vegetable knife and put it on the throat of husband and threatened him to give her 3 talaaq. The husband said he won't be giving any talaq even if she kills him. Then the aggressively angry wife held the knife on her throat and said, "If u don't give me 3 talaq now, I will kill myself now, give me talaaq now" the husband thought that she might really cut her carotid arteries and die and he may get into trouble and in fear to calm her down He said, "Talaaq, Talaaq, Talaaq"
After that both of them calmed down. Husband said, I said that to save your life and not to fall in trouble. I did not mean it. Wife Said, I was just scaring you. I dont want a talaq.
Dr. Mamoun and his wife knew some scholars personally around them, they got 3 different answers from 3 of them when asked about it in details.
1. Your talaaq has not taken place as you did it to save your wife's life. You are good.
2. Your 3 talaaq has been accomplished and you cannot live together anymore. You must get separated at once.
3. Giving 3 talaaq in one sitting counts as one talaaq. You can take back your wife and continue your family
The husband got more confused when he started browsing the Internet and listening to different famous scholars giving different rulings.
They are sincere and want to follow what is right and not to get into sins. They don't want to ruin the life of their daughter as broken family kids are looked down a lot in their culture and many goes through mental trauma. They are really desperate to keep the family going in the right Islamic way.
Please advise the right way to deal with this situation. We would be grateful if you tell us why other fatwas are not right. JazakAllah khair
Marriage - Issues
29th September 2024
Assalamu aleykum
I am married two years now. I was Muslim before I met my husband but didn’t pray regularly and didn’t follow all rules. My husband wanted to marry me before he really knew me and before he started to practice Islam. After he got to know me, he started to send me Islamic books and really tried to get me to an Islamic circle. Well I really started to feel guilty, when I didn’t pray and stuff and wanted to wear a hijab. After one year we had our nikkah. I really love him and he helps me to be near to Allah and doesn’t do anything (I see) that is prohibited.
Before I met my husband I had a haram relationship also with a Muslim, but he wasn’t praying and stuff. It was a sad relationship for me and also with an heartbreaking end. He texted me afterwards, but I wanted to practice Islam. Since I met my husband and find guidance I didn’t really miss him. But now that I am married it’s the second time that I start to questioning what would’ve happen, if I had answered him. If I could practice Islam with him and I start to not feel attracted to my husband also to questioning my feelings towards my husband. I fight against my will to text my ex. I don’t even know, if I want to end things with my husband. But I can’t fight against those feelings anymore. It lasted one week now.
Please help me, if you suggest any Duas or have any other suggestions just tell me. I don’t want to lose what I have with my husband and also don’t want to lose the nearness to Allah. But it makes me so sad to never be able to talk to my ex again, to never be with him again.
Marriage - Issues
26th September 2024
Hi I was married and my husband is infertile so he gave me talaq so I can have child. Me and third person had temporary nikkah to have child we done online nikkah
My question is online nikkah is allowed in Islam ? And after this temporary nikah can I marry to my ex husband again as he knows everything and in shia religion temporary nikkah is allowed we ask some of the mufti he said these all are allowed so I’m not comfused ?
Jazak Allah
Marriage - Issues
10th September 2024
Brothers i may have given a 1st divorce to my wife and i am confused as well please advise
for context - years ago my father out of nowhere said to my mother i give you my first talaq now. Because she speaks very rude to him
anyway i was very angry at my wife as she was rude to me and recently shes been quite aggressive i do so much for her but i feel the appreciation isnt there, i try make her life easier shes a very good wife we have children overall i am happy with her but recently shes been not as good - she always goes in a mood and iv told her i want peace and a good life
usually when she argues i say i think you never liked me so if you really want you can leave me and find someone better (immature i know) but deep down its like a threat not saying i want you to go an marry someone else- shes not very loving but thats her nature....
anyway usually i say to her youve gone quite rude and the way you speak to me sometimes and make my life abit harder than it is better you jus leave now and go to your mums house but its always a threat never you leave now
today.. i said to her if you keep carrying on 'like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now'
now i was angry but i dont think this is a 1st talaq, i still think this is a threat of talaq
but she is saying that after that i said 'which i will give you now' i wasvery angry i do not remember but i know i said- i dont think this is a talaq as i nevet said this is your first divorce etc
' like my father i wil not hesitate to give you your first talaq right now'
i did not say you are divorced for ever, or say you are divorced three times, or said i give you talaq, but i said like my father i will not HESITATE to give you a talaq right now (or 1st talaq right now) nor did i say i give you the first talaq now?
if i said what i said ' 'like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now'
2 if i said what she is saying i said ''like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now, so ill give you it now) but i did not say so here is my 1st talaq
worst case scenario if she has got her first talaq, shes in her idda now, if i say to her i am taking you back or be intimate with her is this reversed? i will do both and never mention the word talaq ever- or tell her to go to her mums if she wont improve her attitde( the only time i tell her to go home or leave me is based on the fact if she wont stop being rude etc)
obv i have learnt my lesson - to do these threats, or talk about talaq, no matter how angry i wont mention it but just upset and feeling paranoid? overall these words were used as a threat never in my mind i wanted to divorce her because i love her....
In short-
If i said ‘like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now’
Or what my wife says (i was angry and do not remember) i said like my father i will not hestiate to give you the first talaq right now which i am going to give you now
Throughout this the intention which was made clear to her was on the basis she does not change moving forward at not any point i was thinking of giving her the first talaq
Marriage - Issues
10th September 2024
My wife has PCOS. We were having a heated argument on phone. She kept asking me for divorce on phone. I kept refusing her and then she asked to me for divorce again and i hung up the call. I gave it a thought and decided not to give her divorce. she kept on calling me and i was not picking her call. Then i decided to pick her call and says words to scare her. The conversation that i remember goes like this: Wife: "speak", "what happened" and then i replied "whatever you wanted has happened (in urdu)", next words i am not sure what i said but could be one of these phrases "we dont have a relationship anymore (in urdu)" or " i am not your husband anymore" she replied crying that please dont do this. then i am not sure if i said "you are free (in english)". then she started having panic attacks and i told her that i havent given it. I clarified that i didnt do it.
Please note that i am sure that i didnt have any intention to do it. Scaring her was the last resort for me because she is going through PCOS and eventually she starts hitting herself. I just wanted to shut her up and it worked.
Please let me know if its talaaq or not and if it is please let me know if it's bain or not. Please note that my wife only remembers me saying "what you wanted has happened" and i never used the word "talaaq". Also, after the phrase"what you wanted has happened" I am not sure what the exact words were but for sure I never said Talaaq explicitly neither did I ever intend too.
Marriage - Issues
6th September 2024
Assalamwalaykum
Me and my husband are both writing this to have formal agreement of context.
My husband had told me when before we got married that he would get separate housing for us an that him and his brother will both get married where we can have a place of security for the time being and then we can get a house. He and his brother are struggling to pay for the current house, but I want my own home being the wife and as it is my islamic right. I struggle living with my husbands brother and his wife as they feel privileged to spend more time around the house as well as me being the wife hearing backbiting of me and my husband for a long time as well as telling others falsehoods more so my sister inlaw then brither inlaw. We observe hijab so we refrain from mixing. We do get days alone at home however I don't want to live like it is not my home. To give more context both my husband and his brother are orphans and my husband says that they have no security other then this. However I want my islamic right and if not I am contemplating divorce as he has the mindset to live more like a wayfarer and he is very easy going and not so concerned about this sort of stuff but would like his own home when Allah grants it however I want my own home and space immediatelydue to what was told to me before marriage and wanting my mental health to clear. He has offered to separate rooms into kitchen, bathroom an toilet where he will build it with tight space but room sizes but I don't want to live like this living in the west. I want in a sense my own home not compromised space or structural change. We got married young and has only been couple of years but I can't stand this as it is affecting my mental health. My husband is supportive however says there are certain duties he has to fill and he will try his best, however he has also told me if I can not have sabr and stop always being concerned with the dunya - he has said I will need to fix my own issues as at that point he cannot help me as he believes at a certain point I as the wife need to get out of this state of mindset and he can only go so far as to being supportive. He has is flaws as well as myself but I struggle with understanding him and him not putting me as priority hoever in general we have a great relationship. He has made me closer to islam a lot and tries to refer to hadiths and the way of the life of the prophet, but we are not living in those times where I can have just a small space or live in those comdition - not looking down on it but i dont think many of us would want to. He reminds me how I am more privileged then 95% of the world however I do not feel this at all. Also my husband advises me to learn more of the deen instead of him saying it to me as he says I need to learn the deen myself instead of observing 'fake' social media. He also says that no matter who gives advice hadiths, quran or a scholar I will put my subjective feelings first no matter what. I can't deal with these feeling being the wife.
Marriage - Issues
26th August 2024
Assalamu Alaykum. My husband and I have been separated since March 2023. I asked him for talaq multiple times, but he refused and said I should apply for a legal divorce first, after which he would give talaq. I applied in May 2023, and in June 2023, he responded, "The respondent will continue without disputing the divorce." We reconnected in July 2023 while the divorce proceedings were ongoing but separated again in November 2023. The divorce was finalised in June 2024.
Now, despite his promise to give talaq after the legal divorce, he refuses, claiming it’s unnecessary since we are legally divorced. He is still trying to reconcile, but I don’t want to. I just want a clear talaq.
My questions are: Is the divorce valid Islamically? Am I Islamically divorced? Do I still need an Islamic divorce if we are legally divorced? I’ve read that signing the divorce papers might count as talaq, but I’m unsure if our brief reconciliation affects this.
Marriage - Issues
22nd August 2024
Dear Moulana,
I hope this message finds you well. I am reaching out to you as a person of knowledge, seeking your advice and guidance on a marital issue that has been causing significant strain in my life.
I am experiencing difficulties with the level of dependency my wife has on her extended family, specifically her aunty and cousins, who live nearby. It feels as though our marriage and her life cannot exist independently of her family. She feels the need to visit them numerous times a week, spending hours at their house, and insists on having an evening meal there at least once a week.
The dynamics within her family are such that the girls feel they can do whatever they want, however they want, and whenever they want, largely due to the absence of a father figure. They go out frequently and meet regularly, and I sense that my wife is inclined towards adopting this lifestyle. When I request basic things like not coming home late, not sharing every detail of our life, and maintaining proper hijab in front of her male cousins (who are non-mahrams), she perceives me as being overly controlling and strict.
I have expressed my concerns to her about not sending pictures of our daughter or allowing her to be on FaceTime with anyone outside of her immediate family (parents and siblings). However, she dismisses my concerns and believes I am being unreasonable.
For context, there is a history of sihr (black magic) in her family, which has affected both my wife and me. We consulted with Moulana Bilal Bawa saab, who performed his elaaj and recommended that she limit her visits to her aunty and cousins to once a month. Understanding my wife's close bond with her family, I proposed a compromise of allowing her to visit once a week for an hour, which I consider to be more than fair. Unfortunately, she does not see it this way and compares it to the fact that we visit my parents and siblings twice a week.
This ongoing issue has severely impacted my health. I feel unable to communicate openly with my wife for fear that she will share our private conversations with her friends and family. I am also concerned about the lack of trust regarding our daughter's privacy.
In an effort to set an example, I have distanced myself from my own family and friends, hoping she would reciprocate, but there have been no improvements. It feels as though she still wants to prioritize being a girl, cousin, and niece, rather than embracing her roles as a wife and mother. She believes she is fulfilling her duties as a wife, but the reality feels different to me.
This issue has caused me to emotionally and physically distance myself from my wife. I find myself thinking, "If my wife is not willing to listen and do what makes me happy, then why should I do that for her?" I fear talaaq (divorce) is close, but I do not want this to happen for the sake of our daughter.
We have attempted marriage counselling, but she was not happy that the counsellor suggested we put rules and limits on how often she visits her family.
The situation escalated to the point where we had to involve our parents, but her parents did not address the issue with her. I have even contemplated moving away, hoping it might help, but I fear it would only lead to more FaceTime calls to compensate for the distance.
I am at a loss and do not know what else to do. I am seeking your guidance to understand if I am handling this situation incorrectly and to gain insight into possible solutions.
Thank you for your time and assistance.
Sincerely,
Mohammed
Marriage - Issues
18th August 2024
Assalamualaykum mufti sahab.
I conditional divorce my wife if when she goes to pakistan and doesnt come back in 3 months than it is talaq. Intention of only one talaq and give her chance to rethink about her marraige and life with me. Marraige is cosumed.
1. She left on 27th may. Now if she comes back on 26th August or 27th august what is the ruling?
2. If she wants to come back but due to some reason she cannot. I consider is valid reason as she has to wait for visa for her mother. would talaq happen?
3. What is the condition of taking her back rujuh? New Nikkah or taking her back with witness or rujuh without witness?
Please guide
Marriage - Issues
18th August 2024
Salaams Adam. I need a big favour. Can you please ask a mufti in your area of my situation. If my divorce is void or not Due to our circumstances and how it happened.
I Divorced my 2nd wife about 4 weeks ago. We have been been married for nearly 16 months
We were both worried that our families would find out and both would lose everyone as they wouldnt accept it We both struggled sometimes and worried alot,when we were togather we have no issues between us.... financially I looked after her and was happy with her.
First time I divorced her. I told her she deserved better and we had no future. I regret telling her this. After I told her this she understood this and accepted it so she kept on giving me deadlines to go ahead with it as in days of when to do it by... I didn't feel right so I kept changing the day. Finally I caved in and gave it.
Within 2 weeks It was revoked because i kissed her and hugged her with desire so we got back together. I was so happy to carry on as her husband and we got intimate again in that time as husband and wives do... We were only together for a week before she made me do it again. Because in her head she was so scared to carry on saying our situation will still be same.
I honestly had no intention to go ahead. I agreed to go ahead to keep her happy. Even after the 2nd one we still talk daily. I am so torn over how it happened. She was scared at the time but wishes she didn't push me to do it. We both pray it's not valid. Cos the week leading to it we were very close Even on the day I said it,
We were kissing and hugging this was 15 min before I said it .
I feel that both of us were not thinking straight due to the situation and pressure felt of familys finding out
She feared the after effects of what would happen That was her reason at the time. I regret giving into her. I didn't have any intention at all. Now we are still talking everyday and regret it. Praying it will be void as the secnd time i was pushed in to doing it when i didnt want to give it . Inshallah if you can advise us. Jzk
Marriage - Issues
18th August 2024
Salam
Sheikh
My friend was married in pakistan in 2012, he came to UK in 2021, he did not bring his wife to UK but declared the wife in UK home office application.
He married to a Moroccon woman in 2024. Now he wants to apply for visa of her second moroccon wife.
As his first wife is declared in home office, he needs to submit a divorce certificate of first wife to apply for his second wife.
Is it allowed to make a divorce certificate (to fullfill application requirement) when practically he is not divorcing his wife in Pakistan as he wants to keep both wives.
Jazak Allah Khair
Marriage - Issues
27th July 2024
Aslma alekum i need a proper guidance about in which situation i am. A woman ( she is married with a Shia guy) and me working together and we like each other. she’ll filled a divorce because his husband is beating her and done 2nd nikaah without his knowledge and permission and the divorce process gonna be completed in July 2024. But unfortunately due weak our faith we done a sin . Allah pak forgive us. And now she is pregnant. we both are too confused what we can do soo we make it halal. We both want to be in nikaah soo this relation is become halal. But her idat is not complete because the imaam want a legal divorced status after he do talaq and the other problem is now she is pregnant with my baby. I need guidance what option i have, how we make this halal . Is this allowed to do nikaah in this situation or we only do nikaah after baby born And iddat .
Marriage - Issues
25th July 2024
Assalamualaikum
If I say "I seek seek allah's protection from my wife" with the intention of keeping my wife away from me. Is saying this considered divorce?
Marriage - Issues
10th July 2024
My husband and i got into a very serious argument where divorce was talked about we decided it would be best on divorce as in our argument my husband beat me and i said offensive words.
As i was upset i felt i could not live my life without my child as my husband would take him if we divorced.
At that moment i had thoughts of suicide and not living in the world I became self violant and said i hate everyone and i am not muslim as i thought if i am goimg to die anyway i cant be Muslim i said i dislike Allah and and i left with the intention of dying.
I was upset and couldn’t go through with it i repented and took my shahada and have deep shame and guilt do i need to re do nikkah?? as i am not classed as a Muslim i am so remorseful and pray Allah forgives me
Please guide me
Jazakallah
Marriage - Issues
11th July 2024
Assalamualaikum
If the husband has these intentions, will they be counted as divorce intentions?
1. Intention to revoke Nikah status but still love and want to live with his wife.
2. Intend to leave Islam and know that it will affect Nikah's status but still love and want to live with his wife. (And he returned to Islam again)
If these intentions are accompanied by the Kinayah word of divorce, will they be counted as divorce?