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Secret Engagement

Last updated: 29th July 2006
Question ID: #2163
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Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatuh Allah Wa Barakatoh.

Bismillah Ar Rahmanee Ar Rahmeen.

I'm 20 years old and I'm a 8 months reverted Muslimah, Alhamdulil'Allah. I still haven't finished school. I'd like to get engaged, my parents aren't Muslims and they don't accept the way we get engaged.
I'd like to go to an Imam for arranging an engagement. I'd like to ask am I allow to keep the engagement secret acrroding to Islam?

Jazak Allahu Kahiran.

Wa Alaikum Assalam Wa Rahmatuh Allah Wa Barakatoh.

A sister


Al-jawab billahi at-taufeeq (the answer with Allah's guidance)

An engagement is not a function rather it is only a promise and commitment. If you want to keep the engagement a secret from Kafir parents, it is permitted, as a Kafir cannot be a Wali (guardian) for any Muslims as they have got no power or choice of getting a girl or boy married, this ruling applies to immature and lunatic person (Wali). If a girl parents are Muslim, It is emphasized that matters pertaining to marriage be managed and controlled by the Muslim parents of the girl. The girl should not undertake this independently.

However, one must remember that engagements does not legalize and permit any type of communication and relations with the prospective spouse. They are still strangers to one another in that they cannot communicate with one another. Hence, Interaction between a non-Mahram man (a person whom marriage is allowed) and woman are not acceptable in Islam. It is better to perform the Nikah and then one can therefore, interact in a 'Halal' atmosphere.

And Only Allah Ta'ala Knows Best.

Answer last updated on:
15th February 2008
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 04
Location: London