Marriage - General

Salam Sheikh, is it permissible to use my mother's name and date of birth when doing Istikhara for marriage? The other family hasn't met me or my family even once, yet they performed Istikhara based on my name, date of birth, and my mother's name.

Additionally, someone interpreted their dreams and shared some future insights about me.

I wanted to ask if this is an authentic way of performing Istikhara or not.

JazakAllah

Salam, I did Istikhara on whether or not I will get married in this dunya. I asked generally i don’t have anyone to marry nor any prospects. I didn’t get a change in my life or dream etc. should I interpret this as I won’t get married in this dunya? On one day I did see a bad dream. I do have a feeling of despair going on should I just accept this as my reality and not make dua for it.

If one has sinned, like any one of the major sins. They have repented and made changes to their life. Are they allowed to marry? Are there any sins that stops a Muslim woman from marrying?

Selamu Aleykum,

I apologize for the long question but I have many which I cannot find answers to, I would greatly appreciate your help!

I am Turkish living in the US, living in an area with next to no muslims at the moment (we only have a small mesjid and all the women are married), and plan to propose to a pious Christian girl I know,� named H.� We have both spoken to each other about it and agree we are a good fit; elhamdulillah she is chaste, she respects Islam very much and has promised we will raise the children Muslim.

The first issue is in finding her Wali.� Her father unfortunately passed away two years ago, and she has no surviving paternal male relatives that know her well enough to represent her, she only has sisters, and her mother has two brothers she knows *at all* but I have read maternal relatives cannot represent her.�

I have also read that in our Fiqh, the woman does not need a Wali to represent her, which may solve the problem but I don't know how accurate that information is.

The second issue is in the proposal itself.�

First, Is it Sunnah to recite Khutbat Al-Hajaah when I propose or only at the marriage ceremony?�

Second, I feel I should�ask�her mother, as her parent even though she is not a Wali.� Is this necessary and should I�ask�her and the Wali together with H or can I�ask�them separately before, and�ask�H after I get their permission?�

Third, in my country we give lots of nice gifts as the mahr, which I would like to do, but I have read that you don't give a mahr to a kitabi in some fiqhs, what is our fiqh's position on this?

Finally are there any other sunnets or requirements I am missing?

Thank you so much for your help, barakallah

Selamu Aleykum,

I have a question regarding the Hanafi ruling on a woman of "legal peerage" and marrying without a Wali.

Currently, I am set to get married to a Christian woman, though I have not officially proposed because I have had immense trouble finding her wali/if she even has one. Her father unfortunately passed away a few years ago, and she has no brothers to speak of, being from an all-girls family.

She barely knows any of the men on her father's side of the family, and of her mother's, both of the uncles she knows even remotely well she does not feel comfortable to represent her; and, as far as I understand it, a Wali must know the woman well enough to make a proper decision for her well-being.

In trying to figure this out, whether an Islamic authority should preside as her Wali etc. I came to find the ruling in our Fiqh stating a woman of "legal peerage" could be married without the permission or presence of a guardian.

I told her about this during conversation, and she said she was relieved because she "did not feel comfortable with anyone she knew other than her dad being her guardian, anyway."

Knowing this, I've been searching for any other information to confirm if this is possible or not, as I want her to feel comfortable and accommodated. It seems in most legal respects she is my equal - ie of sound mind, adult, etc. but that is all I could find. I'm not sure if there is any information missing and - most crucially - I cannot find any information especially regarding her status of equality as a *kitabi* under the Shari'a for this purpose.

So according to the ruling mentioned, is she considered my legal peer? Does it apply as well to Dhimmi or is it only applicable to a Muslimah, and are there any details I am missing? I am trying to do this right and make sure we are right in the eyes of Allah.

Finally, if she is *not* my legal peer, who on earth can be her wali?

Jazakhallah Khairun

This is something that is causing me to lose faith in Islam. I understand that Islam allows child marriage and learned that it allows consummation with a bride who is prepubescent, even if they are not 9:

The fact that it is permissible to marry a young girl does not mean that it is permissible to have intercourse with her; rather that should not be done until she is able for it. For that reason the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) delayed the consummation of his marriage to ‘Aa’ishah. Al-Nawawi said: With regard to the wedding-party of a young married girl at the time of consummating the marriage, if the husband and the guardian of the girl agree upon something that will not cause harm to the young girl, then that may be done. If they disagree, then Ahmad and Abu ‘Ubayd say that once a girl reaches the age of nine then the marriage may be consummated even without her consent, but that does not apply in the case of who is younger. Maalik, al-Shaafa’i and Abu Haneefah said: the marriage may be consummated when the girl is able for intercourse, which varies from one girl to another, so no age limit can be set. This is the correct view. There is nothing in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah to set an age limit, or to forbid that in the case of a girl who is able for it before the age of nine, or to allow it in the case of a girl who is not able for it and has reached the age of nine. Al-Dawoodi said: ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) was reached physical maturity (at the time when her marriage was consummated).

Sharh Muslim, 9/206

واختلفوا في وقت الدخول بالصغيرة فقيل لا يدخل بها ما لم تبلغ وقيل يدخل بها إذا بلغت تسع سنين ، كذا في البحر الرائق .

وأكثر المشايخ على أنه لا عبرة للسن في هذا الباب وإنما العبرة للطاقة إن كانت ضخمة سمينة تطيق الرجال ولا يخاف عليها المرض من ذلك ؛ كان للزوج أن يدخل بها ، وإن لم تبلغ تسع سنين ، وإن كانت نحيفة مهزولة لا تطيق الجماع ويخاف عليها المرض لا يحل للزوج أن يدخل بها ، وإن كبر سنها وهو الصحيح

and this is causing me doubts because medical knowledge shows there is much harms associated with early intercourse and pregnancies. I read that today while child marriage may not be allowed, it is only a temporary change and not ethical one and the ruling still exits. Lastly, history shows past societies had limits, laws and advised against early consummation and pregnancies as they were aware of the harms and risks with it. Thus I wonder why does Allah who is all knowing allow something that's harmful

Dear Sir/Madam
Hope this email finds you well.
I would like to receive some Shariah Law advice and Guidance on what can be done given the individual situation I face.
Here is an overview of my case:
1. I am male, Muslim, age 33 years old.
2. I am in an unofficial relationship with a Christian lady, currently age 34 years old.
3. We have known each other and have been together in a relationship for almost 3 years now. We are not yet married as per Shariah Law.
4. There have been multiple occasions where we slept together (basically having sexual intercourse).
5. This time, however, due to a mistake with the condom (contraceptive measure), the lady has conceived. Recently, she did not have her period. It was supposed to be last week on 3rd March 2024, and today 10th March 2024 she has done the homemade pregnancy test, and the apparent result is that she is pregnant.
6. I took her to the hospital to cross-check the home test pregnancy results. The doctor has done an ultrasonic check, but she could not find the embryo yet. Today she has done the blood test to check for the hormonal change. We will be back at the hospital this Tuesday 12th March 2024 to check on the results.
7. At the moment, as a 33 years old male, I am capable of supporting the lady and the child if this is confirmed.
8. However, given the fact that I am Muslim and that, of course, my family will not accept children born out of wedlock, I need to proceed with the medical abortion. This is whilst knowing that the embryo did not fully develop and this happened recently, and falls within the period of less than 10 weeks from the time of conception.
I am not sure on what should be done given the above case. I would highly appreciate your advise from a shariah law point of view and any guidance on how to handle such a situation.
Also, I would like to add the following;
My mother does not approve of the lady because she is a Christian and she is from a far eastern Asian country. She did not get the chance to meet her, however, I made 2-3 requests to my mum to try and understand, but she declined all the time. My request to my mum to get married to this lady has happened well before, I got the news that she is pregnant because of a faulty contraceptive protection mechanism.
May Allah guide us to the right path.
Thank you in advance for your time and cooperation.

My brother lives in Saudi Arabia due to his job, and he has conducted the nikah with a girl from India. The nikah occurred via video/voice call in the girl's neighborhood Mosque/Masjid, with witnesses and the imam etc from both families present. The groom has fulfilled all mehr obligations. The nikah was accepted by both families, and the bride and groom confirmed their acceptance through phone calls or witnesses. Now, the groom plans for the bride to come directly to Saudi Arabia. Both the bride and groom, along with their families, agree, but the groom doesn't intend to hold a walima or ruksati ceremony. Is it acceptable in Islam for the groom to take the girl directly to Saudi Arabia, considering they are nikkahfied? And is their marriage/nikah valid?

Salam.
I will try to be very short as required. I am 21 years old, and there is a guy, also 26 years old this year. We both are Muslims. We want to get married, but my parents don�t agree. My parent's disagreement isn�t based on Islam but on issues like caste and status. I pray 5 times a day, but sometimes unfortunately I do skip my prayers, but I try to pray as we should. I wear a hijab and try to follow Islam as much as possible. I stay far from him so basically we are long distance. My parents don't agree with me marrying him at first it is because of the long distance and second is based on caste and status. My parents don't believe in love marriage as long distance. I am staying with my family in America but he is from Pakistan. I tried to talk to them but still they would disagree with me and use a lot of bad words that made me cry a lot. I know as a Muslim person, we shouldn't fight or talk back to our parents but still, they are not open-minded to Pakistani people because they're scared that they will hurt their daughter's heart. In my point of view, not most people will do the same things because I believe there is more love in marriage than fight
Is there any wazifa or what should I do to make our marriage approved by my parents?

My name is aslam and her name is afreen we live in different state and we are cousin and follow hanafi fiqh. So one day we decided to make nikah of us without wali
So my two frnd(A and B) with me as a witness and she is in video call she make a wakeel of her on a behalf and we do ijabo qabool with certain amount of mehr is my nikah valid plz tell as soon as possible

Is the nikah valid if the name of the biological father of the girl is not mentioned in case the brides father missing or unknown or for any other reason. Please advise. Is it permissible to use adopted father’s name instead.

I am writing to seek your esteemed guidance on a matter that has been weighing heavily on my heart. I am a Sayeddah and have been practicing Islam throughout my life. Recently, I have expressed my intention to marry a Muslim convert who has devoted many years to the practice of Islam.
However, my father, despite the gentleman's adherence to Islam, objects to the union on grounds unrelated to Islamic principles. He cites the convert's non-Muslim origin, Pakistani background, and lack of a Muslim family as reasons for his disapproval. I am struggling to reconcile his decision with Islamic teachings, which emphasize the importance of a partner's faith rather than lineage.
Given my Sayeddah status, I am particularly interested in understanding the conditions for a Wali in this scenario. How does Islam view a marriage proposal from a Muslim convert, and what guidance can you provide regarding the role of a Wali in such circumstances?
I am earnestly seeking your wisdom and expertise to navigate this situation in accordance with Islamic principles. Your guidance will be immensely appreciated as I strive to find a resolution that aligns with both my faith and familial relationships.
JazakAllah Khair for your time and consideration.

Assalamu Alaikum. Need help in finding out Iddah end date and hour-

A friend of mine lost her husband at around 10PM of Oct 23rd, 2023. So in Hijri, that should be 8 Rabi al-Akhar/Rabi al-Thani, 1445. Adding 4 Islamic calendar months + 10 lunar days, my friend's Iddah should be over on 18 Sha'ban, 1445, i.e., 28th Feb, 2024.

Is my calculation and denomination of the dates correct, e.g., (a) Is there any inaccuracy in denoting 10PM of 23rd Oct as 8 Rabi al-Akhar (since it's lunar calendar, will it be 9 Rabi al-Akhar)? (b) Will the Iddah ending be on 18 Sha'ban or 19 Sha'ban and at what hour?

There is a girl who wants to marry me. She is gentle and prays regularly, but she doesn't wear hijab. I told her unless she wears the hijab I don't want to marry her because I don't want to share any sin and moreover I don't feel comfortable. We have known each other for many years.
Am I doing the right thing? Or should I marry her and give her time? She said she might wear hijab in the future anyways but she doesn't know when. Please advise.

Hello, I’m a converted Muslim (Hanafi) and I live in Turkey. I converted to Islam 2 years ago (I was Protestant). I wear hijab and I live following all the Sunnahs from our Prophet (SAW). I met my boyfriend a year ago, we are so in love like we have never felt in our lives and we both want to marry. But he is already married and has 3 kids, ages 4, 8 and 13. He has been in an unhappy marriage for years just for the sake of the kids but he doesn’t want to divorce his wife because it’s something extremely bad from where he is and he could lose his kids custody. His family doesn’t know of my existence but his wife obviously knows that there is someone else in his life since he doesn't spend any time with her, they don't sleep together... she is fine with that as long as he provides for the family since she is a housewife. He is a wealthy and very generous man, and he cares a lot for his children and I know that if he would divorce he would still support them financially. My case is different since I have a job, but he also supports me a lot. He asked me to do the Nikah with me even though 2nd marriage isn’t allowed in Turkey. I want to marry him more than anything but I don't know what I should do. I'm in my 30s and he's in his 40s so we are not kids. Thank you

Assalaamu'alykum
I am a divorced women who now wants to marry but my family are not allowing me to marry the guy i have got to know as they have heard he maybe involved with drugs however there are also other sources that have said the groom doesn't have bad habits and isn't involved with drugs but my family won't accept that so are stopping me from getting married so all my walis are preventing me from getting married. What can i do? Can i marry without a wali and have the imaam as my guardian?

Assalamualaikum, me and this man want to get married but we have an issue which is my dad, so my situation is, a wali is needed for a valid marriage, but my dad, he is a disbeliever, and he’s been my abuser for my whole life, he’s tortured my mum, he’s controlling, he is hurtful, he is inhumane, he would never give permission for me and this man’s marriage, because he wants to choose and be in control of my life, he would destroy my life, and as he is a disbeliever, he cannot be my wali from the opinion i follow, so my grandfather has passed away, my brother is too young, the only person i have is my half uncle, but he wouldn’t give permission as he is on my dads side, he wouldn’t do anything to betray him, if i were to tell my dad about this, he will hurt me, he would never let me go, i am moving far away from him now, im going to university long long away, and i want to do a nikkah with this man, he is a good muslim, and a good person, and once i’ve moved completely away from my dad, i will tell him then, because he would not be able to hurt me physically, emotionally or financially, would this nikkah be valid? i’ll be able to have 2 male witnesses, but i’ve seen that a wali can be an imam or anyone from the community if i don’t have anyone else, please help us, we have tried for months to find someone to ask and make what we have halal, but no one has responded, please understand the situation because my dad has been my biggest test from Allah, and this marriage? he would never ever give permission, and he will ruin my life as well as my whole family’s and his family too

Assalamwuakaikum, I would like an answer for a scenario that I am currently in.

I am 19 years old and a student at university. I have known this girl for over 3 years and I have known her really well for just over 1 year. I really want to marry her and so does she want to marry me. Our parents spoke and although my parents were willing to meet and speak, her parents rejected on the basis that we are too young and that me as the man, I have no income yet and no house.

We really want to make things halal to avoid zina and her parents told mine that they say no due to age, but secretly it’s because they wish for her to marry a much older relative, Which she has openly said no to. Her father is not the best of people for reasons, he is against my proposal due to my geographical location (does not like area where I live) and is very stubborn.

Her mother has spoke to me and was the one to tell me to get my parents to speak to the girls parents. So she is understanding of our situation but her husband is very against it for what i believe is an invalid reason.

The girl has told me that she doesn’t want me to fully financially depend on me and has agreed with me the idea that we can remain in our parents home until I have graduated with a job. But her parents do not want us to marry simply due to age and not having a house (alongside judging me for where I live).

I would like to marry her with permission of an imaam and not make our family aware of our nikkah, and eventually they will accept, and at that point. Can we do another nikkah contract to avoid huge family arguments as her family is very culturally minded. I believe I meet the requirements that she wants for us to get married in terms of Mehr, providing for her when she wants me to, just the guardianship and witnesses is my concern and whether with this situation. Can I get nikkah done without the knowledge of her and my parents for this scenario? Jazakallah khair

I understand marrying children has been allowed but according to Imam Shafi or the majority of ulema, if there is no valid reason is it discouraged or haram

It should be noted that al-Shaafa’i and his companions said: It is preferable for fathers and grandfathers not to marry off a virgin until she reaches the age of puberty and they ask her permission, lest she end up in a marriage that she dislikes. What they said does not go against the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah, because what they meant is that they should not marry her off before she reaches puberty if there is no obvious interest to be served that they fear will be missed out on if they delay it, as in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah. In that case it is preferable to go ahead with the marriage because the father is enjoined to take care of his child’s interests and not to let a good opportunity slip away.



Further seeing as its frowned upon by society today, is it correct to say it is no longer permissible or valid

Hello i live in a country with mainly muslims(a lot of which are not practicers of islam only in name) but not ruled by islamic ruler and here the school of thought is mainly hanefi and as for the marriage as i heard some people say that the imams here consider the engagement ceremony to be enough for a valid marriage usually almost everyone gets married like that and you almost never hear anyone mentioning concepts like wali and other things not even imams. Personally i would like to marry with a muslim wali and with an imam and the witnesses but the problem is that my father even though he calls himself a muslim he never prayed or maybe he prayed ones when someone died not very sure and we told him to pray a couple times but he generally doesnt fast or provide for us as he was a bit sick years ago and always reasons himself that he cannot do things or doesnt feel well enough and stuff like that. I heard that people that dont pray are kafirs or at least who dont think praying is obligatory but for my father i dont know how to label him because he is a bit more on the side of illiterate and lack a lot of knowledge he only knows how to read or write but almost never read anything bht he recites ayyetul kursi, el fatiha and it is not like we have a court here for me to know if he can be my wali or he is a kafir personally i think if the judge were to threaten him to pray or lose his life he would probably pray. And also considering grandfathers brother or uncles etc they are either dead or do not pray or not believe except one uncle who prayed a few tines after his son died but maybe doesnt pray anymore or prays rarelly(not sure) and i dont know for sure if his son pray now and then or very rarely or hasnt prayed for since a time. In general neither my father or uncles or anyone would make a problem for the person i choose they wouldnt even care if the person i marry prays or not or how much practices islam. So can i take my father as a wali and have the ckntract in front of imam will that be valid or do maybe 2 contracts the secknd one taking the imam as my wali. Or do i need to check with my uncle cousin or uncle and if he prays take him (which maybe might cause some mess or talks with my father and people around expecially if the imams here might not say that wali are required or that i dont need to go to such lengths and my father is enough, and the fact that usually people here do not go labeling others as kafirs? Note that i still havent found a suitable person already struggling with that due to having a good job and only have a few friends who might help me with that but havent found someone yet since there arent many pracitcing muslim males who also have a good status or job. Also i heard that hanefi allows marriage without a wali but have to find someone of similar status which i might not be able to find or at least he will be in a lower status financially (which i am mentionjng in case my wali is not considered wali can i take into consideration this thought that i dont need a wali on that case)