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keeping brief contact with muslima for further marriag

Last updated: 11th March 2005
Question ID: #363
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Assalamu aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu Dear respected Elders, Me ,im Alhamdulillah a new muslim since 8 years. My wife she is Alhamdulillah a muslima from a muslim family, we?re married since 5 years and Alhamdulillah we have 2 children. I m very happy that ALLAH (swt) gave me the big bounty of an pious wife. Since about ? years I know a also new muslima girl wich has he same nationality with me. She is muslima alhamdulillah since she was 14 years old because of her cousin sister wich was married with an Arabian brother, who wa studying in our country. Now since few years they went back to his country and that girl is alone with her own family wich are hating islam very much, and are prohibiting her to be a muslima. In our country (Romania) we doesn?t have many muslims societies like in UK or EU. So for her it?s very hard to practice islaam. This is was she told me at the beginning. Before I became to learn her I had also intentions about to marry an second wife wich is coming from my own country. So from the beginning when I became to learn her I intented to marry her. At the beginning she told me that her wish is to leave in an muslim family where she can live her feelings, she told me that she wish very much to live according to ilsaam, to wear hijab, to fast etc. but with her family it?s not possible. So I understood that she wish to live according to islaam but for her its impossible. I was imagining that when we marry it will be easy for her, even if she doesn?t know to much about islaam, to learn islaam and to practice it because she?s wishing this so much. But I became to fear her?s god development in deen after some mails to her in wich I tried to emphasise her to follow the commandments of ALLAH s.w.t by telling her many fadhaail of many amaal, when at least I became to hear that she is loving to much wordly things like music , modern clothes etc. and for her an strict Islamic life will be close to impossible or even impossible in Romania. So I decide to tell her that in that case she continue to be my sister but if there not even the niyyat of nikkah (from my side) than any relations are not allowed for me and for her. So she told me that I understood her false and she wish that im not turning my back to her totally. Im feeling also that it was not right from me to have any relation to her. Please give me advise, ( also generally what should I do if I want to marry an women from an non muslims family, bec there I cannot follow the ordinary path ;asking her parents ) and make Dua for me and for all muslims Jiazzaka ALLAHU khair

Bismihi Ta'ala

It is not correct for you to have any form of relation with a woman you are not married to. It is concluded from the above-mentioned that to follow Islam in Romania would be very difficult for her, especially whilst living with a Non-Muslim family. For this reason, she shoud consider migrating from there, to a country in which she can practise and express her religious feeling freely.

It is also advisable that you get her into contact with a Muslim sister who can help her and guide her accordingly. This is essential. You should not keep in contact with this sister and leave it to another woman.

And Allah knows best.

Answer last updated on:
16th May 2005
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 01