Imaan / 'Aqaaid

I am very confused and lost. I have been trying to practice Islam to the best of my ability, but I have extreme ocd with regards to kufr and shirk and also other things in Islam. Near the end of 2022, Allah guided me to begin to practice Islam. I then would go and pray 5 times a day in the masjid, but slowly my OCD got worse. I would think the tiniest things are kufr; blinking, swallowing my saliva, all sorts of things. I would say the shahada every single day and repent for thinking i committed kufr. I actually decided in my heart multiple times to not be a Muslim anymore and stopped praying, but would always make tawbah and then start praying again. I then got so tired and decided to make hijrah to a Muslim land, to help me. I stayed for 6 months and all I cared about was islam; I was a practising Muslim, praying 5 daily Salah in the masjid,enjoining good and forbidding evil, staying away from all sins, lowering gaze etc etc. You name it, reading and memorising quran, charity. I then had to return to UK as my medication for ocd which I got from doctors ran out. Something ended up happening one day and I ended up thinking I was a kafir and ended up stopping praying,and I have lived like that ever since. It's been maybe 8 9 months, and I have stopped praying. I now have so many doubts about islam: I know that islam is the truth and that there is one Allah, but one of my overwhelming doubts is about hellfire for disbelievers;there is this feeling I can't get out of my heart which is that it cannot take place as it is too sad and difficult and scary for those disbelievers to be in hell for absolute eternity; but on the flip side,the reason I always would say the shahada was because of the fear that I MAY have committed kufr and I MAY die a disbeliever and go to hell forever, so that means I DO BELIEVE in it right?? I know rhat someone who has doubts is a Kafir right, and I genuinely have these thoughts like, is islam really true? Maybe it's not, and I WANT to believe islam Is true and that disbelievers WILL go to hell for eternity, but but don't know if I do... Guys,I am actually so lost.. I don't know if I am a Muslim as i don't pray at all, but I have said the shahada and I believe in islam, but I have doubts... I love reading the quran translation and i find islam beautiful and I love its justice and it makes perfect sense and I hate it when people talk bad about islam, i have sort of protective jealousy over islam... I was born a Muslim and in a Muslim household but wasn't practising most my life.... I don't know what to do, my main fear and concern in life is going to hell for eternity... but I struggle so much to be a Muslim, I have exited and joined islam seemingly well over a hundred times ( a lot of those times were probably not the case but a lot I probably did leave islam),when I was in the Muslim land, all I desired was to be a practising Muslim till I die, and i would make dua to Allah to protect me from all Kufr and shirk and I really just wanted to be a Muslim, its all I really cared about to be honest.... I've lost all my motivation and I have so many doubts and I'm so confused and far away from Allah and I don't want to go to hell either.... I also would REALLY struggle to make wudu and pray salah due to extreme ocd and intrusive thoughts, so even practicing islam was difficult. Also there's so many things in my head,i don't use my middle finger when picking up things sometimes as it is a swear word and I feel like I'm committing kufr as I may be aiming it to disrespect Allah, all this kind of nonsense is stuck in my brain. I even sometimes won't put my foot on the ground if the quran is playing in my house as I feel like I'm disrespecting it. I'm genuinely slightly mentally ill and am just demotivated,lost and confused. I want to be a Muslim and continue to be a Muslim until the day die,but i need serious help,so what do I do?

ٱلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ

I know that we will go to Jannah if our good deeds outweigh the bad deeds. This is my understanding. However, I can't relate this to the concept of getting close to Allah. I know that one gets closer to Allah as they try to perfect their fara'id, doing the optional actions, staying away from haram and remembering Allah constantly.
So does that mean we will go to jannah if we are close to Allah and not depending on good deeds. Because what if a person were to sin all his life and in the end he starts to get close to Allah, there could be a possibility that he has more bad deeds than good, so does that mean he goes to hell? Or is he judged accordingly to how he dies? Or is his past sins forgiven because he is on the path back to Allah? But what about the major sins that he might have done?

Also, is the levels of Jannah chosen regarding how close we are to Allah and the good deeds outweighing the bad deeds is just an entry to jannah?
Please clarify this, and also please educate me on the meaning of coming near or close to Allah (1), and on the balancing of the scales on judgement day (2) and also on the quote "It's all about the state that you die in" which some people who gives islamic talks say (3)

May Allah reward you Brothers.

Salam alaykum,

I recently decided to convert to Islam. The problem is that I'm in a very complicated situation because I think I have serious neurological problems. I don't know why, but when I want to say something I feel very strongly about (in this case, the shahada), my brain triggers some kind of mechanism that makes it very difficult. It goes beyond a simple stammer, I'm literally blocked and it can even take a full five minutes (no exaggeration, I'm talking about five real minutes) to manage to pronounce it. I can't hide how complicated it is, it takes up so much of my time and energy.

I know it's normally obligatory to pronounce the shahada verbally, but not wanting to experience this very complicated moment, I pronounced the shahada in my head. I thought that with my disability, my conversion would be accepted. Can you please answer these three questions:
1. Was I right to think that way?
2. Is my conversion accepted?
3. As regards oral recitations of acts such as prayer or repentance, can I perform them in my head because of my disability?

May Allah reward you for your efforts

Salam alaykum, I was an apostate and I returned to Islam a few days ago by saying the shahada sincerely. However, I have not repented. Has my return to Islam still been accepted?

Salam alaykum,

Let's imagine that a Muslim becomes an apostate. If he dies without having pronounced the shahada but sincerely believes in the reality of Islam, will he be treated in exactly the same way as a disbeliever who does not believe in the reality of Islam (i.e. both will be sent eternally to hell)? Is there ijma` on this question?

Salam alaykum,

I've been very affected by the fear of committing kufr for over a year now. And the problem is that this is not only related to waswas but also to real acts, let me explain.

I was born in a non-Muslim country and I'm currently a university student. I sometimes have to talk to non-believing students who make fun of religions and say very serious things about God. The problem is, I'm very shy, I hate contradicting others, I feel an embarrassment you can't even imagine. So I follow them in what they say reluctantly. I can't even fully reason when I'm acting like that, it's so difficult.

Once this event is over, I end up repeating the shahada until another similar event occurs. Then I repeat the shahada again, and so on... It's happened countless times, and it's very taxing mentally.

I would have loved so much to live in a Muslim country, none of these worries would happen. I'm really desperate. You can't imagine how scared I am of ending up a disbeliever when I don't want to, and ending up in hell forever.

My questions are:
1) If an event similar to what I presented above occurs but I don't repeat the shahada, do I become a disbeliever?
2) If so, will I be in hell eternally even if I sincerely believe in the authenticity of Islam?

May Allah reward you for your efforts

Salam, can you please explain in detail about qadr taqdeer..I’ve read that as a Muslim, we believe that good and bad comes from Allah. Everything happens for the best. My question is does this include hardships/ trials from Allah, and issues from people around me. So for example, if one was to get beaten/ abused, did that happen for the best or is that a separate matter.is one allowed to look back at certain hardships which may have been difficult, and be sad/wish it didnt happen. What about childhood traumas etc / the way others have treated me. Does being sad contradict a true believer. What are the limits in sadness/ looking back. If one was alone when they were a child, did that happen for the best and can I wish things went different

Asalamualykum one student of knowledge said that if you have doubt in aqeedah then you are a hypocrite, he said your not allowed to clear it from your mind and just ingnore it, but I know someone who gets wasawsa and he fights it off and he fears that he will go to hell if it is not wasawsa and it is actually doubt. He is really scared.

I the past he had a thought which he said it was in his mind for a period of time but he didn't realise it was from shaitan he repented from it once he found out.

He fears if this is not wasawsa and actually himself doubting he will end up in hell and is a kafir

Salam alaykum,

A non-Muslim friend of mine had a beard that he had let grow without trimming. One day, he trimmed it and I told him it looked classier and cleaner than before. These words imply that it is bad to have the beard he had before.

I'm afraid I've committed shirk, because I believe there are scholars in Islam who say it's obligatory to let your beard grow without trimming it. And I said that having trimmed your beard is better than not trimming it, which is contrary to what Islam says. And I was aware that this is contrary to what Islam says.

I believe that when we deny something from Islam, and we are not ignorant, then we are committing shirk which requires renewing one's faith. Does what I've done fit into this scenario? Do I have to say the shahada again? Is what I did haram?

Assalamu alaykum,

Let's imagine that a Muslim denies a pillar of Islam that he knows to be true, then he becomes a disbeliever. Then, let's imagine that this person pronounces the shahada with sincerity. Is this enough to make him a Muslim again, even if :
- he hasn't repented
- and he hasn't reaffirmed either verbally or in his heart the pillar he denied. However, he knows in his heart that the pillar is true and he no longer denies this certainty

Assalamualaikum

1. He return to Islam from Apostasy by accepting Islam sincerely (Say Shahadah, believe and follow religious principles) but he didn't have any regrets in the past. Is it true repentance?

2. Regret is a condition of repentance. If a person wants to repent by withdrawing from his mistakes and is determined not to repeat the same mistakes. He felt little regret because he knew it was a sin but not sorrowful. Is it true repentance?

Jazakallahukairan

I know that muftisays website is of the opinion that is it obligatory for a layman/ordinary muslim to follow one madhab or scholar. However, when I asked another imam they said that there is a difference of opinion and a lot of scholars say that laymen do not have to follow a single madhab/scholar. Will following the opinion of the second scholar be kufr? Will this nullify my islam?
Especially in a scenario where I take an opinion from within a madhab such as some hanafi jurists still say that face is not awrah whereas some say that due to fitnah face must be covered. So if I follow the opinion of those who say face does not need to be covered, will that be kufr?

Assalam Alaikum,

I am very worried that I have committed kufr and please help me and clarify.

Namely, I started to learn Arabic little by little, because I have a lot of problems with my pronunciation and I want to know what I am saying when I recite the Surah.

My friends (among whom there are also Arabs) often make fun of me when I repeat the words "out of the blue". It doesn't bother me and I often say something on purpose to make them laugh.

However, tonight, while I was fooling around like that, I looked at my friend for a moment and said: "Qul ya ejuhel kafirun", knowing (consciously or subconsciously) that there was a possibility that they would laugh because it was out of the blue.

They laughed and it immediately occurred to me that I might have committed kufr. I did not intend to make fun of the words of Allah Almighty, but I am afraid that there is an element of "joking" in it. I never said it with the intention of infidelity, but I knew they might laugh. I really don't know why I said that. I feel very guilty.

I became very depressed and went home, took a bath and said the shahada again. After that I read that one must take a bath after the shahada. I didn't do that, because I didn't want my family to get suspicious and because some scholars say that it is not mandatory. I started my fast, made wudu and prayed fajr.
I am very worried: did I commit Kufr in the first place? If yes, have I done the right thing and is my fasting and Salah okay now?

May Allah reward you for your work.

Assalam mualaikum Wahramatullahi wabaraktu. I was on the website Islamqa and I was looking at the question. Is it true that when u read surah Jinn you see a jinn?the person also asks how do you get one? Moulana Qamruz Zaman replys no this is not true to the first question to my understanding. If you go on Google search Syed Faisal Abbas Sheraz Pak amliyat he mentions that if you read surah jinn for so many days you can control a jinn and he advises to learn from a peer. Also on Google search Peer Iqbal Qureshi mentions the same thing. A friend of mine when I was in my teenage years also told me the same thing. can you please clarify? I also have another question about the jinn that I'm confused about I don't want to confuse and put doubts in you. Do you give me permission to ask you the next question yes or no? I have no intention to control a jinn I just want clear this doubt. Jazakallah khair

Asalamu alaykum ww hope your well. I have a question with regards to the validity of my marriage. Alhumdulilah Im practicing and I recently made a joke about one of my friends who over ate and puked. I said whilst in a group of my other friends that so and so puked whilst he was in ruku position with no intention of mocking the ruku position or making fun of it. I spoke to my cousin aswell who has studied ilm for 7 years in Leicester and he said I don’t need to worry and that my marriage is valid. I keep getting waswas about this and although I knew I didn’t make fun of the religion I will certainly not make any reference like that again in the future. Do I need to renew my marriage or am I fine? I’m really stressed if you can answer asap. JazakAllahu khairan

Assalamu alaykum moulana
Hope you are well

I recently went for umrah, and since then started learning more about islam. Before this I was very haphazard about islam, and wasn't particularly concerned with what sins I'm doing, not wearing hijab etc, however I am now trying and have implemented changes.



I have uttered a few statements which I am uncertain about if any of them/which of these are kufr statements:

1. When I went for umrah I really tried my best to exert myself, however I would get tired and irritable with people there pushing and shoving, and find it difficult to be rushing to masjid five times a day, the heat etc, and I expressed my annoyance by saying things like, "when we come for hajj, we should only come for hajj for 2 weeks to avoid the difficulties encountered" or "I just want to go home after umrah" when we did not have a hotel to stay in as the accommodation got cancelled, or "I don't even know if Allah will accept my umrah as I have been so impatient and shouted at people".

2. I do not recall the exact conversation, but I mentioned to somebody that I would not disown/cut off my child should he/she be conducting homosexual actions. I did not however say the action is halal. I do not even have children, and I now realise I should not have said this, as it is a haraam act.

2. I said "Jesus" when someone made me angry. I did not intent it as a belief of any sort, it came out by mistake, as they do in movies. I also realise this is incorrect.

3. I read online Q&A about a few fatwa-for eg, some saying woman cannot attend Salah at a masjid, or that it is preferable for woman who are menstruating to make wudhu and sit on their musallah at Salah times, or that woman cannot leave the house for a walk/exercise. I was finding it difficult to follow all these rules at once, especially since I was not properly practicing islam before, and blurted out something like "but then our lives will be so boring and stupid", referring to if we have to follow these strict guidelines from these strict ulema. I did not mean that Islam is "boring and stupid", but that these ulema are making it harder.

I know this shouldn't have been said either as the ulema are knowledgable and I am the one who is at fault.

4. Does saying a certain action is difficult constitute kufr, for example, saying "if a woman finds wearing hijab difficult, and those who do not wear it have it easier" - I uttered this statement as quoted, I did not say I find it difficult, just that a woman might find it difficult. The context of this statement was in the same conversation as the one above. I was confiding in my husband that I am trying to change and these are my difficulties encountered.

5. I was watching a YouTube video wherein a lady mentioned something about 'tears of the gods' and I mockingly said, "im not sure why her gods are crying", but I immediately said after that, Astaghfirullah we only have one and the same God, Allah. I was meaning she has a false belief/false gods when I said that initial statement.

6. Somebody was referring to a new walled city they are building in Saudi Arabia, and I said "is yajooj and majooj there", as a joke, I did not believe they are, but it was more like to say that Saudi is becoming so westernised that so many evil things are prevalent there (outside of Makkah and Medina).

7. When I used to listen to music, I once said the lyrics of an Indian song by mistake, which translated to "just like Eid on the day of holi" or something like that, however I did not mean it and it was simply said by mistake.
8. I read a news article wherein children in western countries are allowed to medically transition into another gender from the time they are kids. To this, I said to my husband, "If ever, they should at least not allow it for children/wait until they are 18". What I meant is not to say its allowed or right, but that its even worse if a child is being allowed such irreversible changes and haraam, as in, the western society should at the very least protect children from this.

I apologise for the long email, and if this sounds so terrible. I realise none of these statements should have been uttered, and I am consumed by guilt. Since I have decided I want to change my ways, I do not know what is happening, I feel like I keep saying the wrong things and making mistakes.

I have repeated my shahaadah, do I need to repeat my nikah? I do not want to make a mockery of my marriage either, as I fear I will make mistakes again in future, and then how many times will I keep saying to repeat my nikah. However if the above statements are that of Kufr, then please let me know if its necessary for me to repeat my nikah.

JazakAllah

Assalamualikum! I am away from my house for past two months due to my brother serious medical condition. My husband was showing me my house over video call and i said to him in urdu it does not seem like my house. Upon which he replies ( Indeed everything belongs to Allah and will return back to him ) jokingly( this sentence people says when someone dies ). I immediately said in Urdu ( kya fazool baat kar rahay ho ) meaning why are you talking rubbish? Immediately after that i realized what did i say? God forbid I did not say rubbish to that sentence which my husband said, i mean by rubbish that he used this term at inappropriate time. My intention was not kufr neither I was insulting my Religion. I am so worried about my Imaan. Please guide me what should i do in this case?

I am a unmarried man in his 30"s and an addict to pornography / masturbation of 15/20 years. I have tried numerous of times to quit this evil deed, unfortunately my nafs and shaytaan has not allowed me to. But one day very soon I will, In-Sha-Allah.

One day whilst browsing this evil addiction of mine, I found myself stumbling across blasphemous video content, in that moment I found myself strangely aroused by it, until I ejaculated and all of the guilt came rushing to me. I promised myself I wouldn't ever consume this type ever again. But shaytaan had other plans, and every once in a while I would take a sneak peak or be aroused by the idea / thought of it. I resolved myself once more and made touba and I never consumed it again, I then went umrah and tried to make a positive change in my life, I went 2 months without pornography etc started to pray and not miss salah and I was happy, until I relapsed. And the cycle started again. (I never consumed blasphemous content after the relapse, only the regular evil)

Recently, I have started to doubt my belief, thoughts such as "how can such a disgusting person like you even be Muslim when you have such evil perverted thoughts involving religion, how can you expect Allah to forgive you when you insulted him and his deen, this is why your touba and umrah and duas wasnt accepted" this guilty thinking and self loathing has stopped me from praying, lowered my imaan so much that sometimes I don't even think I'm Muslim anymore. I am genuinely lost and misguided. Can Allah even forgive such a grave sinner as myself? Is there hope? What do I do to help myself get out of this hole?
Jzk

Abdullah

I have faith in Allah and thanks to Allah who born me in Muslims.
I know and have faith that we cant imagine Allah because this is something beyond humans thinking and imaginary. But that's human nature that whenever human mind thinks about everything mind develope an imaginary or something related to that thing so what I have to imagine whenever I think about Allah. Please answer this question or tell me solution that how I overcome this

I wanted to know if saying “Oh man” or “Oh dude” is considered a form of swearing or shirk. I’m hesitant because when calling upon Allah someone could say “Oh Allah”