Hafsa
1
Assalaamu alaykum.. I am in a crisis and I beg of my brothers inislam/respected brothers to please help me
I will try to keep my question as brief as possible. May Allah reward you all for your help.
I recently submitted a question regarding some terrible thoughts I had been having but I now need to speak of something so stupid which I did but by Allah I did not intend it as kufr!!
I only became a muslim last year and I have whole faith in Allah as my Lord and islam as my deen.
I did something so awful and I only realised afterwards I may have done something wrong.. I am very ashamed to write this out but please do not judge or wonder why I made the stupid joke..
I was messing around and joking with my brother and I was impersonating a male muslim character and at some point (still in character) I said ''I am a buddhist'' I immediately after thought this was a stupid joke and I am very much sorry over making it. I did not intend it as kufr from myself and did not realise at the time I was wrong ASTAGHFIRULLAH. I feel so upset as I type this as I saw your answer on another question here saying that even if somebody jokes around with statements it is regarded as kufr.. Now what can I do? I felt so content after accepting islam and now have I became a kafir again??? Am I out of Allah ta'ala's mercy?? I did not mean to do this and I am so grieved over this wallahi. It is affecting my life, I cannot focus on my deen properly and I am worried about my actions and thoughts all the time now. I love Allah so much and there I want nothing more than nearness to Him, His pleasure and a home with Him in jannah. These days I cannot feel close to Allah because I am so worried over what I did joking and because of bad thoughts entering my mind.
Please tell me what should I do now? Am I a kafir? I did not intend the joke as kufr at all and it is only after researching that I have really understood the full seriousness over my stupid words.. I did not mean them wallahi.
Please reply soon, I am so worried that I may be outside of Allah's mercy now but He is so beloved to me and now I may not even receive His mercy. I cannot cope with this.
Duas requested please
