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Frustrated

Last updated: 13th October 2022
Question ID: #7631
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Assalamu alaikum Mufti, I am a 31 F Muslimah diabetic. I have never married, I have a job, and living with parents for past 4 years. Fourteen years ago, I made a decision (taking a Riba Student Loan) that effectively “I believe” ruined my life. For past 10 years, I have been living with social and emotional pain for ten years now via interacting with different people (female roommates or female family members). First 7 years —> 3 out of 5 roommates socially and emotionally damaged me (via gossip, spreading false rumours to large groups of people, repeatedly passively insulting me) My mother has been constantly berating me for last two years My four sisters consistently berate me for past four years. Last Straw Incident —> I went on overseas trip with Aunt and least troublesome sister. On the trip, I got humiliated badly by sister&her new husband and my aunt put me in a malicious embarrassing situation. I am now fed up with life and all I do for last two weeks is consistently pray for a quick death: Saying “Ya Al Khabir Ya Al-Muqaddim please expedite me out of this dunya the minute I become eligible to enter Jannah with no pain”). I went into an crying outburst yesterday and told my sick dad all my life stress. He is hesitant to let me move out on my own after this weekend. But I have no other solution but to isolate myself from female family members. For my own self confidence, I have now stopped talking to my mom and sisters. What do you think of my 14 year situation is it a trial or punishment? If punishment, is there anyway I can repent properly, as my self confidence has plummeted and I need the pain to stop. Salaamu alaikum.



بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الجواب حامداومصليا

As human beings we are not perfect. We fall and slip and when we realise that, we need to seek Allah’s forgiveness. You can’t link your struggles of life with punishment, you don’t know that for certain.

Truly, Allah trials his servants with blessings and adversities.

Adversities or struggles of life will befall us no doubt. We are believers and all believers will be tested. During times of trials, be strong, have hope and look at those in worse situations so it can console within that I am not in as bad situation.

How should one react to adversities and struggles of life

Do not complain about it, question decree and think; Why me! Why me!

You must look at the favours of Allah despite the adversity. Believe there is goodness in this trial, and it leads to a person repenting.

Do not be sad and you are not alone, Allah is with you. You will get through this and continue to have hope in Allah.

وَلَا تَيْأَسُوا مِنْ رَوْحِ اللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّهُ لَا يَيْأَسُ مِنْ رَوْحِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ

"Truly no one despairs of Allah's Soothing Mercy except those who have no faith. (Surah Yusuf 12:87)

As Muslims we submit our will to Our creator and have an obligation to fulfill, we observe Salah, fast, zakat and Hajj.

You must reconnect yourself to your creator. Allah will guide you and show you away if you believe in Him and trust in Him.

وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا

وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرًا

....."And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out, And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent." (Surah Talaq 65:3)

Allah loves you.

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ

"Surely, Allah loves those who place their trust in Him." (Surah Aal Imran 3:159)

You must accept your fate Qadr and exercise Sabr (patience).

مَا أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ إِلَّا فِي كِتَابٍ مِّن قَبْلِ أَن نَّبْرَأَهَا إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ يَسِيرٌ

"No calamity befalls the earth or your own selves, but it is (pre-destined) in a Book before We bring it into being, Indeed it is easy for Allah." (Surah Al Hadid 57:22)

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ

"O you who believe, seek help through patience and prayer. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient." (Surah Baqarah 2:153)

Ask Allah to help you as He listen to your prayers.

وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ

"When My servants ask you about Me, then (tell them that) I am near. I respond to the call of one when he prays to Me; so they should respond to Me, and have faith in Me, so that they may be on the right path." (Surah Baqarah 2:186)

إِن يَنصُرْكُمُ اللَّهُ فَلَا غَالِبَ لَكُمْ وَإِن يَخْذُلْكُمْ فَمَن ذَا الَّذِي يَنصُرُكُم مِّن بَعْدِهِ وَعَلَى اللَّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ

"If Allah helps you, there is none to overcome you. And if He abandons you, then, who is there to help you after that? In Allah the believers should place their trust." (Aal Imran 3:160)

Reflect on these verses and build a relationship with Allah.

Also, Please get in touch with an upright Muslim female counsellor and get professional help.

May Allah give you relief from the hardship of this life and the Hereafter and make your matters easy. Ameen.

And Allah knows best .

27 Rabiul Awwal 1444/ 23 October 2022

Mufti
Answer last updated on:
23rd October 2022
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 04
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