Naseeha - Advice

I find myself in a very specific situation that I know is considered haram, but I am seeking advice nonetheless. I have developed feelings for someone who is considering converting to Islam.

We first met a long time ago and immediately connected. However, due to his non-Muslim background, I initially ended our relationship as I believed it wasn't permissible for me to be with a non-Muslim. He assured me he would seriously look into Islam, and after some months, he indicated he was likely to convert. I trust his sincerity in this decision.

Recently, though, I've noticed significant personal challenges between us. He doesn't communicate as much as I would like, and lacks clear plans for the future, which are important to me. This contrasts with our early days together.

Despite these issues, I am certain of our love for each other. I wonder if praying to Allah and being patient could help him develop these traits, such as asking Allah to make him perfect for me so we can be happy. I also wonder if this happened because we are in a haram relationship and Allah is testing us and waiting for us to do it the right way so that we can be perfect for each other. However, I fear being unhappy in the future or misinterpreting signs that perhaps he isn't the right match for me. I don't want to realize this too late after committing further.

My mother is aware that I am trying to get to know him but has not met him and I don’t think he will be ready for that until he converts which wouldn’t happen for a while since he wants to convert genuinely. I don’t want to pressure him or nag him I’m just wondering if i should hold out hope that Allah can make us happy together or if i should move on and look for another person that is more compatible. But I love him and I don’t want to let him go.

I have prayed tahajuud and istikhara so many times for months and I still don’t know. Please advise me on what I should do in this situation.

ASA. I’m a mother of three daughters. My mom wants me to keep close contact with my sister, who unfortunately has moved away from Islam. She is an alcoholic, but my mom doesn’t know. She also sins ( like curses, eats haraam, etc.). I really feel bad that she has taken this route and refuses to see how Islam is beautiful and guides you on how to live a peaceful life. We were raised in a strict home by my mom. My parents rarely got along and so my sister disliked our early childhood life. She relates that to Islam. I’ve tried to talk with her, tried to have her listen to influential scholars, etc., but she won’t accept anything. Now the issue is that my mom wants me and my daughters to be around her because my sister is lonely ( after her divorce). I don’t want my kids to be around such behavior as she drinks in front of them and does other sinful acts. Should I tell my mom about her drinking? I don’t want to hurt my mother because she doesn’t know that my sister drinks and does other things. My mother also takes out a lot of her frustration out on me, so if I tell her, she would start getting more angry at me. So When I try avoiding my sister, my mother gets angry at me. This is one of the many issues that are going around with the family. Alhamdulillah, Allah (swt) has blessed me with a loving and caring husband and children who support me. I pray to Allah (swt) that my sister sees the truth in Islam. Jazakallah khair. May Allah ( swt) reward you for helping me with my question. Sorry for making my post long.

Assalaamu alaikum.
I'm a 23 year old girl living in a non Islamic country and who was pursuing a management degree at a local university (which is mixed with men and women and with nearly 95% of Non-Muslims). I've completed my first year of the degree, most of the part I've learnt from home and went to the exam only. There are so many haram activities. I started to feel like deviating from the way of Allah. Even when staying with non Muslim girls at hostel like listening to music, so reduced staying at hostel.
But the more I connected with the Quran and my Rabb, I realised that I'm doing something wrong. I couldn't pray on time, the degree was a distraction to my prayer and the connection with the quran. When I had to memorise the theoretical subjects, I felt the connection with the quran was affected. The more I came close to my Rabb, the more I realised that the course isn't suitable for me.I hate very much travelling by bus (the only way I could travel) which is full of men, always crowded, and probably with music on. I have a brother but it's impossible to take leaves and take me to the university. Even if he is able, he wouldn't. And my father is recovering from oral cancer.
Already I'm a victim of childhood trauma. The emotional neglect continues till now. There was always verbal violence in my home since my childhood. I always feel like I'm in deprivation of mother's love and care. The trauma affects me in my social life as well. I decided I shouldn't be like my mother to my child thus it's also a reason to drop the degree, because if not, it would be hard to me to heal myself and to learn how to be a good mother and to become a sincere servant of Allah.
Through quran I was continuously receiving warnings and to leave what I was doing. So I dropped my degree and informed my parents. I was happy regarding that decision but my family wasn't.

While these situations, the verbal abuse has increased much more. Now it's been 6 months since I've informed the decision. And yet the psychological torture isn't stopping. They (mother father brother) force me to do work. Everyday, they point out that I deserve to work. I can't even pray or recite quran freely. These people are not only against my decision but they hinder Allah, prophet and Deen as well. So continuously there is a clash between me and them.
I feel my health is going weak. This week I've had a 'hypertension crisis'. I'm experiencing brain fog and so on. If I continue to live here I may face a huge health issue.
I hope to spend my creativity in Allah's way, but I couldn't even think normally under these circumstances. From even before, so many times I've planned to do hijrah. But I don't know where to go. All of my relatives are similar to these people. Some Others seems like munafiqs to me. Because they reject the decision of dropping the degree just because of prayer and sunnah. Some close friends even can't understand my situation because I never complained before about the verbal violence or about emotional neglect to anyone. I don't know how to express exactly what I experience.

I hope you can help me by suggesting escaping ways from these situations as soon as possible.

Jazakallaahu khayr in advance.

My mother has accused me of having intercourse with my sister. She keeps on threatening to tell my dad and saying he will cut my throat. I have tried to talk reason with her but she dies not listen. My sister does not speak out at all. My uncle(mothers brother) has schizophrenia. This started 2 years ago after she gave birth to my brother. I fear for my life and reputation. I am afraid for my reputation if I ask the local imam. Please give me guidance.

i lost all my iman and im not bothered by it. i commit sin after sin with no regret. i have become a hypocrite. every ayah of the wuran regarding hypocrites relates to me. reading the quran does not increase me in iman. reading the quran actually worsens my condition. i have the same kibr as iblis.all my desire for the afterlife has faded. this is not waswasah.ive bevome jumpy bc im scared of death and the hellfire. i have no pirpose in my living and im just committing sin after sin just chasing pleasure. what can i do about this to be muslim again and to save myself from the fire?

Asslamu aleykoum sheikh,

Im a 25 year old woman. I have been proposed to twice, once when i was a teenager and once at 23. The former prospect my parents rejected as they thought i was too young and the latter there were many reasons i rejected i was clinically depressed as i haad just recovered from a psychosis and struggling with deen ( very bad time) and i was unable to work. The prospect too wasnt working , police took his papers because he was on student visa in another westrn country and it expired and wanted to settle there.I on the other hand , i already grew up in the west most of my life and i was just starting my career after studies and was more "at an advantage". I felt like i couldnt rely on this person as they would depend on me and long distance is bad to bring him here would take years. From years i have been making dua to get married. This lead to a lot of despair and further depression. Al hamdoulillah im in a much better stage now regarding my relationship with Allah, im closer to him and i feel like i dont have pain that makes me want to distance myself from him. However sometimes things people say around me trigger the feeling that i need to get married quickly and i fall into an extreme negative spiral which leads to me posting online and on apps searching frantically .It either doesnt work out or i need to reject the person always for something too. Some of the things are : old (10 plus years), follow females, im not attracted/not my type etc . I tried to sign up for halal pages but my mahrams refused to support me in chaperoning. Now im wondering does Allah swt expect me to search for a husband? i understand its rizq and Allah decides , however its very difficult for me to remain single.

I feel like my self respect has really lowered since searching. I face a lot of heartbreak even if i keep it professional. At times i appear desperate to the oppsite gender perhaps as i have been on these platforms for long, or for talking to them after having a valid reason to reject them so they disrespect me at times. A lot of the times i talk to males that are not good without realizing at first eg. criminal bakground, young men that marry much old women for papers, divorced with children , men who already have wife etc and if if hes single and young and appears well, he just wastes my time and after he meets me he says hes not attracted. Now i have stopped, i post but i dont respond due to emotional exhaustion. I feel bad im commiting sins by talking to opposite gender and want to protect my mental health and relationship with Allah. I tried the halal route . The mosque said they dont provide such service, i asked my mother to tell my dad, she said he doesnt want , i asked married friends even online friends, they say thety dont know anyone, i asked my brothers they refused as well to help. Should i just continue to ask Allah SWT for someone? I dont know if i should keep searching or just give up and continue making dua like these last few years. Please help giving me an answer. I need to feel at peace.

Asalaam-o-alaykum,
I have a problem that I�ve suffered from for the last decade since I was a young teen to now, as an adult woman. I sometimes get better but ultimately I keep �relapsing� into an eating disorder.

I feel very upset that I am unable to control the urge to binge and purge food, I feel shame and guilt for the waste and for harming myself in this way. How can I find the strength to overcome this problem? I have made dua but I would like to know what else I can and should do to be free of this mental disorder

Brother honestly this is a bit of a direct one but I need advice from someone brother since June I’ve been suffering from waswasa it was very bad before but alhamdulliah it’s gone better but it’s still there and honestly
These bad thoughts are very bad man and sometimes I say bad things by accident without any control of my tounge just comes out my out without intention bro and honestly I can’t even enjoy act of worship without having such evil thoughts making my life hard and today I just feel terrible man feeling like
I’ve done kufr shirk so much idk where to turn I’ve been patient since it first started in June waiting for Allah SWT to remove such stuff from me but it’s still here ustadh seriously what do I do I love Islam
I love Allah what do I do?

Assalamualaikum,

I was talking to a girl and became interested in her. I then decided to stop talking to her since I did not want to indulge in sin and I am not currently ready to ask for her hand eitheir. I then decided to start addressing matters that would affect me not being able to marry and am still working on them. I performed istikhara and made dua for me and her to unite if we are good for each others deen. Recently I found out that she is in talks with someone and they are potentially going to get married, alhamdulillah both her and the guy involved the parents. I understand that this is a sign from Allah that perhaps there is not good in this matter and this is a result of the istikhara and the dua I made. Ofcourse I do not know if she and the guy have gone through with the nikkah, or if there was no progress. So my first question is that am I transgressing by hoping that perhaps we will meet again. Secondly, could it be that there is no good in this matter at this moment and perhaps this matter will be good for me in the future or does it mean that there will never be good in this matter and that I should just move on. I thought about it logically and separated my desires from my thinking while deciding that I would like for me and her to meet again and perhaps we may meet again in the future.

Jazakallah khair

I had recently been in a haram relationship. The relationship ended a while back due to certain personal issues and both people agreeing that now is not the right time. We both admitted to still loving each other, and this whole situation has bought me much closer to my deen. Due to the fact that I still love her, and she was an amazing person, I still have the desire to marry her one day. I’ve been making dua endlessly for her and for us and waking up for tahajjud aswell. Although she’s stated that this is also what she desires, I don’t know if that’s what she wants, or if she is making dua just like I am for us. Please guide me on how I should proceed. Currently me and her have stopped all contact.

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله
Im married for 10 years With kids. Im a practicing muslim in regards to prayers and everything else with beard. My sexual relationship with my wife is not great. Like we engage may be once a month or two months.
For years I also have masturbation problem but in last one year I committed zina thrice. 
Every time I repent and cry to Allah but I get almost possessed by shayatan and commit this gore sin again.
I feel very low of my self. I want to be clean of these sins.
I don't know how to move on and look into the eyes of my wife and kids .. 
please help

Assalamu alaykum wr wb
I’m stuck in a difficult situation. Im a single mother of two kids since their dad left. On top of that i have to provide for my parents too because my father refuses to work . He hasnt worked in 20 years and relied on me. Now i have kids to support and im forcing my mother to make him work for himself. She enables him to be lazy. I dont know what to do. I cant kick him out of the house but at the same time i cant be responsible for 5 people. I live in an apartment and he doesnt follow the rules and can end up getting me kicked out of there too. I asked him to go fend for himself but he refuses.What should i do?

Salam Walaikum. i will try to make this as short as possible. so my brother was forced to get married to my sister-in-law and so he’s always been against this marriage and said i will get remarried but will not make her my wife. in my culture divorce is not an option so both men and women has to try and live with each other. i’m not going to take anyone’s side here and speak from what i’ve seen. both are stubborn and will not listen to each other but my sister-in-law has always been unfair. long story short they got together and she got pregnant but had an argument over a silly thing and she started screaming and swearing so my brother got upset and left but now he’s back home but he’s not speaking to my sister-in-law. both were in the wrong and both have a very high ego so no one’s apologising. they have a 8 months old daughter as well. anyway so now my second brother got engaged and my first sister-in-law once had an argument with my his fiancé. so the other day something happened and my second brother got mad at his fiancé and was telling my mother how he wish he didn’t get engaged to her. so my first sister-in-law heard this and told this story to her sister and her sister told the fiancé. she called me and was upset saying why did my brother said this in front of everyone so when i asked my sister in law about it she got mad and started screaming. at first she said she didn’t say it and later she said even if i did say it his fiancé has no right to get upset. she should look at me i’ve been through a lot and no matter what i do because i’m upset people should not question me because i’m not mentally stable now. when she’s mad she threatens she would leave this house and live alone and bring shame to your family and always talks about divorce. we really don’t care if she wants divorce she can ask her husband and get it but she never speak to her husband and whenever something happens she takes it out on us and get angry at us like we didn’t tell our brother to leave you? why are you mad at us? why are you telling others what’s happening in our family? she hits her 8 months old daughter in front of us and screams and wish death upon my brother in front of my mum.

I recently asked this question but was still confused and wanted a more detailed answer. I read a Hadith that the dua of the person who is wronged is always answered. This made me fearful because I remembered when one of my very close family members said rude and mean things to me I made a negative dua against them. I can’t remember if I made that dua in my heart or out loud. But now I really regret it because I love them a lot and never ever want that dua to come true. So I’m asking if there is a way I can reverse it? Or is having a change of heart enough because Allah SWT knows what’s in the hearts and knows I don’t want that dua to come true.

Assalamulaykum,
This is something that has deeply disturbed me. There is a Hadith that there is no barrier between the dua of the oppressed and Allah so that means that dua will be accepted. There is also a Hadith that says do not duplicate for yourselves anything but good for the angels say Ameen to whatever you say. In light of these 2 Hadith I have now become very fearful because once a really close family member hurt my feelings by making fun of me and saying mean things. Then I made a negative dua for them. But that was just because I was angry in the moment and now I feel guilty. Because I was oppressed at that time because their words hurt my feelings and because angels say Ameen to whatever one says for themselves and their family, due to this I’m really scared. Please tell me what I should do and if such a dua comes true by default. Such disputes are normal between families so I hope my dua is not regarded as the dua of the oppressed.

Assalamualaikum to whomever is reading.

My father passed on when I was 3 and my mom re-married my step father. He sexually assaulted me between the ages of 3-13 (2010) years old. I’m very ashamed to explain what he did but there was no penetration, only oral, skin to skin contact and touching. Regardless, it really hurts and scars me.

I never really understood why but as a child I told myself that I had to hide this from other family members which caused me to not reach out for help.

I never really felt angry about it until a few years ago, which is when I was fully aware of how wrong it was. I felt a lot of injustice against me. My step father became very close to my uncle (on my real dad’s side) and has made him to believe that I am a bad person.

Also, I feel very upset and angry that he is able to live his life normally while I am still suffering from his actions.

He is seen as very religious and kind to the people around us so any attempt of me trying to tell a close family member about my trauma was met with disbelief and no action, which I don’t blame because there is no manual on how to respond to a sexual assault claim.

Also because the assault is in the past and not the present, it seems like there’s very little that I can do about it.

My hope is to strengthen my relationship with Allah and to heal my heart. I was wondering if I have the right to expose him to get some justice for myself. However, I fear how it may affect my family.

I have tried to forgive and forget for the sake of Allah but I’m too weak to do that. But if this is what I should do, I would like some advice on how I can forgive and forget for the sake of Allah.

If you could also recommend some duas to heal my heart and give me the strength to forgive, I would greatly appreciate it.

Asc please I have dreamed a lot of spiders chasing me and trying to harm me, I’m pregnant 8 months now please tell me in Islam the interpretation of it And I’m feeling low these days and not have any relationship with my husband and my family please advise me JazakaAllah qeyr

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh

I am muslim born in a western country, son of Arab Muslim Immigrants, and praise be to Allah my parents taught me our religion and also with your website's Articles and Books, I learned a lot of Islam and became a better muslim, and each day I learn more from you, and I try to follow and obey Allah and His Messenger on the best of my abilities. I love Allah and His Messenger, I love Islam, I love our Ummah.

I am not writing this letter for the sake of you issuing me a fatwa, no, I just need to hear some words of counseling (naseeha) for the sake of reassuring my heart.

I will try to summarize this message and be as concise as I can, because I know you receive thousands of messages to answer. I am not hasty for an answer, so, take your time.

I have a good life, praise be to Allah, a wonderful wife, a beautiful daughter, a nice family, Allah blessed me, I work from home (in the technology field), I am also engaged on many dawah activities on the internet, but sometimes I suffer some financial problems, like anyone on this world. I am reaching my 40's now. But I have a problem which disturbs me since my teenage years, the whispers of the shaytan (al waswaas al qahri).

This is a real problem, a real mental sickness, it is not something nonsense. Western Psychologists recognize this mental disorder:

"...A losing battle between the rational self (as represented by an individual’s futile attempts at using reason to combat the disorder) and the brain’s capacity to create unreasonable automatic thoughts accompanied by uncontrolled emotional upheaval..."

But, since they are kuffar, they failed to recognize the reason, but we, as muslims, know that the reason is Shaytan (may Allah curse him).

I diagnosed myself (by searching and reading many books about psychology) with Purely Obsessional Compulsive Disorder, which is a variation of the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but it does not have the repetitive physical actions, just the thoughts.

I have read ALL articles and answers on your site about this problem, and I even read all books you recommend for one who suffers from this problem, like Talbis Iblees by Ibn Jawzi, and other Islamic Books from Shaykh Ibn Qayim, Ibn Taymiyah, and many others Scholars of our blessed Ummah. Indeed, reading these books across many years (I began reading these islamic books in 2010, reading some hours by day), I learned a lot about how to deal with whispers of the shaytan (mainly by ignoring them and making duas and dhikr, seeking refuge in Allah and so on), to such an extent that today I have much more control over these thoughts than some years ago.

And reading these books did not only help me to deal with this problem, but helped me to get closer to Allah, to increase my faith. I began to do a lot of acts of worship which I never have done before, like fasting on mondays and thursdays, praying Quyiam Lail, praying Salat Duha, reciting the Holy Quran, listening to the Holy Quran in a daily basis, giving charity, and many other acts of worship (I got closer to Allah).

But dealing with this problem alone (no one knows I have this problem, and I do not want anyone to know about it, because I feel ashamed of having this sickness) sometimes becomes very exhausting, so I need to unburden this to someone whom I trust that will not discriminate me, neither think bad of me, rather, will give me a friendly hand and listen to me.

Even though I can say that now I have this problem under control, praise be to Allah, but sometimes, in some situations, I kinda "lose this control" of my thoughts and alongside these obsessions (repeated thoughts), I feel too much distress and anxiety.

These evil thoughts which cross my mind sometimes they are about all kinds of evil actions you can imagine, just like said Allah in the Holy Quran:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ كُلُوا مِمَّا فِي الأَرْضِ حَلالاً طَيِّباً وَلاَ تَتَّبِعُوا خُطُوَاتِ الشَّيْطَانِ إِنَّهُ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ مُّبِينٌ (168)
 
إِنَّمَا يَأْمُرُكُم بِالسُّوءِ وَالْفَحْشَاءِ وَأَن تَقُولُوا عَلَى اللَّهِ مَا لاَ تَعْلَمُونَ
 
These thoughts disturb me a lot, make me feel upset and distressed simply because they do not represent my will. I will never commit these actions which shaytan incited me to do. I know that, as Prophet Muhammad, sali Allah walaihi wasalem, said, Allah forgives any kind of thought that crosses a person's mind so long as these thoughts are not followed by action, intention or speech. And, praise be to Allah I always rejected these thoughts and never acted upon them, however, even then, the distress and anxiety I feel due these thoughts sometimes is paralyzing.

I will try to describe some of these thoughts and situations which happen to me. I truly feel ashamed that a man of 40 years old like me has these kinds of thoughts, but, Allah knows, this is beyond my control, and this sickness has afflicted me since I was a teenager. I think that the environment which I lived all my life, this western country (non islamic society), is one of the reasons because here we are bombarded constantly with images of kufor, naked women, and other kind of immoralities and evil situations (which are contrary to Islamic Teachings).

Sometimes I am playing with my daughter and then, suddenly, shaytan comes to me with thoughts of pedophilia, mental images on which I am commiting immoral actions against my little daughter. I immediately seek refuge in Allah and try to ignore these thoughts, but I feel distressed, upset and nervous. Sometimes I feel dread and fear, I feel like I am going to lose control of myself and will end up committing these actions. As a result, I discreetly tell my daughter that I am tired and at another time we can play again. I stop playing with her until these feelings and thoughts go away. But I try my best to not expose myself, because I have a great fear that my family may think I am an evil person, a pervert (Allah forbid) because of these thoughts.

Always in my duas during all these years battling against Shaytan, I ask Allah to cure me from this sickness, forgive me for these evil thoughts that cross my mind, also to preserve and conceal me, so no one will ever know about this problem. I think that Allah is answering me, because until now no one knows about this.

Another situation is whenever I am alone in the kitchen, at night. Since I work remotely on my computer, I stay awake overnight working, whenever all my family is sleeping. Sometimes when I go to the kitchen to drink a coup of water, for example, shaytan comes to me with thoughts of suicide, mental images on which I am getting a knife and killing myself. Now that I am writing this letter, these thoughts may seem very childish and stupid, but whenever the situation happens, as I said, I feel dread and fear, panic, anxiety, because these thoughts seem to be very real, in the moment they are coming to me. Again, I seek refuge in Allah, make dhikrs, istighfar, duaas. Sometimes I even pray 2 rakats of voluntary prayer just to calm myself down, to talk with Allah, seek His help and forgiveness, ask Him to cure me, and so on. This always works, praise be to Allah.

Another situation is whenever I am having intercourse with my wife. I know about the etiquette of intercourse, of saying bismillah, saying the dua'a "allahumma jannibna shaitan wa jaanib al shaytan ma razaqtana" and so on. But even then, sometimes in intercourse, shaytan comes to me with evil thoughts, mainly sexual thoughts (in psychology they call this as sexual obsessions), like whenever having sex with my wife the image of another random woman comes to my mind (not a specific person). I ignore this and continue the intercourse with my wife. But I feel that feeling of regret, distress and anxiety. So after the intercourse I make ghusl, pray to Allah asking him to forgive me for this and then I continue on with my life.

One more situation is whenever praying, many times whenever I pray any salah, shaytan comes to me with thoughts of kufor, atheism, disbelief, but, as you may know, these thoughts are mere illusions of Shaytan, because I do believe in Tawheed, I have the firm establishment of Islamic Monotheism in my heart, I have read many Islamic Books, I have studied the Sunnah, the Sira of our Prophet. I do not have any drop of doubts regarding the Religion of Islam, I testify that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Another situation which triggers these thoughts of kufor is whenever I accidentally see or hear some atheist comments anywhere. These thoughts of kufor have no logic, but, even then, they distress me.

Just the last situation I will relate, since there is no need to relate all these situations, this is very embarrassing for me, but I think that you can at least understand my problem and give me counseling.

Sometimes when I am talking with friends of mine, in person, thoughts of immoral actions (homossexuality) come to my mind. I can say that this situation is the worst and most distressing for me. I feel almost like a panic attack, my heart beat increases, I feel nervousness, and tension through all my body, I feel the fear of losing control of the situation, fear and dread that this action, homossexuality (fear of becoming homossexual), may happen, even though these are just illusions from shaytan. But praise be to Allah, I am able to not let anyone perceive this, because immediately I make up an excuse and get away from my friends (tell them I need to do some work, and the like).

I never had sexual attraction to other men (Allah forbid), rather, I used to engage with girls in my teenage, something which I sincerely repent to Allah. But praise be to Allah I never committed zina, my wife is my first and only sexual relationship I had in my life.

I constantly ask forgiveness to Allah for these kinds of thoughts, but Allah knows, these thoughts, sometimes, go beyond my control.

Again, this country where I live is full of evil. The people here in general are not against Islam, rather, they respect our culture, our religion, my wife is respected, she wears hijab and never was harassed by anyone. But, even though the people here are friendly, this does not erase their horrible moral values. Like here there is too much perversion, zinnah, homossexuality, violence, robbery, drinking of alcohol, and so on. However, my work of dawah on the internet even helped many of these people to enter Islam, and I am happy with this, to help these people to get out from the darkness of kufor to the light of Islam! I just commented about the environment because I think that this can also be another "source" of these thoughts, since, specially in the mainstream media here, we are bombarded by these images of immorality and evil things.

Sometimes I blame myself like "How can I, a practicising muslim, a person who works with dawah, to experience thougths of kufor and atheism?", "How can I, a married muslim man experience thoughts of zinnah, pedophilia and homossexuality?", and so on.

Summing it up, I am not a kaafir, neither a pedophile, neither homossexual, neither a crazy person, I am nothing of what these whispers of shaytan insinuate about me, but, even knowing that these thoughts make no-sense, still, they disturb me a lot, some times.

So I just would like to hear some words of counselling, since I have this problem over control, and for what I have been searching, waswas al-qahri is a chronic disease, and as a chronic disease, this does not have a cure, except by the will and decree of Allah, the all-Mighty. But the best way for me to control this situation is by keeping my mind focused, especially on my job and on my dawah activities. This works, praise be to Allah.

Inside my heart I feel that I am on the right path, praise be to Allah. Even recently, one of my dawa projects got a worldwide recognition and coverage by some of the most important news channel on the whole Arabic and Islamic World (and even many newspaper in America and Europe), and this is an answer to my dua'as, because I made a lot of duas for Allah to make this project successful and it reached the success I wanted and asked to Allah (even more than I ever imagined).

Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatu.

Your brother in Islam.

Assalam u alikum,

I am facing a problem from several days. I get bad thoughts (actually abuses) about ALLAH in my mind and I feel very depressed after having such thoughts. I also cry and repent, say Shahadah, and scorn myself, and pray to ALLAH. These thoughts keep constantly coming to my mind whenever I pray salah and also in other times.

Earlier these thoughts used to come only in salah, but now they come all the time. I am also not sure whether I say these bad words in mind or did I utter it slowly because I have a habit of saying things to myself. I don't know how to deal with these thoughts. Would I be accountable for these thoughts? The thoughts are very bad, that is, they are clear abuses. That's why I am sending you this problem so that I can get help regarding this.

Please provide me a detailed answer whether I am accountable for these thoughts or not and if I am accountable then how should I repent for it. I hope you will answer me soon because my anxiety is increasing day by day.

Assalamu alaikum Mufti,

I am a 31 F Muslimah diabetic. I have never married, I have a job, and living with parents for past 4 years.

Fourteen years ago, I made a decision (taking a Riba Student Loan) that effectively “I believe” ruined my life.

For past 10 years, I have been living with social and emotional pain for ten years now via interacting with different people (female roommates or female family members).

First 7 years —> 3 out of 5 roommates socially and emotionally damaged me (via gossip, spreading false rumours to large groups of people, repeatedly passively insulting me)

My mother has been constantly berating me for last two years

My four sisters consistently berate me for past four years.

Last Straw Incident —> I went on overseas trip with Aunt and least troublesome sister. On the trip, I got humiliated badly by sister&her new husband and my aunt put me in a malicious embarrassing situation.

I am now fed up with life and all I do for last two weeks is consistently pray for a quick death: Saying “Ya Al Khabir Ya Al-Muqaddim please expedite me out of this dunya the minute I become eligible to enter Jannah with no pain”).

I went into an crying outburst yesterday and told my sick dad all my life stress. He is hesitant to let me move out on my own after this weekend. But I have no other solution but to isolate myself from female family members.

For my own self confidence, I have now stopped talking to my mom and sisters.

What do you think of my 14 year situation is it a trial or punishment? If punishment, is there anyway I can repent properly, as my self confidence has plummeted and I need the pain to stop.

Salaamu alaikum.