Naseeha - Advice

Naseeha - Advice
23rd October 2022

Frustrated

Assalamu alaikum Mufti,

I am a 31 F Muslimah diabetic. I have never married, I have a job, and living with parents for past 4 years.

Fourteen years ago, I made a decision (taking a Riba Student Loan) that effectively “I believe” ruined my life.

For past 10 years, I have been living with social and emotional pain for ten years now via interacting with different people (female roommates or female family members).

First 7 years —> 3 out of 5 roommates socially and emotionally damaged me (via gossip, spreading false rumours to large groups of people, repeatedly passively insulting me)

My mother has been constantly berating me for last two years

My four sisters consistently berate me for past four years.

Last Straw Incident —> I went on overseas trip with Aunt and least troublesome sister. On the trip, I got humiliated badly by sister&her new husband and my aunt put me in a malicious embarrassing situation.

I am now fed up with life and all I do for last two weeks is consistently pray for a quick death: Saying “Ya Al Khabir Ya Al-Muqaddim please expedite me out of this dunya the minute I become eligible to enter Jannah with no pain”).

I went into an crying outburst yesterday and told my sick dad all my life stress. He is hesitant to let me move out on my own after this weekend. But I have no other solution but to isolate myself from female family members.

For my own self confidence, I have now stopped talking to my mom and sisters.

What do you think of my 14 year situation is it a trial or punishment? If punishment, is there anyway I can repent properly, as my self confidence has plummeted and I need the pain to stop.

Salaamu alaikum.
Naseeha - Advice
13th October 2022

I need help

Aslam-o-Alaikum,

I hope you are doing well. I am a 24 years male who has lost a lot of hair since the loss of my mother when I was a teenager. I have recently gotten a hair transplant done but even then my head looks empty. My hair loss has since young age caused me a lot of pain and suffering. I do not know what to do. It is stopping me from doing so many things and has completely broken my confidence. I know some people say it is trivial but I cannot express in words how much distress it has caused me over the past 10 years. I have faith in Allah and His plans and I believe in His mercy that my hair can be better because His mercy is infinite. My faith does not let me accept this as it is as to me that would mean giving up.

Please I ask for your help. What can I do or read that can help me regrow my hair and move on from this source of sadness?

I am sorry if this seems like a small problem but it has caused me a lot of distress and worry. A lot of people have disregarded me in this matter so it was very difficult for me to write this. Please help.
Naseeha - Advice
10th June 2022

Found a paper under bed

Assalamu alaikum,

A friend of mine recently found a paper wrapped in cellotape underneath her bed. The paper had red writing all over it, I have a picture but do not know how to attach it to this question. On the paper there is a grid with numbers within each square. There is also some Arabic around the grid.
Is this a bad taweez? Why would it be placed underneath her bed without her knowledge?
She wants to find out the meaning of this taweez? Also who placed it underneath her bed as she lives with her in laws?
How can she get rid of this in the beat safest way? How can she protect herself?
Thank you
Naseeha - Advice
17th September 2021

Joining Islam as a Christian

I am a Christian, but I recently started researching Islam and I am intrigued and in love with the teachings of Muhammad. I was wondering, if I were to join Islam, what it’s teachings are on Christianity and whether or not I could continue to have faith in Jesus Christ while following Islam?
Naseeha - Advice
12th September 2021

I am losing faith in Allah. It feels as if Allah does not care for me or have anything good in store

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have been dealing with many mental strifes, which is why I have decided to seek advice through the lens of Islam.

I believe in Allah, and I have complete faith in Him. I got no friends, so I consider Him my best and most loyal friend I could ever have. Yet, lately, I have been struggling with keeping my faith in Allah strong. Let me tell you why. Since my childhood, it was my dream to make an outstanding result and get into an Ivy League university; but unfortunately, that did not happen. My grades never met my expectations, and currently, I am studying a subject of my choice, but not at an Ivy League University. I remained pleased with it, thinking it was Allah's decision, and I adhered to the belief that Allah does what is best for us.

However, lately, whenever I see someone or a batchmate studying at an Ivy League University, it reminds me of my childhood dream, and I feel extremely inferior to them. It makes me question Allah's love for me. Does Allah love them more? Does Allah not care about my dreams? Then I begin to see my unfulfilling dream as a punishment from Allah. I feel that Allah probably dislikes me and does not really care about me. It makes me feel very insecure.

A few more things are triggering my insecurities. I used to do very well in class. But my grades started to decline during the senior years of my school when I was preparing for board examinations. (I just could not cope with the education system, and those years were the most struggling times of my life so far.) Unfortunately, as I said earlier in my message, I could not achieve the grades of my dreams, which has completely shattered my confidence. And these days, it is causing me to lose trust in Allah because I feel Allah was not with me back then, and I fear He will probably not be with me in the future as well. He does not care about me or my dreams. Had He cared, I could have fulfilled at least one of my dreams and made my family proud.

Sometimes, I find myself questioning, does Allah have any plans for me at all? I feel like a cursed child who could never make her parents proud and may never be able to achieve anything to make them proud at least once. I feel less eligible, thinking no highly qualified man would want to marry me as I am not an Ivy League graduate and not as successful as them. All in all, I am losing faith in Allah, thinking he has nothing good in store for me. Please kindly advise how I can restore peace of mind and trust in Allah. My insecurities, fear, and inferiority complex are destroying me.
Naseeha - Advice
4th September 2021

Mental sickness

I am from domestic violence family. My parents have abusive relationship. Generally Muslim misinterpret quran surah an nissa. They bit their wife. In law bit their wife' . People teach what is rights of husband but don't teach what is farz of husband. There are different type of dowry in different cultures. You have to give truck full of iftari. You have to give expensive marriage party other wise women torture. Men don't give mehr but they want food from their wife. If girls parents give iftari, boys mother monetize it how much prize iftari it is. If a women divorce her husband for domestic violence society slender women. They say my husband also bit me but talaq gunaah. U r women and u have to bear it. I am unmarried and due to my parents domestic violence I am having mental illness. Now parents don't respect mentel patient. When I was in class 12 I fought with my parents to consult psychiatrist. I was having suicidal thought. After medicine I was fine. I didn't have suicidal thought but I stopped medicine. Society think it stigma to consult psychiatrist. When I told my mother to consult psychiatrist, I am having suicidal thought she burned my hand by saying let's have taste of jahannam. Well I wanted to consult to psychiatrist because suicide is haram.when my parents burned me I told I will bit you .i am having ocd. I can't sit in one place I self talk. My parents tell one who will marry me will bit my parents with shoe because I am pagal. I never thought about society. I am ambitious. I wanted to study. I had hope that one day I will get cure and get married. But now I am not able to study in depression. My cousin sister had baby and my father scolded me. Whenever I attend marriage party people comment on my looks. I am not beautiful. No one will marry me. Now my life became hard. I was namaji but now I stopped it. I stopped it not because I don't have faith but because due to depression I became unproductive. I know marriage is not something possible even if I get cure. People will comment and call me mental. I was in one sided love with person who made me namaji hijabi Ramzan fast but how he can marry mental I'll patients. He rejected. I have not seen him from 5 years and have no contact. I told my parents because of domestic violence I am I'll. They said why my brother is not I'll. Now I am not able to study eat due to loneliness. I have nothing except study. But due to loneliness I am not able to study. I got scolding from teacher for not doing assignment properly. Now I am 21 years. I know marriage is not something possible. I should focus on my study but I mean not able to study due to loneliness. Now my question is how I'll person should live alone. People will scold mental I'll patients. They treat us burden. I know I am not capable of marriage. I am I'll. But I am not able to live alone. I pretend in front of parents that I don't want to marry. If I will cry then they will say me it's your fault. Even if I don't cry then they will scold for not getting married. If I show them my emotion then my conditions will become worse. Well now I want to study but how to study
Naseeha - Advice
2nd July 2021

Contraception

Assalamu alaikum,

With lots of hope I have come to your page please ask Babar bahi to answer my this question. I have been involved in a physics relationship before marriage for that purpose I used to take contraception pills. I have repented from this sin but suddenly I have realized I took that pills to avoid pregnancy which is equal to taking a life. I have consulted with a lot of scholars but they said taking life is when you aborted a soul after 4 months of pregnancy. But nothing is comforting my heart I feel like only way to calm my heart is to go to jail. Please help I can't eat drink sit & sleep. Please help what should I do please help.
Naseeha - Advice
25th June 2021

Haram Relationship

I'm involved in Haram Relationship, I asked for forgiveness and she isn't forgiving me. I don't know if I'm guilty or not, I just want to end this relationship and ask Allah for repentance and forgiveness. I don't want to continue this.
I have guilt that if she won't forgive me so I won't be forgiven on the day of Judgement. Is this true? Please enlighten me with your wisdom on this topic. I'm very ashamed of myself and I just want to keep myself away from all haram deeds.
Naseeha - Advice
23rd June 2021

Assalamo Alaykum, I had sin and I want Allah SWT to forgive me. What should I have to do? Jazakalla

Assalamo Alaykum,
I had sin and I want Allah SWT to forgive me. What should I have to do?
Jazakallah khair,
Hassan.
Naseeha - Advice
22nd June 2021

Depression suicide

aoa .. i want to ask that i am suffering from anxiety and depression and i have lost myself and my life.. and i am afraid that if i couldn’t recover then i may commit suicide .. so in such condition will it be still considered haraam??
Naseeha - Advice
8th April 2021

Suffering from severe acne issues

Yaaa shaykhhhh!!!! I am in unimaginable pain, and I have been in this condition for 5 years now, in which I have been suffering from acne on my face which is genetic and makes me look very ugly, and ppl's judgements and rude remarks and staring confirm that, it has ruined my entire life, my mental health has severely hit an all time low, and I have been bullied in school ever since I turned 13, causing me several anxiety disorders, severe clinical depression, phycological trauma, and social anxiety disorder, aswell as personality disorder, not to mention the obsessive compulsive disorder with washing my face which has disabled me from carrying out day to day simple tasks. I have tried being patient for soo long, crying nights out of stress, hiding from the public, praying salah, but I have reached my breaking point, and I couldn't bear it anymore, and so it caused me to fall into haram deeds to cope with the constant stress and phycological torture I was experiencing, and it also caused me to abandon my salah, and also I lost my ability to think becuz my acne is always on my mind 24/7 from the time I wake up to the time I sleep, even I sleep in stress, and I am also failing my exams and my relationship with my siblings and parents is horribly affected due to it, even they can't look at me, and I have no friends either as I don't want to go outside, yaa shaykh, I'm losing both worlds, I am just a teenager, but I have wished for death many times. I have asked this question to other sites, but I have never gotten a practical solution, shaykh, I have no one to talk to other than u, ur answer to this question is my LAST hope, I swear by Allah, ur answer can change my life, please yaa shaykh, my this life and akhirah depends on it, please, I will pray for you in tahajjud wallah if you can help me, because nobody before you could. For the sake fo Allah, help me get saved from the fire of Jahannum, because right now, I am headed towards it and I really need help.
Naseeha - Advice
21st January 2021

I experience severe waswas

Assalam o Alikum. I suffer from different problems regarding the waswas. Last night i was reciting Holy Quran. Suddenly a shirk thought came in my head. I just closed my eyes. But then I again got a thought that people usually close their eyes to show agreement or permission to something. So now i feel that I've intentionally committed shirk. I am not sure whether i have committed shirk or Shaytan is whispering. In my heart i know that Allah is the only God amd Islam is the true religion. I'm very anxious right now. I'm fearful of doing shirk.
Naseeha - Advice
24th March 2020

Clinical depression

I am really depressed I have only suicidal thoughts no one loves me neither my parents nor my friends no one cares about me it's not recent it is from the beginning I lost my all focus I can't do anything and I can't go to job I just want to end my life please save me from these griefs I am not beautiful no one wants to marry me what should I do
Naseeha - Advice
22nd March 2020

Waswas

Aslamu 3laikum
I am practicing Islam, Alhamdulilah. But I have a problem the problem is that I feel attracted to Christianity. It bothers me a lot especially when I see a cross of anything related to Christianity. Can you recommend some duas or anything that wil help me. May Allah bless you for helping the ummah