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As a parent we all know that we would love to give the besest of the best to our children. But here I am trying to analyse if I am really trying to give him the best or I am supressing his desires as per his age. Your opinions would help me improve if I am going wrong. I had my child 10 years after marriage. Only after I delivered him I realized maybe if I had him 10 years back I would not have been able to give him the right kind of teaching. Alhamdulillah ala kulli haal. I havent introduced my son to computer games and havent installed any either although he sees his cousin, whos 6 years of age, play all day with car games on the computer. Instead I load him with normal car toys trains puzzles etc... Am i being far too strict with him more than I should be? I dont make him wear shirt pants/jeans (which I consider is not our way of dressing). I met a friend a few days back and she tells me I am oppressing my child because hes too small to undersatnd what I am doing with him and I will be accountable for all this on the day of judgement and that this is biddah to do all this on a child on whom nothing is fardh. The only reason I havent introduced him to computer games is because I have seen children sit all day in front of laptops with their games. Instead when I get time I play with him quran and Dua and namaz. like for every surah he recites he gets one candy (he knows 4 surah by now and most of the daily duaas to be recited like eating sleeping etc). My only aim is to drill in his little mind from now about aakhirat and the love for quran one should have.

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If you ask me, you are doing the right thing.

He is young, if you nurture and mould him now, then InshaAllah the rest will be easy for him.

If he can uderstand good from evil and abstains from evil from such a young age, then InshaAllah Shaytan will have a tough time messing with his head, and the angels will allways push him in the right direction.

If Shaytan has an influence on us, it is easier for him to mis lead us. But if we are strong in Imaan, then it becomes difficult for Shaytan to attack and eventually gives up. (not totaly) He will help us in our worship and make sure that we do not progress and he will see to it that we think we are pious and no longer let us go further.

Shaytan whispers many things into our hearts and minds and he also uses man to mislead us. Evil whispers come from men and jinn. So becarefull whose advice you take. If in doubt, ask a scholar.

Remember what ever worship we do, it is never enough.

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jazakallah brother ur opinion did put me into ease. Its not me usually who asks any lay man what is to be done next with my child. I usually ask Mufti huzefa palanpuri. But since my child is the only one who wears arabi jubba in his nursery and a cap so ppl arnd me make an initiative to talk to me about it. i usually try to give them Dawah about what our Deen actually means every time they talk to me about it. But words like I will be accountable and I am oppressing etc etc makes me feel low and that probably since I am not a scholar myself I feel maybe I am over doing this when I want to do things rightly.. thats the only reason I thought I would ask ppl here. And thes ppl are teh ones who follow dr zakir naik strictly. They give me cds to listen on about how to raise a child.but I DONT LISTEN TO HIS CDS AT ALLLLLL.

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Sis, you are doing the right thing definitely insha Allah! I have heard Ulama say that we should not even put our toddler girls to wear jeans! it leads to behayaayi (shamelessness. This may sound exreme but i have to agree as i've seen it with my own eyes how very young children develope fashion conciousness and them demand what they want...masha Allah, may Allah increase you and guide us all to correct understanding.

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So true sis umme taalib. This is the evry reason I do not want my son to wear anything thats not a a part of our dress because I too have seen children refusing to adapt themselves to Islamic way once given the liberty to wear western clothes or introduce them to computers or anything of the sort.Its just that I am too scared of howI will bring him up and make him a muballigh of deen,how I will keep him away from fitnas which is increasing day by dayfor eg children of his age talking about movies and cartoons in his nursery. Like brother said if I mould him the way I want now inshallah the shaitaan will not find it easy to mess with his head,just thinking that I am trying my best. But after reading your opinions I feel I am not wrong alhamdulillah.

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let me relate a story I heard in a lecture by Shaykh Riyadul Haq.

There was a practicing Muslim family, with scholars, hafiz, hijaab, niqab, no tv etc etc. (So you get the picture, this family was is a practicing strict family)

One day, their 3 year old daughter who has no out side contact, no school, pre-school, nothing.

One day, this 3 year old girl left her hair open, and basically wanted the wind to blow her hair (if you know what I mean). They were shocked, where is she getting this from. She has no outside contact, no tv nothing. Then they asked her why and who she is getting this from.

The girl said from the lady who lives a few doors away, (non muslim, I assume), she wears her hair like this and I like it.

SubhanAllah. A 3 year old being misguided by Shaytan, filling her head with corrupt desires.

With all this protection for the girl, shaytan was there to infiltrate the family.

Sister, keep it up. I wish I was in your position.

When my son was 2 and a half years old, he would pray surah Fatiha by heart, he was in a good enviroment. Then one day, someone came to my house and held him in his lap & made him dance. You can imagine how angry we all were. That guy got a telling off. My son is now 10, he is very clever, but that effect has rubbed off on him. He cries at nite when shaytan tries to fill his ears. InshaAllah, with every ones Dua, he has almost and will InshaAllah come over this.


Environment is vital. You become your friend i.e. the habits of his friends will rub off onto him, so chose his friends wisely.

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I pray that ur son gets off these evil things asap bi-iznillah. I know how disturbing this can be... May Allah protect your son and the children of this Ummah from the tricks of the shaitan. I will inshallah remember the three things u told abt the environment being vital, choosing his frnds wisely and that I become his best frnd. May Allah give me the taufeeq... brother I have a question abt zakir naik which was told to me by this frnd of mine who follows him devotedly. She tells me you dont believe in what dr zakir naik says and u feel Allah has deviated him so he has the maujaza which none of ur ulemaas have that is he knows not only the quran and Hadith but even the hindu shloks and biblical verses by heart. If that is a maujaza by Allah then he cant be deviant... what shd I reply to her in this regards. I know he is deviant (May Allah givehim hidayat) because of the kind of dressing and his maslas are so different and so illogical.

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The worst fitnas and one of the few decptions of the Shaytaan are TV's, computer games , cartoons and when you dont allow ur child do get into these ur called an orthodox and backward. I always wished if I dont get encouragement I dont get criticisms either for this and alhamdulillah the mufti(ulemaa deoband) that im in touch with for every little issue tells us do not bother about what the world says. eventually u will be accountable for how u raised ur children and not them.. he told me making efforts and making Dua go hand in hand. you cannot leave one and do the other. so do both of them and leave the rest in Allahs hand.

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For Dr Zakir Naik:
http://www.muftisays.org/forums/members-research-group/4404/dr-zakir-naik.html

@abu mohammed....may Allah subhaanahu wat'ala grant 'aafiyat and protect your son from all harm, aameen

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I must be famous! People are telling you about me. I'm no scholar that people quote me. tell them to quote famous scholars, they will say the same thing about Dr. Naik any way.

SubhanAllah.

I love Dr Naik. I only tell people not to take Fiqh from him. His interpretation of many laws in our every day life are very contradictory according to the Ulama of ahle Sunnah wal jamaat. You ask any scholar of deoband. It's not from what others say, its my own understanding too.

He is the best in comparative religion. He is not a scholar. He should not be advising people regarding aqeedah and Fiqh and try to use logic behind it.

May Allah reward him for the good he has done.

There is plenty on this site by my self and others regarding his mistakes.

Allah guides whom he wishes from whom he wishes.

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Something to think about.

Who is the most knowledgeable person on earth today?

Who knows the Quran, hadith, bible, Torah, Hindu scriptures, budhaism, and every ism and scism?

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abu mohammed wrote:

I'm must be famous! People are telling you about me.SubhanAllah.

??

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@abumohammed: Most knowledgeable person, only Allah knows. We can only have an opinion.

Raising children Islamically, morally and away from evil is not really that difficult in terms or raising. It's the outside influences that makes it difficult.

I put it in this order:

1. First sort yourselves out before they reach an age of understanding. Their first teachers are parents. The first senses in a child is seeing. They copy what they see. Why do you think very young kids like to dress in parent's clothes?

2. Bad influences such as TV, music, photos etc should be removed from the house. Not covered like a precious jewel but removed like a disease.

3. As they grow, try to help them stay in good company that includes your own associates too. This includes sending them to a school with good teachings and real lessons of freedom. Not the freedom the west convinces you is real freedom. Or if possible, an Islamic school.

4. Try not to force ANYTHING on them. Beating NEVER helps. The more they watch you pray Salaah, you can excite them about it. If you're good, I'll let you pray Salaah with me. Wudhu, Musalla everything.

If the above is taken care of from the beginning, I am certain that you won't even have to teach them that such and such thing is wrong. They will already know.

My kids see TV's at other houses, I do not exaggerate but they prefer to be in a room without that devil box in it. They hardly look at it or even notice it and they're interests are in playing with relatives or toys.

This blog will also help http://www.muftisays.com/blog/ubuntu/

There are Q&A in the Q&A section about parenting, children, discipline etc which you might want to check

I hope this helps

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abu mohammed wrote:

Something to think about.

Who is the most knowledgeable person on earth today?

Who knows the Quran, hadith, bible, Torah, Hindu scriptures, budhaism, and every ism and scism?

not a person but a jinn. the shaytan is most knowledgable. this doesnt make him the most pious, infact the worst. like the bruv said, Allaah guides only those who Allaah wills. there are many who are deluded in the deen, they only accept what they accept. if someone was to tell them otherwise, they could not change or accept their ways. the non beilevers are deluded, they are under the impression that they are correct. there are only a few who are open to change like those who accept the truth even if it goes against their will. amongst them there are some Muslims who are also deluded. they are blinded by the new fashion of salafism. today, the salafi seem to be the most pious, yet they are so deluded. have a look at the khwarij, they were so deluded that they thought that they were the most pious and they killed Uthman ra. there is even a Hadith about them saying that we would be ashamed of their Salah etc. so religious yet deluded.

dr Muhammad zakir naik. fantastic source of knowledge, capable of correcting the deluded via the will of Allaah, and they embrace islam. yet he himself remains deluded in somany ways.

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Jazakallah guest.