I want to know about these if someone can help with. Thanks
1- we are supposed to listen ti our parents but the same rulings applies on Siblings too? Like if a brother tells his sister not to do Some specific thing or habit. (Even if thats not haram) still for constructive purpose he commands her not to do that act. Still she does it without him knowing as its not haram. The Allah will be displeased with it? By not obeying his brother? Same goes to other restrictions that are not haram but still? Like not using mobile phone after this time or not to keep contact with xyz family etc? Is it ok?
2- if you have the habit of cursing others (or like giving bad’dua) when u have no desire in hesrt but just to make other realise their mistakes etc is it bad?
If u have cursed someone n u feel they are suffering afterwards. How can you take the curse back? Will it be forgiven?
In the light of the Hadith, the elder brother is similar to one's father. From this we can deduce that the younger brother is similar to one's children. Based on this, they will have rights similar to those of parents and children. The elder sister and the younger sister should also be treated in the same manner.
Older siblings should show compassion towards younger siblings, and younger siblings should respect older siblings, and there should be among them an atmosphere of harmony, mutual love and sincerity, and an absence of dissent.
At-Tirmidhi (1919) narrated from Anas that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who does not show compassion towards our younger ones and show respect to our older ones.â€
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.
Al-Mannaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The one who is older should be given his due of honour and respect. End quote.
Fayd al-Qadeer (5/388)
The older brother has some share of guardianship over his younger brother.
Ash-Shirwaani said in his Haashiyah (3/21):
Those who have guardianship and a responsibility to discipline a person include his mother and his older brother. End quote.
Al-Jamal said in his Haashiyah (4/426):
It may be understood that everyone who has guardianship and a responsibility to discipline a person is like the father, such as his paternal uncle and his brother. End quote.
So long as your father is travelling, custom dictates that the older brother plays the role of the father in the house, so he is responsible for the family and for disciplining his younger brothers and following up on their education, and so on. So they have to respect him and obey him.
But if the father is with you in the house, then it is the father who runs the household and is responsible for every individual in it. If he instructs you to obey your older brother, then you have to obey him. The same applies if he does not explicitly instruct you to do that, but he likes you to do that, or the custom in your country dictates that.
Undoubtedly the father would like his children to love one another and cooperate, and not to disagree.
The Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) sent Mu‘aadh ibn Jabal and Abu Moosa al-Ash‘ari as governors of Yemen, each of them in charge of some part of the land, and he said to them: “Co-operate and do not disagree.†Agreed upon.
If the older brother follows up on his younger brother’s studies and asks him how he is doing, this is something that is indicative of his mature thinking and sound reasoning, and the younger brother should pay attention to that, and answer his questions and obey him. He should not get angry when he asks questions and follows up with him, because he is only doing that out of concern for his brother’s interests and because he loves what is good for him.
The same applies if he tells him to clean the house, or help his mother and sisters in doing that. He has the right to make that request, and the younger brother has to obey him, because he is telling him to do something that is right and good, and encouraging him to obey his mother and help his sisters, and all of that is Islamically prescribed.
But, he should instruct his brother to do these things in a kind and gentle manner, not with roughness and harshness, because there is no kindness in a thing but it adorns it, and there is no harshness in a thing but it makes it ugly.
If there is any element of harshness in his words, then the younger brother should advise him to be kind and gentle in his dealings with others and in his speech. There is nothing wrong with him asking his mother to tell him to do that, and if he needs to ask his father to do that after he comes back from his journey, then he may do that, by way of maintaining harmony within the family and avoiding division, and seeking to create an atmosphere of love and compassion among family members, and solving problems with mutual advice, wisdom and beautiful preaching, not with roughness, harshness and strictness.
It is permitted to curse the unbelievers and sinful in general, though not specifically, except those about whom it is certainly known that they died in a state of disbelief.
Ibn Abidin states in his Radd al-Muhtar [‘al-Hashiya’]:
“The reality of cursing (la`n) is to distance from Mercy, which cannot be for other than an unbeliever (kafir).
Because of this, it is not permitted to curse a particular individual, unless it is known that they died in a state of disbelief, with proof. [It remains impermissible to curse an individual person] even if they were openly corrupt, like Yazid, according to the relied upon scholarly opinion.
As for Iblis (Satan), and the likes of Abu Jahl (f: who we know are in the Fire), it is permitted to curse them.
It is also permitted to curse non-specific individuals, such as wrongdoers and liars, because what is understood is these people as a category, and it necessarily includes those who shall die in disbelief. In such cases, the purpose of cursing would be to show that such a trait is a trait of unbelievers, in order to warn and keep people away from it. One may not intend to curse everyone of such a group, because if cursing one particular individual, such as a given wrongdoer, is not permitted, then how would cursing every single oppressor be allowed? [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar, 3.416, K: al-Talaq, B: al-Raj`a]
As for cursing a particular believer, it is a major sin, as mentioned by Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haytami in his work on major sins. [Haytami, al-Zawajir `an Iqtiraf al-Kaba’ir, 2.93]
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was not a person who insulted or cursed others. It was reported in Saheeh al-Bukhari that Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was not a person who insulted people or used obscene language, and he did not curse people. If he wanted to rebuke anyone, he would say, “What is wrong with him? – may his forehead be rubbed with dust.â€
You must repent to Allah for any curses and aggressive words that you have uttered, but there is no need to tell those whom you have cursed, so as not to provoke any evil actions. You can ask their forgiveness in a general way. With regard to the people whom you have prayed against, pray for good things for them, especially if you have been unfair to them in your prayers against them when they did not deserve such a thing. Ask Allah to be kind to you, for a person’s duas (supplications) may come back on him if he prays against someone who does not deserve them. You must keep your tongue busy with du’a and dhikr (remembrance of Allah), because this brings peace to the heart. “… Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest†[13:28 – interpretation of the meaning]. Keep away from using your tongue to hurt other people.
Q: I had given bad-dua to my most nearer one for four months in every namaz, but later I realised that I was in a wrong path, so I made tawbah to Allah to forgive me and my nearer one, is there any procedure to take back the bad-dua or tawbah is enough?
A: Taubah is enough.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
I will try never to give bad dua to anyone.
InshaAllah.
And the one whom i cursed i only told her relative once that why she does these things, she is not afraid of such and such? I never prayed like that but same happened to her. I got v upset with it to think that what if it was my in my heart.
InshaAllah i will keep in mind i cant bad dua to anyone even if i dont mean it and having good intentions. Thank you
This cannot be undone and I am sure it will be greatly appreciated.
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