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Is marriage predestined?

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goldenxshadow, bint e aisha
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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 24th May 2020 20:40
Let's say Nikah is done or one is engaged and then better proposals comes along.

Should the person accept it as fate or a mistake because they should have waited?

I know everything is written in in al-Lawh al-Mahfooz but asking how do people deal with it practically in their life.
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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 08:35
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

One should accept it as fate and remain content.

It is recommended to say: قدر الله وما شاء فعل (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does)
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الإسلامُ یَعْلُو وَلَا یُعْلیٰ
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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 08:36
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said:
"The Messenger of Allah (ï·º) said: 'The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, "if only I had done such and such" rather say "Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha'a fa'ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does)." For (saying) 'If' opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.'"

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَعَلِيُّ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ الطَّنَافِسِيُّ، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ إِدْرِيسَ، عَنْ رَبِيعَةَ بْنِ عُثْمَانَ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ يَحْيَى بْنِ حَبَّانَ، عَنِ الأَعْرَجِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ ‏"‏ الْمُؤْمِنُ الْقَوِيُّ خَيْرٌ وَأَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِ الضَّعِيفِ وَفِي كُلٍّ خَيْرٌ احْرِصْ عَلَى مَا يَنْفَعُكَ وَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللَّهِ وَلاَ تَعْجِزْ فَإِنْ أَصَابَكَ شَىْءٌ فَلاَ تَقُلْ لَوْ أَنِّي فَعَلْتُ كَذَا وَكَذَا ‏.‏ وَلَكِنْ قُلْ قَدَّرَ اللَّهُ وَمَا شَاءَ فَعَلَ فَإِنَّ ‏"‏ لَوْ ‏"‏ تَفْتَحُ عَمَلَ الشَّيْطَانِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Grade : Sahih (Darussalam)
English reference : Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadith 79
Arabic reference : Book 1, Hadith 83
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الإسلامُ یَعْلُو وَلَا یُعْلیٰ
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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 10:06
Rajab wrote:
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Forget Nikah, "ifs and buts" happen with just about every single thing in life.

  1. You study something and your friend studies something else and he gets a better job
  2. You buy a house and friend buys another house and his is much better OR a car etc


She has quoted a Hadeeth of Nabi (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam), it is a perfect ploy of Shaytaan to give you "ifs and buts"

My life is my plan for Allah Ta'ala and nothing can be done about it.
It is what it is.

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There is no Plan B!

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#5 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 11:36
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الإسلامُ یَعْلُو وَلَا یُعْلیٰ
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#6 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 12:15
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Let's say Nikah is done or one is engaged and then better proposals comes along.


What would the comparison be based on? Is every aspect better? It's impossible for one to know that another was better. All we know for sure is that Allah knows best.

Loading Qur'aan Verse
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I am not a Mufti
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#7 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2020 12:23
Rajab wrote:
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Get a second wife then.
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#8 [Permalink] Posted on 12th June 2020 09:34
xs11ax wrote:
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If a person has problems with first wife, second wife often will not fix the issues but complicate and double the problems.

I enjoy Mufti Tariq Masood's relentless encouragement for people to take second wives like the guy next door but practically I am not sure if it solves anything for anybody, maybe for some people it does...

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There is no Plan B!

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#9 [Permalink] Posted on 12th June 2020 09:48
Muadh_Khan wrote:
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Salaam.

It was a tongue in cheek remark. I hope nobody took me seriously!

I agree taking a second wife is not really a solution to a failed marriage. Maybe in some isolated cases it can help, but it's definitely not a default solution.

I'm of the opinion that we should try our UTMOST best to make a marriage work, ESPECIALLY where children are involved.

You don't 'divorce' your parents or your kids if things are not working out. You try your best to resolve things by adapting, changing, making compromises, balancing things out, understanding, and then you do sabr and put up with things you can't change etc.

But of course if things do not work out after doing everything to resolve the matter then the last resort of divorce is always there.



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