My husband is a compulsive gambler

Unspecified

Sister

#1 [Permalink] Posted on 21st November 2015 17:09

Assalamu alaikum. I have decided to seek islamic help and support due to the fact I'm married to compulsive gambler. For over 8 years of the marriage I have been treated with no respect where lies, fights, arguments and bad words is a norm for my husband to get his way to gamble. With four little children where the youngest is 2 and the eldest 7 I feel exhausted,sad to the limits and helpless. With his mum,dad and siblings we have tried absolutely every possibles tactic but nothing helped. Few years ago he went for 40 days jamat and hasn't gambled for two months, when my mum passed away he stopped for 2-3 months, last year he went for hypnotherapy and lasted 4 months without gambling. He is aware of his problem but the addiction is stronger and he simply can't stop. It looks like he enjoys living like this, always minimizes his actions, never admits his fault, doesn't care about my and our children feelings. I'm making so much dua's for him-probably more than for anyone else. I am slowly loosing hope he will ever stop. Any words of encouragement or advice of what else could me or his family do would be appreciated. JazakAllah. W.salam.

report post quote code quick quote reply

+1 -0Informative x 1

Leenah

392

Brother

#2 [Permalink] Posted on 21st November 2015 17:25

if you can talk to his family that would help
or maybe someone local he respects
maybe some brothers he went in jamaat with also

this has to be resolved on a personal level
he possibly has some deep seated psychological issues , which need to be addressed.

a local solution by people with real world experience in these kind of matters is required in my opinion

report post quote code quick quote reply

+1 -0Informative x 1

THEN FLEE TO ALLAH
AS ALLAH KNOWS BEST

London

26,192

Brother

9,547

#3 [Permalink] Posted on 21st November 2015 17:48

May Allah make it easy for you and the family.

Please also take a look through this thread as it may be of benefit to you too.

www.muftisays.com/forums/14-peoples-say/5951-gambling--th...

Make abundant istigfaar and offer salatul haajjah, inshaAllah these will also be of great benefit.

If your husband knows and is willing to sort himself out, ask him to listen to Ruqyah with firm intentions. See related threads.

report post quote code quick quote reply

+1 -0Like x 1

Actions are judged by intentions, so each man will have what he intended.
ابو محمد

London

26,192

Brother

9,547

#4 [Permalink] Posted on 21st November 2015 18:06

report post quote code quick quote reply

+1 -0Like x 1

Actions are judged by intentions, so each man will have what he intended.
ابو محمد

6,663

Brother

921

#5 [Permalink] Posted on 21st November 2015 18:51

40 days tableegh, stopping for 2-3 months, 4 months without gambling with therapy...

from the information you've provided it seems like he has made efforts from which they've partially succeeded. Most of the encouraging text is within your post as far as I can gather.

in addition to the above advice from the other members I can only add that even with the difficult times and hardship you continue to endure (more than others) your efforts have worked and losing hope is a normal feeling everyone gets on prolonged efforts in any matter be it marriage, business or even something as simple as travel.

I hope I'm right in my assumption that your husband knows about his illness and will continue to make efforts even if it's on and off.

Request him to get in contact with a good scholar he knows if he's willing. The one to one company will make a big difference inshaAllah

Posted via the Muftisays Android App

report post quote code quick quote reply

+2 -0Like x 1Winner x 1

I am not a Mufti

Unspecified

532

Brother

391

#6 [Permalink] Posted on 21st November 2015 19:24

Getting in contact with some Mashaikh, may be some Khalifa of Sh Zulfiqar Naqshbandi or Mol Hakeem Akhtar RhA may be in your home town. Mashaikh can treat this type of things. They have experience in this, actually it is their field.

Jigr Muraad Abaadi was addict to drinking, a single visit to Hazrat Ashraf Ali Thanwi's RhA khanqah changed his complete life.
A man came to Hazrat Hakeem Akhtar RhA who was about to suicide himself due to unlawful love. He got treated there.
There are many other example.

Make contact with some rightly guided sheikh/peer. It will help insh'Allah.

I can't understand that how can it be possible that a man is trying to get rid of some addiction, and Islam can't help him. We just need to follow the remedy provided by Allah JJ.

Tell your husband to meet a sheikh/peer. And I am sure that he will take this advice insh'Allah as he is also trying to get rid of this, as your post says.

May Allah JJ help you.
wsalam.

report post quote code quick quote reply

+1 -0Informative x 1

Ya rabbi! In A'zumat Zunoobi Kasratan
Fa laqad Alimtu bi anna afwaka a'zamu

Unspecified

3,416

Brother

3,778

#7 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd November 2015 00:40

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

Looking at the positives

The first step towards overcoming any addiction is for the addict to realise that they have a problem. It seems your Husband has to some extent acknowledged that he has an addiction. On top of that he has taken some steps to overcome his addiction in the past. Those are positive signs Alhamdulillah.

So the question remains why he as an addict keeps returning to his addiction after periods of absence...?

Firstly lets look at it from a Medical perspective, traditionally very little research had been done on gambling addiction. The Psychologists categorised gambling as a compulsive behaviour disorder (similar to an overweight person who has a compulsive eating disorder), recently Neuro-scientists re-classified compulsive gambling as an Addiction after several studies found that the Neural pathways in the Brain of a gambling addict become re-wired similarly to how the Brain of someone addicted to crack cocaine or alcohol becomes re-wired you can read more on that here

www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1...

What this means is that its not simply a case of why cant he just quit ?
Whilst there are certain individuals who decide one day enough is enough, and make a determination that they are never going to engage in their addictive behaviour ever again...And they remain true to their commitment those people are the exception rather then the rule.

There are usually two things that trigger a relapse.

(1) Stress/Anxiety a gambler over the years has developed a habit, if they feel stressed, bored or anxious, they will try and distract their minds and get a mental high by gambling.....So once they quit, something will happen in their life that causes them to feel stressed and they will return subconciously to the behaviour they have practiced hundreds of times over the years, in times of stress their Subconcious mind says " You are feeling stressed lets go and gamble".

This is the same in all addictive behaviors I have a relative who was a chain smoker, for 30 plus years , he finally managed to quit for about a year. Then one of his children passed the first thing he did was start smoking that very day.

(2) Happy occasions/ Treats.
One of the things that addicts like to do is treat themselves by engaging in their addictive behaviour, to give smoking as an example, a smoker has conditioned themselves to believe that smoking is more pleasurable on certain occassions, so even after quitting they will enjoy a puff such as Eid Days, Weddings and other gatherings and social occasions, they justify it by saying to themselves.. "Its only for today, nothing wrong with chilling out once in a while." Problem is this once in a while treat leads many to become full time smokers again.... although they have quit they have never fully broken their emotional attachment to Smoking,.... The most bizarre example, of this I came across years ago was a friend, whose father had quit smoking 20 plus years previously, but every year in Ramadhan he used to treat himself after Iftari by smoking, and each year after Eid he would quit.

Another thing related to this is that the addict once they quit, can become over confident, So they will say "I know how to Quit now, and I am never going to become addicted again, so theres nothing wrong with treating myself once in a while." Slowly but surely he becomes addicted again.

Once a person decides to quit they must make a firm intention that they are never going to engage in that addictive behaviour ever again that means no occasional flutter at gambling... no occasional puffs of cigarettes, if they make the intention after I quit " I can and will treat myself once in a while" they will end up becoming addicted again.

Relapses

The vast majority of addicts will on their road to recovery have a relapse, some times its after a few days and sometimes after a few months, in certain cases after a few years. What the addict needs to do rather then dwell on the fact that they failed, is to quickly renew their intention to quit and get back on the road. What often happens is that an individual has a relapse goes out gambles but immediately feels depressed and upset and angry with themselves, "Whats the use I am never going to be able to quit" So they will go on a gambling binge. Pretty soon they are back were they started then a year two later they will decide to try quitting again, again have a relapse, this becomes a sort of vicious cycle, similar to yo, yo dieters, we have individuals who are yo, yo quitters who keep going around in circles for years.

Dr Shad Helmstetter wrote a book years ago called "What to say, when you talk to yourself" his premise was that a person remains
in a situation because of the negative thoughts or conversations that they repeat to themselves over and over again, those thoughts form a persons perception as to how they see themselves end up creating that persons reality,..... (As they say your thoughts create your reality.)

So for example if your husband Internally sees himself as a hopeless addict and gambler and continuously in his thoughts repeats to himself "Whats the use I am a hopeless addict and gambler" he will remain addicted to gambling, and if he repeats to himself " I love the buzz I get from the gambling nothing wrong with me enjoying a little pleasure once in a while" then he will remain emotionally attached to gambling.

What Dr Helmstetter also theorised was that if a person consciously and consistently repeats to themselves positive thoughts and conversations they will be able to change their behaviour, secondly what he states is that if those thoughts are repeated in the present tense it will lead to quicker results. For example a person rather then saying "I will quit smoking" should repeat to themselves " I am a non-Smoker" "I dont Smoke" "I hate smoking" its as if they have already accomplished it. Pretty soon they will perceive themselves as a non-smoker and will ultimately become non-smokers.

As muslims we believe the success and accomplishment ultimately rests in the help of Allah. So if one takes action to quit one can Islamicise the self talk in a number of ways (1) Make consistent dua thousands of times a day " Ya Allah help me give up gambling" (2) Make istighfar thousands of times a day by repeating "Astaghfirullah I seek forgiveness of Allah from each and every sin that has caused to become addicted Gambling" (3) Make Shukr thousands of times a day by repeating "Alhamdulillah that I am no longer a Gambler."

Ultimately as others have stated it is best to contact an authentic Shaykh and with full commitment stick to the spiritual prescription of Dua and Azkar he gives.

Another thing discovered and used in various addiction recovery methods is that a holistic approach in changing the internal condition of the addict is very helpful in overcoming addiction, if the addict bears deep heated feelings of anger and resentment towards others, it can be a stumbling block in overcoming addiction.

Additionally despite outward appearances of being self-confident the addicts normally harbour feelings of self loathing, they dislike who they are, feel they are useless, feel they are not capable of accomplishing anything, feel regret and anger towards themselves for the years they have wasted and harm they have done to themselves through their addiction, these type of emotions put the individual in a state of emotional paralysis where they are unable to move forward.

Couple of methods offered by various addiction recovery programmes which might be of benefit is. (1) Is forgiveness, get a pencil paper and starting from childhood for the addict to write down every situation were they felt someone has slighted them anyway and forgive those persons sincerely from the Heart, (And this is why in Islam a deep emphasis is placed on forgiveness a person who bears deep seated feelings of hatred and resentment ultimately hurts their emotional and physical health)

(2) Gratitude again get a pen and paper starting from very early childhood write down everything you managed to achieve or accomplish, no matter how small or trivial it seems, make shukr to Allah for each and everything, from learning to walk in earliest childhood, from learning to speak, to the first time a person turned a tap to pour water into a glass , to learning how to make a cup of tea, learning to read, learning to write, all the books you managed to read in your life, learning to drive, to cook, to clean, etc.
Once the person starts making a list of each and everything they realise they are not useless or incapable as they thought but they have achieved and accomplished many things through out their life...!

Another aspect is that the addict needs to cut of all ties with friends and associates who are also addicted to gambling, otherwise he will be dragged back in...Pious company is essential.

Ultimately an addict can only overcome an addiction if they are firmly committed themselves, if they are taking measures because of external pressure from friends and relatives and not fully committed themselves they will remain addicted.

They will lie, cheat, steal and defraud to fulfill their addiction, the family might cease his bank cards and take control of his finances, thinking the problem is resolved, only to have relatives and friends knocking on the door saying he has borrowed money and asking for re-payment. This actually happened to someone I know of the individual borrowed about Â£40,000 from relatives and friends his family only found after a couple of years when people came asking for re-payment.

In a local masjid a young man started appearing for a couple of weeks, telling people as to how he had arrived to the U.K. on a student visa, he had brought money to pay for his studies and accommodation, but his mother who was back home had suffered a heart attack, she needed a bypass operation, so he had emptied all his bank accounts and sent all his money back home to help his mother, so the Imam made announcement asking people to help this young man, and about a couple of weeks later someone noticed this young man entering a bookies to gamble on horses.

Another case, of a young man knocking on doors to raise money for charity, to help pay for the funeral costs of some muslim elder who had no family in the U.K....He was caught gambling as well.

Another guy faking a burglarly and robbing his own wifes Jewellery, and savings to pay for his gambling.

Unfortunately Gambling is a very bad addiction the addict can stoop to the lowest of depths to satisfy addiction, and will lash out defensively when confronted. It will take an addict up to 2 years be it gambling, smoking, or otherwise before the urge or compulsion starts to sub-side even then he will occasionally feel a compulsion, so the individual will need to have firm resolve.

report post quote code quick quote reply

+1 -0Like x 1

Abdur Rahman ibn Awf

#8 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd November 2015 06:46

Our daus are with sister.

Members have discussed about the positives. The brother would have discussed about his bad habits with other brothers during his stay in 40 days; the reason behind it etc. These brothers know him better and can help in this situation.

We don't know about the location of this brother. Here in India, good number of brothers get reformed every month. Due to curiosity I discuss with these reformed brothers. drugs, liquor, porn, gambling, attempt to suicide, wife beaters etc. Alhamdulillah now few are zimmedars. And they pull people who are in the same situation, they know both the disease and cure.

I have positive thoughts about OP sister. But in general I would like to discuss about the failures, may be helpful to others.

Brothers are send in jamaath to strengthen their imaan. As a byproduct people get reformed, taubah from even the hidden habits. After their return it is like a rehabilitation process. When I say rehabilitation, it is not from bad habits, strenghten the Imaan. But if the surroundings won't support the brother to strengthen his Imaan, his imaan weakens and habits return.
After his return the brother offers salah, tahajjud, taleem at masjid and home, gashth, masjid amal, weekly ijtemah, be-thabathi of duniya etc. But people surrounding him with their acts say that is exclusive for you, you need correction, we are good and we won't need them. Surroundings means, parents, brothers, sisters, wife, children, friends etc.

If this "after care" is not supported by people around him, he fails.

I repeat; these words are not for OP sister. It is general comments.

report post quote code quick quote reply

+0 -0Winner x 1Informative x 1

London

26,192

Brother

9,547

#9 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd November 2015 06:56

Please also see this thread
www.muftisays.com/forums/27-sharing-portal/10039-debt-fre...

Very very helpful to so many.

report post quote code quick quote reply

No post ratings

Actions are judged by intentions, so each man will have what he intended.
ابو محمد

#10 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd November 2015 08:26

I add to my previous post:

When doctors recommend red meat free diet to a patient, we have witnessed that the whole family give up red meat for whole life. Similarly the family members have to support the affected person. We are glued to TV when the son goes for salah, we want money at any cost, even through haram. The brother has to fight with both his habits and his surroundings. He must be special; normally Fails!!

report post quote code quick quote reply

+0 -0Like x 1

Unspecified

3,416

Brother

3,778

#11 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd November 2015 12:42

I think too much advice can leave a person feeling overwhelmed, about were to start the advice given by Brother Abu Muhammad is Insha'Allah the easiset and most effective, Namaz e Hajaat (i.e. Salatul Hajah and abundance of Istighfar) You asked for some Inspiration the following article will Insha'Allah be inspirational.

A Zikr that many have found to be fairly effective in dealing with difficulties is as Brother Abu Mohammed pointed out is Istighfar that is the recitation of Astaghfirullah in abundance you should recite it abundantly hundreds of times through out the day,....... it will "insha'Allah help.

The following article has some stories in relation to the power of Istighfar, I have highlighted them in bold. Have a read Insha'Allah.

Power of Istighfar

Bismillah.

May Allah ease all your difficulties ameen. Please read the following article some amazing true stories Insha'Allah it will be of benefit.

The Blessings of abundant Istighfar.

May Allah forgive us all! Ø§ÙŽØ³Ù’ØªÙŽØºÙ’ÙÙØ±ÙØ§ï·²ÙŽ Ø§Ù„Ù‘ÙŽØ°ÙÛŒÙ’ Ù„ÙŽØ§ Ø§ÙÙ„Ù°ÛÙŽ Ø§ÙÙ„Ù‘ÙŽØ§ Ú¾ÙÙˆÙŽØ§Ù„Ù’ØÙŽÛŒÙ‘Ù Ø§Ù„Ù’Ù‚ÙŽÛŒÙ‘ÙÙˆÙ’Ù…Ù ÙˆÙŽØ§ÙŽØªÙÙˆÙ’Ø¨Ù Ø§ÙÙ„ÙŽÛŒÙ’Û

Salvation is a very great blessing. Just imagine, when the pronouncement of salvation for the Messenger of Allah was made in the Holy Quran, he was overjoyed. Only that Mu'min is successful who is absolved. If this salvation and forgiveness is demanded of Allah, it is called "Istighfar." Allah blesses that nation with the capacity and chance to repent whom He wants to save from punishment. The incident of Hazrat Younas' people is present in the Holy Quran. There occur some curtains and hurdles between man's supplication and the High Throne due to sins. Istighfar removes those curtains and hurdles.

Once Hazrat Imaam Ahmad bin Hambal was travelling across a far-off village of Iraq that the night fell. There was neither any intimacy nor a place to settle. He intended to spend the night in the Masjid. When he went there, the watchman refused to let him in. He tried to tell him but he was adamant to his stand. Hazrat Imaam said, "I may sleep here on the floor outside the Masjid." So he lay there but the watchman was adamant to his stand. He caught his feet and began to drag him away the Masjid when a baker caught sight of it. He requested Hazrat Imaam to spend the night at his house. He served and respected him well. Then he went out to knead flour. Imaam Sahib noted and heard him begging forgiveness going about and kneading flour. When in the morning, he was asked, he said that it was his daily routine. He said, "Did you ever find its apparent benefit? He said, "Yes, every of my supplication is granted. Only one supplication is till now not granted." He said, "Which one?" He said, "The supplication of visiting Imaam Ahmad bin Hambal." He said, "I am Ahmad bin Hambal. This supplication of yours has also been granted. I have been dragged to you."

The benefits of excellences and effects of Istighfar are very wonderful but the common people do not attend to it. This is also the curse of sins that despite reading so many uses of Istighfar, people do not opt for it. If I write down today the excellence and uses of Istighfar mentioned in the Holy Quran without explanation, the column will extend to eight pages.

A few days ago, I happened to study the writing of an Arab female scholar. Allah had blessed her with so many blessings and benefits of Istighfar. She writes, "O sister, burning in sorrows, miseries and worries, O sister wasting away yourself in weeping, O sister caught by trials, tribulations and troubles, why do you not use the medicine of Istighfar? It is balm of every injury and cure of every worry, every grief and every trouble." All these things are certainly true and the benefits of Istighfar are just a glimpse otherwise the man who beseeches to Allah again and again and repents of his sins, he will gain everything in the world.

A lady writes her own incident. She was a widow of thirty years with five children. She had neither a proper place to live nor any source of livelihood. She was a single widow with five children. It is not difficult to estimate her grief and worries. During those days of anxiety, she heard this tradition on the radio.

Ù…ÙŽÙ†Ù’ Ù„ÙŽØ²ÙÙ…ÙŽ Ø§Ù„Ù’Ø§ÙØ³Ù’ØªÙØºÙ’ÙÙŽØ§Ø±ÙŽ Ø¬ÙŽØ¹ÙŽÙ„ÙŽ Ø§ï·²Ù Ù„ÙŽÛÙ Ù…ÙÙ†Ù’ Ú©ÙÙ„ÙŽÙ‘ Ú¾ÙŽÙ…ÙÙ‘ ÙÙŽØ±Ù’Ø¬Ù‹Ø§ ÙˆÙ‘ÙŽÙ…ÙÙ†Ù’ Ú©ÙÙ„ÙÙ‘ Ø¶ÙÛŒÙ’Ù‚Ù Ù…ÙŽØ®Ù’Ø±ÙŽØ¬Ù‹Ø§ ÙˆÙ‘ÙŽØ±ÙŽØ²ÙŽÙ‚ÙŽÛØŒ Ù…ÙÙ†Ù’ ØÙŽÛŒÙ’Ø«Ù Ù„ÙŽØ§ ÛŒÙŽØÙ’ØªÙŽØ³ÙØ¨Ù’.

The man who opts for Istighfar i.e. always begs forgiveness, Allah rids him of every worry, trouble and grief and gives him livelihood beyond imagination.

She was a Mu'min slave of Allah. She began to say, "Now all my problems are solved." She busied herself and her children with Istighfar daily. They begged forgiveness for thousands of times daily. Only six months had passed that they found papers of inheritance estate. So they constructed their own house with millions of rupees and every luxury. Subhaan Allah! Those who ask forgiveness of Allah are very dear to Him. He does not render them needy of others. That lady thanked Allah and continued Istighfar. She set her children to get religious education and memorizing the Holy Quran.

I happened to visit a great saint who had very strict terms and conditions a few days ago. Some saints are very mild whereas some others are strict with regard to the limits of Shariah. The creature benefits from both types of saints. The things that have been called "Cure" in traditions, honey and Hijaamah are also included in them. Allah has placed cure in both. Same are the kinds of the saints of Allah. Someone treats with honey i.e. mildness whereas the other with Hijaamah i.e. strictness. He was a strict saint. He would not often accept pledging from those who would go to pledge an oath of allegiance with him. If he was light to someone, he would say, "Observe fasts for three days and recite Istighfar for one and quarter past one lac times." Allah be thanked, wonderful benefits of Istighfar were observed. Someone was blessed with visiting of the Messenger of Allah and others were given some other blessing instantly. Qazi Abu Ali At-Tanukhi has written a book "Kitab-ul-Farj Ba'd-ul-Shiddata" â€™â€™Ú©ØªØ§Ø¨ Ø§Ù„ÙØ±Ø¬ Ø¨Ø¹Ø¯ Ø§Ù„Ø´Ø¯Ù‘Ûƒâ€˜â€˜ i.e. Amplitude And Comfort After Hard Times. It is a very brief but effective book. He writes his own incident, "The enemies captivated me and intended to kill me. I recited Hazrat Younas' supplication abundantly during. That supplication had Tauheed, praise and Istighfar that is Ù„ÙŽØ§ Ø§ÙÙ„Ù°ÛÙŽ Ø§ÙÙ„Ù‘ÙŽØ§ Ø§ÙŽÙ†Ù’ØªÙŽ Ø³ÙØ¨Ù’ØÙŽØ§Ù†ÙŽÚ©ÙŽ Ø§ÙÙ†ÙÙ‘ÛŒÙ’ Ú©ÙÙ†Ù’ØªÙ Ù…ÙÙ†ÙŽ Ø§Ù„Ø¸Ù‘ÙŽØ§Ù„ÙÙ…ÙÛŒÙ’Ù† After regular recitation for nine days, I was released from that captivity."

An Arab young man writes his incident vowing with Allah that whatever he was writing was true, "I was a poor depressed person. I went to Saudi Arabia to earn a few coins but I was arrested there. I knew that even if the arrested person in Saudi Arabia is innocent, it takes approx two years to get released. I made Istighfar my routine for thousands of times daily. Then I was released after just eighty-four days. The next day, someone gifted me sixty thousand Rayal. Then the situation began to change regularly."

These are absolutely true incidents. They are the gems of the sea which are hidden in Istighfar. Today, I had sorted out so many incidents for you but I shall not write them in detail. For example:

i. Here is a doctor. Five doctors in the hospital conspired against him and got him dismissed from service. It is said that he invoked Sunnah Istighfar Ø§ÙŽØ³Ù’ØªÙŽØºÙ’ÙÙØ±ÙØ§ï·²ÙŽ Ø§Ù„Ù‘ÙŽØ°ÙÛŒÙ’ Ù„ÙŽØ§ Ø§ÙÙ„Ù°ÛÙŽ Ø§ÙÙ„Ù‘ÙŽØ§ Ú¾ÙÙˆÙŽØ§Ù„Ù’ØÙŽÛŒÙ‘Ù Ø§Ù„Ù’Ù‚ÙŽÛŒÙ‘ÙÙˆÙ’Ù…Ù ÙˆÙŽØ§ÙŽØªÙÙˆÙ’Ø¨Ù Ø§ÙÙ„ÙŽÛŒÙ’Û . He was restored within a few days and the jealous met a very heinous exemplary end.

ii. Here is a lucky but childless couple. They got treatment from so many countries but it was useless. Then they heard the verse of the Holy Quran which tells, "Beg forgiveness, Allah will give you wealth and children." They stopped every treatment and started Istighfar. Now they have three sons and four daughters.

iii. Here is a lady. Her husband abuses and beats her much and disgraces her. She adopted Istighfar. One day, her husband beat her well. After he left, she kept invoking Istighfar in grief and sorrow. She did not complain but begged forgiveness. All of a sudden, there was an explosion and a charm appeared at some place in the house. It came to be known that it was a dangerous magic spell. She threw that out of the house. When her husband came home in the evening, he began to ask forgiveness of her. Then he changed so much that life took a new turning.

iv. Here is a Muslim sister. She wants to marry a holy, pious, Mujaahid saint. She makes Istighfar her routine for 1500 times daily as Ø§ÙŽØ³Ù’ØªÙŽØºÙ’ÙÙØ±ÙØ§ï·²ÙŽ Ø§Ù„Ù‘ÙŽØ°ÙÛŒÙ’ Ù„ÙŽØ§ Ø§ÙÙ„Ù°ÛÙŽ Ø§ÙÙ„Ù‘ÙŽØ§ Ú¾ÙÙˆÙŽØ§Ù„Ù’ØÙŽÛŒÙ‘Ù Ø§Ù„Ù’Ù‚ÙŽÛŒÙ‘ÙÙˆÙ’Ù…Ù ÙˆÙŽØ§ÙŽØªÙÙˆÙ’Ø¨Ù Ø§ÙÙ„ÙŽÛŒÙ’Û besides this abundance of small Istighfar Ø§ÙŽØ³Ù’ØªÙŽØºÙ’ÙÙØ±ÙØ§ï·²ÙŽ Ø±ÙŽØ¨ÙÙ‘ÛŒÙ’ ÙˆÙŽØ§ÙŽØªÙÙˆÙ’Ø¨Ù Ø§ÙÙ„ÙŽÛŒÙ’Û. Now, she is married to a scholar Mujaahid and a loving husband.

v. A woman got the disease of cancer. She recited Istighfar abundantly. After the next test, there was nothing of cancer.

vi. A woman was childless even after thirty years of marriage. Someone told her about Istighfar and she got busy in it. Allah blessed her with children.

There are so many incidents. The object of writing them is to get persuasion to action. There is no exaggeration in these stories because Allah Himself promises numerous blessings at Istighfar. Allah does not go back on His words. Study Allah's words in Surah Hood verse No.3:

"And you must seek forgiveness from your Lord, then turn to Him in repentance, and He will provide you with good things to enjoy for a given time and bestow His extra favour on everyone who has extra good deeds (in his account)." (Hood:3)

The actual reward and blessings are in the Hereafter but there is promise of giving peace, calm, comfort and numerous kinds of blessings in the world also.

At another place, Allah says: So I said, "Pray to your Lord for your forgiveness. Indeed He is very-Forgiving, and He will cause the heavens to rain upon you in abundance and will help you with riches and sons and will cause gardens to grow for you and cause rivers to flow for you." (Nuh: 10-12)

If you meditate over these two verses only, you will come to know that Istighfar is key to every blessing and comfort. That's why; the Holy Quran orders for Istighfar again and again. Our Holy Prophet despite being innocent recited Istighfar again and again. Sahaabha would hear him reciting Istighfar for one hundred times in one sitting only. He advised his Ummah also to do so. If we take Sunnah supplications, there is Istighfar in most of them. I was observing ablution a short while ago. There was also Istighfar in the Sunnah supplication of ablution. Then I started to the Masjid. The supplication recited on the way to Masjid also contains Istighfar. After prayer, I recalled the Sunnah activity and this is Istighfar for three times. Our kind compassionate Holy Prophet taught us Istighfar in abundance. You can estimate from it how many uses are there in Istighfar. According to a narration, Hazrat Luqmaan said to his son:

"O my son, make your tongue habitual of â€™â€™Ø§ÙŽÙ„Ù„Ù‘ÙŽÚ¾ÙÙ…Ù‘ÙŽ Ø§ØºÙ’ÙÙØ±Ù’Ù„ÙÛŒÙ’â€˜â€˜ because there are timings with Allah when He does not reject anyone's supplication." Note, how necessary thing Istighfar is that it has been ordered to beg again and again. Qataadah says, "The Holy Quran diagnoses disease as well as its cure. Your disease is sins. Your medicine is Istighfar." Abul-Manhall says, "There will be no companion dearer than Istighfar in the grave. Allama Ibn Tammiyah was asked, "Should we observe rosary or Istighfar in abundance?" He said, "If clothes are clean, scent is good, but if dirty, soap is good. We often remain dirty." It means Hymn is like scent and Istighfar is like soap. Actually, Istighfar is a heavy rain of purity which purifies man from inner and outer side. The biggest purity is that Recording Book is purified. This book is given in the right or left hand. How much is Recording Book filthied by watching a movie? How much is Recording Book darkened by telling lies? The babblers speak nonstop. There is negligence in duty, evil-eye, unlawful living and dishonesty. How many sins have surrounded the Ummah? If listed, it will become a book. How much repentance and Istighfar in comparison with it? Sins are actually like the fat that when clots the veins of the heart there is heart-attack. Sins are like the web that prevails upon the eye and the eyes are sour. Sins are like the garbage that when it clots the water pipe, it is like a poison that when enters blood or vein it causes cancer. Istighfar is treatment of them all. Our sins have blocked those invisible pipes and lines from where mercy, peace, might and lawful living descend. Passing through them, our supplications reach the High Throne. We can avoid every grief, pain, misery deprivation, disease, shock and every trouble by asking forgiveness. The actual reward is that of the Hereafter about which Hazrat Ayesha says: Ø·ÙˆØ¨ÛŒÙ° Ù„Ù…Ù† ÙˆÙØ¬Ø¯ ÙÛŒ ØµØÛŒÙØªÛ Ø§Ø³ØªØºÙØ§Ø±Ø§ Ú©Ø«ÛŒØ±Ø§

Glad tidings i.e. Allah's good pleasure and Paradise is for the one in whose Recording Book is Istighfar in abundance. Allah be thanked, our organization has been blessed with Istighfar in abundance owing to the blessings of Kalimah Tayyibah, prayer and Jihaad. Never be negligent in reciting Kalimah Tayyibah in abundance. It should be at least for 100 times daily. Make arrangements for it for Allah's sake. Never give up recitation and Durood Sharif. I am indicating to the important points that were issued during ten days compaign of Istighfar. You will find those in today's paper.

Let us break up the sitting at the words of Hazrat Ali. Ø§Ù„Ø¹Ø¬Ø¨ Ù…Ù…Ù† ÛŒÚ¾Ù„Ú© Ùˆ Ù…Ø¹Û Ø§Ù„Ù†Ø¬Ø§Ûƒ Ù‚ÛŒÙ„ ÙˆÙ…Ø§Ú¾ÛŒ Ù‚Ø§Ù„: â€™â€™Ø§Ù„Ø§Ø³ØªØºÙØ§Ø±â€˜â€˜

Woe is to one who is ruined when he has the prescription of Istighfar with him. Asked, "What is that prescription?" The answer came, "Istighfar."

Ø§ÙŽØ³Ù’ØªÙŽØºÙ’ÙÙØ±ÙØ§ï·²ÙŽ Ø§Ù„Ù‘ÙŽØ°ÙÛŒÙ’ Ù„ÙŽØ§ Ø§ÙÙ„Ù°ÛÙŽ Ø§ÙÙ„Ù‘ÙŽØ§ Ú¾ÙÙˆÙŽØ§Ù„Ù’ØÙŽÛŒÙ‘Ù Ø§Ù„Ù’Ù‚ÙŽÛŒÙ‘ÙÙˆÙ’Ù…Ù ÙˆÙŽØ§ÙŽØªÙÙˆÙ’Ø¨Ù Ø§ÙÙ„ÙŽÛŒÙ’Û. Ø±ÙŽØ¨Ù‘ÙŽÙ†ÙŽØ§ Ø§ØºÙ’ÙÙØ±Ù’Ù„ÙŽÙ†ÙŽØ§ Ø°ÙÙ†ÙÙˆÙ’Ø¨ÙŽÙ†ÙŽØ§ ÙˆÙŽØ§ÙØ³Ù’Ø±ÙŽØ§ÙÙŽÙ†ÙŽØ§ ÙÙÛŒÙ’Ù“ Ø§ÙŽÙ…Ù’Ø±ÙÙ†ÙŽØ§ ÙˆÙŽØ«ÙŽØ¨ÙÙ‘ØªÙ’ Ø§ÙŽÙ‚Ù’Ø¯ÙŽØ§Ù…ÙŽÙ†ÙŽØ§ ÙˆÙŽØ§Ù†Ù’ØµÙØ±Ù’Ù†ÙŽØ§ Ø¹ÙŽÙ„ÙŽÛŒ Ø§Ù„Ù’Ù‚ÙŽÙˆÙ’Ù…Ù Ø§Ù„Ù’Ú©Ù°ÙÙØ±ÙÛŒÙ’Ù†ÙŽ. Ø±ÙŽØ¨Ù‘ÙŽÙ†ÙŽØ§ Ø¸ÙŽÙ„ÙŽÙ…Ù’Ù†ÙŽØ¢ Ø§ÙŽÙ†Ù’ÙÙØ³ÙŽÙ†ÙŽØ§ ÙˆÙŽØ§ÙÙ†Ù’ Ù„Ù‘ÙŽÙ…Ù’ ØªÙŽØºÙ’ÙÙØ±Ù’Ù„ÙŽÙ†ÙŽØ§ ÙˆØªÙŽØ±Ù’ØÙŽÙ…Ù’Ù†ÙŽØ§ Ù„ÙŽÙ†ÙŽÚ©ÙÙˆÙ’Ù†ÙŽÙ†Ù‘ÙŽ Ù…ÙÙ†ÙŽ Ø§Ù„Ù’Ø®Ù°Ø³ÙØ±ÙÛŒÙ’Ù†ÙŽ. Ø³ÙØ¨Ù’ØÙŽØ§Ù†ÙŽÚ©ÙŽ Ø§Ù„Ù„Ù‘Ù°Ú¾ÙÙ…Ù‘ÙŽ Ø±ÙŽØ¨Ù‘ÙŽÙ†ÙŽØ§ÙˆÙŽØ¨ÙØÙŽÙ…Ù’Ø¯ÙÚ©ÙŽ Ø§ÙŽÙ„Ù„Ù‘Ù°Ú¾ÙÙ…Ù‘ÙŽ Ø§ØºÙ’ÙÙØ±Ù’Ù„ÙÛŒÙ’ ÙˆÙŽØ§Ø±Ù’ØÙŽÙ…Ù’Ù†ÙÛŒÙ’.

Ù„Ø§ Ø§Ù„Û Ø§Ù„Ø§ Ø§ï·²ØŒ Ù„Ø§ Ø§Ù„Û Ø§Ù„Ø§ Ø§ï·²ØŒ Ù„Ø§ Ø§Ù„Û Ø§Ù„Ø§ Ø§ï·² Ù…ØÙ…Ø¯ Ø±Ø³ÙˆÙ„ Ø§ï·²

Ø§Ù„Ù„Ú¾Ù… ØµÙ„ Ø¹Ù„ÛŒÙ° Ø³ÛŒØ¯Ù†Ø§ Ù…ØÙ…Ø¯ ÙˆØ§Ù„Û ÙˆØµØØ¨Û ÙˆØ¨Ø§Ø±Ú© ÙˆØ³Ù„Ù… ØªØ³Ù„ÛŒÙ…Ø§ Ú©Ø«ÛŒØ±Ø§ Ú©Ø«ÛŒ

report post quote code quick quote reply

+2 -0Like x 2

Abdur Rahman ibn Awf

Unspecified

Sister

#12 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd November 2015 20:28

JazakAllah for all the replies, all of them had been very useful for me. May Allah reward you all for the advice given. Ameen.
His gambling has started when he was a teenager, his family is well respected in our small town. We have tried to involve our imam but sadly my husband refused the help so the imam has left the problem. I would only suppose that he gambles out of boredom as he's not at work for over 6years, so easy money from benefits probably encourage him more to gamble. He does I'm sure want to stop but his guilt, pride and stubbornness are against him. He has closed himself with his thoughts and feelings and it's hard to know what does he really want. I am only a simple human being that has been hurt by the closest person that should be, not a professional counsellor or physiatrist. I simply don't know how can I tell him it's time for a real change. I know only him can change only if he wants but waiting for that moment which might never come is so hard. To even carry on with your normal daily routine is a challenge. I will do inshaAllah all the praying you suggested. JazakAllah once more for excellent advices.

report post quote code quick quote reply

+1 -0Like x 1

Leenah

Unspecified

3,416

Brother

3,778

#13 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd November 2015 21:39

The following is the most popular book on the Market dealing with Compulsive Gambling, I have not read it myself but judging by the reviews the methods have helped a lot of people quit, And Allah knows best www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Problem-Gambling-Compulsive-G...

The following is one of the reviews..!

By N. Marangakison 9 November 2010

"If you are trying to support someone with a gambling addiction this IS the book for you, if you are someone that is trying to overcome your own gambling problems look no further.
After many years of trying to come to terms with , and understand gambling addiction with all of its twists and turns , this book as enabled me to feel included not only in the gamblers recovery but my own.
Hats of to the author and his beloved for sharing their journey with us."

report post quote code quick quote reply

+1 -0Informative x 1

Abdur Rahman ibn Awf

Unspecified

653

Brother

571

#14 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd November 2015 09:08

Sister,
Send you husband in jamaat for 40 days/4 months. Once he goes in the path of Allah and spends his time properly, he will become a precious GEM (coz once he steps out Allah forgive his sins, good things enter his hearts, he gives dawah and brings good things in his life). You send him and make consistent dua for him.

Contact your mahram ones like Dad, brother, or any Tabligh involved sister in your locality & ask someone to visit your husband and take him out.

report post quote code quick quote reply

+0 -0Agree x 1Disagree x 1

..Allah's friends were consistent in Tahajudd and Quran Tilawat..

Unspecified

Sister

#15 [Permalink] Posted on 24th November 2015 21:00

Yesterday night he found out that me and his sister were talking about him on the phone and he got very angry and started to shout, said he will smash my phone in pieces, went downstairs took a knife and started threatening me he will kill me, stabbed the mattress only little bit away from me, shouting to get out of the house, he will not change and he wants all his money back into his account, I started to cry so much that in the end he lay down and fell asleep.today he said to give him 20 pounds but I said I will not give him money to gamble and waste it, again he took knife and threw the pushchair at me hurting my nose, he then said to go and get 20 pounds from his mum(they keep his money) and swinging the knife in front of me I had no choice but go.after I came back he's not said anything to me. I won't write he's saying very bad words, wishing me death, and other very hurtful things. I am a calm person so I don't shout back to him much but today I did shout I will call police. I am scared. I'm acting in front of him calmly and pretend I'm not scared but what if he really does something....what would you suggest? It's not first time it happend but it's getting worse and more scary. I've got a bruise on my hand and that must be from yesterday nights fight as he did strangle me aswell. His dad says wait and see what happens, his sister doesn't know what to do. He needs money and when he doesn't get them that's what he does. He makes mess in the house, throws spices and food on the floor, breaks doors, walls.....mad things....just to get money. I don't know what to do.

report post quote code quick quote reply

+1 -0Informative x 1

Leenah

My husband is a compulsive gambler

Font Size

Font Weight