Arguing with people is strongly discouraged in Islam. We are to state our point of view and then leave it at that. Nor are we to involve ourselves in matters that do not affect a person's deen. Note that a person is to shun argument whether he is in the right or whether his stand is wrong. Both get houses built for them in Paradise. But since the person who knows that he is right finds it more difficult to leave the argument and let things be, he/she is promised a greater reward.
Arguing with people rarely gets anyone to change their minds. It usually only produces defensiveness and creates ill feelings between people. The issue becomes a matter of one's ego and makes it more difficult for a person to change their stance. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) loves to have Muslims live harmoniously with each other. Try this hadith out in practice, and you will see that your relations improve with people and that you have greater peace of mind.
we should settle our disputes from the quran
I heard the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) saying, "Read the Quran, for it will come as an intercessor for its reciters on the Day of Resurrection." [Sahih Muslim]
This hadith tells us one of the many benefits of reciting the Quran and acting upon it. The Day of Judgement will be extremely hot for sinners and 50,000 years long. The fear that will grip people will be so severe that it will produce in them a drunk like condition. People will be desperate for an intercessor, to save them from the Fire of Hell.
On that Day, none will intercede except whom Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) grants permission to, and Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) will allow the Quran to do so. The Quran will be endowed with the power of speech and it will request Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) to forgive the sins of its reciters who acted upon its teachings. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) will accept the request of the Quran, as signified in other ahadith.
Another hadith states: "The Quran and the people who applied it, will be brought on the Day of Resurrection preceded with Surah Al-Baqarah and Surah Al-e-Imran arguing on behalf of those who applied them." [Sahih Muslim] Let's increase our chances of being saved from the Fire of Hell, by reciting the Quran and applying its teachings to our lives.
and have taqwa in settling our disputes
Narrated Umm Salama (radi Allahu anha), the wife of the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam): "Allah's Messenger heard some people quarrelling at the door of his dwelling. He came out and said, 'I am only a human being, and opponents come to me (to settle their problem); may be someone amongst you can present his case more eloquently than the other, whereby I may consider him true and give a verdict in his favour. So if I give the right of a Muslim to another by mistake, then it is only a portion of (Hell) Fire, he has the option to take it or give it up (before the Day of Resurrection).'" [The Book of Al-Mazalim: Sahih Bukhari]
This hadith reminds us of the importance of taqwa in settling disputes. The judgment of the judge is subject to the evidence brought before him and the eloquence of the disputing parties. The judge might, therefore, make a mistake in his judgment. However, each party knows what the truth is. Just because a judge ruled in one party's favour does not give that party the right to take what the judge gave him. If he takes something he knows is not his or he does not deserve, he will be punished for it. The form of punishment will be that he will appear on the Day of Judgement weighed down from carrying the unjustly acquired thing (land, property, animals) on his neck.
Another hadith says that even if a single handspan of land is acquired unjustly then the usurper will have his neck encircled with the weight of seven earths on the Day of Resurrection. [The Book of Al-Mazalim: Sahih Bukhari] Therefore, the judge should remind the parties to have taqwa and remind them about the accountability they will face before Allah (subhana wa ta'ala).
These days the excellence of a lawyer is judged by his/her glibness and their ability to win their client's case; while a lawyer's lobbying for injustice makes him/her a part of the injustice. Their arguing in favour of an oppressor or usurper will make them also carry the burden of the seven earths for their promotion of sin and injustice. All parties -- clients, lawyers, judges -- need to have taqwa of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) in settling disputes, rather than wait for Allah's judgement to descend on them.
and by arguments we may hurt someone and it is forbidden to hurt someone
Allah created the human being in the best of forms. He made him benefit from what is in the sky and Earth. He endowed upon him a mind, tongue, lips, eyes and ears so that one uses these organs in the accepted way to please Allah, i.e., to obey him and perform obedience to Him.
Allah, ta^ala, said in the Qur'an:
وصوركم فأحسن صوركم وإليه المصير
Wa sawwarakum fa'ahsana suwarakum wa ilayhil-masir.
Ayah 3 of Suratut-Taghabun means:
Allah created you having a good shape. To Him is the return.
Allah gave the Muslim a merit over others, because he has fulfilled the greatest obligation, which is believing in Allah and stating that Allah is clear of having partners.
The Muslim has several rights. The Religion has urged us to respect the Muslim and not to demean him.
The Religion also made hurting a Muslim a sin for which one deserves to be punished. If one gossips about another without an excuse one commits a sin of the tongue. If one hits him unrightfully, then one commits a sin of the body, and so forth.
Some of the sins that one must avoid:
Among the sins of the heart: arrogance, enmity, and envy.
Among the sins of the eye: looking down on a Muslim.
Among the sins of the tongue: mocking a Muslim. Likewise, every word, action, or sign that causes harm to a Muslim is a sin. Also, laughing at him with the purpose of making fun of him in a way that hurts him is sinful.
The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, said:
بحسب امرئ من الشر أن يحقر أخاه
Bihasbi-mri'im minash-sharri ay yahqira akhah.
Which means: "Belittling one's fellow Muslim is an act of great evil." (Narrated by Muslim.)
Among the sins of the hand: Hitting a Muslim without a right. Likewise, scaring him, and pointing a weapon at him.
Among the sins of the foot: to walk towards committing a sin, such as walking to the ruler to inflict harm unjustly on a Muslim.
Among the sins of the body: to imitate the believer mockingly, even if this was by saying, action, or sign.
Allah, ta^ala, said:
يا أيها الذين آمنوا لا يسخر قوم من قوم
Ya ayyuhal-ladhina amanu la yaskhar qawmum min qawm.
Ayah 11 of Suratul-Hujurat means:
O believers, do not mock one another.
Mocking a Muslim can be by laughing at him if he makes a mistake while talking, or laughing at his actions or his appearance. The believer should love his Muslim brother and be kind to and help him.
The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, said:
مثل المؤمنين في توادهم وتراحمهم وتعاطفهم كمثل الجسد الواحد إذا اشتكى منه عضو تداعى له سائر الجسد بالحمى والسهر
Mathalul-mu'minina fi tawwaddihim wa tarahumihim wa ta^atufihim mathalul-jasadil-wahid(i), idhashtaka minhu ^udwun tada^a lahu sa'irul-jasadi bis-sahari wal-humma.
Which means: "The Muslims with their mutual love, mercy and care are like the body: when one of its parts is ill, all of the other parts join to share the sleeplessness and fever." (Narrated by al-Bukhariyy and Muslim.)
