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I'm not comfortable with cousins marrying

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#61 [Permalink] Posted on 31st August 2012 10:06
does islam encourage marrying within cousins? as far as i know it doesnt.
does islam encourage marrying multiple wives? as far as i know it doesnt.

many ulama actually discourage marrying multiple wives due to reasons such as problems occuring in the future between the wives and the children from each wife etc. that does not mean they prohibit multiple wives. they just point out the problems.

in the same way, what is wrong with pointing out the problems of marrying within cousins? as long as it is not prohibited, there is nothing wrong with discouraging it, in the same way that some ulama discourage multiple wives due to the problems it may cause.

no one is saying multiple wives are haram... but it might not be the best option for all.
no one is saying marrying cousins is haram... but it might not be the best option for all.

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#62 [Permalink] Posted on 31st August 2012 11:15
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many Ulama actually discourage marrying multiple wives due to reasons such as problems occuring in the future between the wives and the children from each wife etc. that does not mean they prohibit multiple wives. they just point out the problems.
[/quote]This is incorrect. Ulamaa should neither encourage nor discourage marrying more than one. Individual advice for a single person is understandable but generally it cannot be encouraged or discouraged as the Qur'aan has already given the advice clearly. And the Qur'aan neither gives permissibility and advice but not encouragement or discouragement (that it's better, more rewarding or worse).

Also to discourage something which might actually be a better option because "it might cause problems" would ultimately lead to discouraging all marriages entirely because which marriage comes problem free? Even when husband and wife are too perfect and problem free, there's tension from other family members for tiny little minute things from Shaytaan. So " due to reasons such as problems occuring in the future between the wives and the children from each wife etc" is also not correct. This one sentence has merely showed a flaw in the permissibility of an act that's not just permissible but practiced by the prophet and Sahaabah.

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in the same way, what is wrong with pointing out the problems of marrying within cousins?
Why? Why not use the same energy to point problems in love marriages? Or marrying non-relatives? Or marrying other races? Or marrying someone older? Or marrying someone much much younger? The problem is all marriages are equally the same and have an equal chance of breaking apart. The cause of break ups are the individuals and those who cause the break up.

What can be pointed out is when families take marrying cousins too far. I know of familes who almost break ties with the daughters if they were to marry outside the family. This action can be pointed out. There are families who mentally drain the daughters into marrying a relative. This can be pointed out.

And finally, [quote]no one is saying multiple wives are haram... but it might not be the best option for all.
no one is saying marrying cousins is haram... but it might not be the best option for all.
This is correct but again, it's one sided. I know you're probably trying to make it sound like we're mutual but your entire post has indirectly made it out to be a "bad thing".. the above would have been more suitable as

no one is saying multiple wives are haram... but it might not be the best option for all.
no one is saying multiple wives is compulsory... but it might be the best option for some.
no one is saying marrying cousins is haram... but it might not be the best option for all.
no one is saying marrying cousins is compulsory... but it might be the best option for some.
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#63 [Permalink] Posted on 31st August 2012 13:00
okay.

i am not against polygny.

i am not against marrying cousins.

and i am not against all the other methods of marriage which are allowed in islam.

all i am saying is even though it is allowed, it may not be the best option for everyone, and better for some people to avoid.

i am not against halal chocolate. but it is better for a diabetic not to eat halal chocolate.

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#64 [Permalink] Posted on 31st August 2012 15:04
I think you missed the entire point. You also for some reason assumed I said you're against permitted things. So I'll use your last sentence to explain and maybe you might just simply 'agree' instead of complicating and stirring the thread away from topic.

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i am not against Halal chocolate. but it is better for a diabetic not to eat Halal chocolate.


Now if I said this as "i am not against Halal chocolate but it is better not to eat it because of future possibilities of diabetes", would it be valid?

Your first post was giving wrong advice and information although with correct intentions. It is important we do not belittle the laws of the Qur'aan by saying it causes problems because the acts do not, the individuals do. Once again, I am not saying you intended that but if you read it again, you might just understand and see what I am talking about inshaAllah. Wallahu A'lam
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#65 [Permalink] Posted on 31st August 2012 16:41
Yasin wrote:


Now if I said this as "i am not against Halal chocolate but it is better not to eat it because of future possibilities of diabetes", would it be valid?


yes it would be if there was some history of diabetes in your family.

in the same way if there is a history of problems with very close cousins marrying then it would be best to avoid this.
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#66 [Permalink] Posted on 31st August 2012 21:26
I think there's nothing left to be said on this topic.

Nothing useful any way.

Can admin lock this topics???
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#67 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd October 2012 00:06
Naudhubillah! what is the world coming to??! What a topic to be debating about. The beloved prophet sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam married zainab binte jahsh radiAlllahu anha who was also the cousin sister of the prophet sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam from his paternal side. So does that mean that, naudhubillah, my habeeb alayhi ssalaam committed an act which is apparently incest???? Nabi kareem sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam has stated; "man raghiba ann sunnati fa laysa minni"........ If you're not comfortable with such things keep it to yourself, there is no need in discussing such things and you should be careful in how you word things or even the things you say as through your words you could be sinful of indirectly discriminating the words or actions of the prophet sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam or even the sahabas radiAllahu anhum ajmaeen.......
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#68 [Permalink] Posted on 8th November 2012 11:36
This person is causing a Fitnah...... Us eu and uk all around you see is people committing zina ...... Secondly you have a problem my brother may Allah give you hidayah ..... Your problem is you have been brain washed ..... If science is sooo good why don't they move the clouds from the eu and uk and move it to Africa as people are dying of famin but the cant because there is someone else who controls that system and that is ALLAH and he will move when he wants ..... Commiting zina with your cousins is not incest .... Looking at your sister with a bad intention is not incest and to marry your cousin is incest? When science says that two people started life so that makes every human brother and sister so therefore you're saying even if you marry a random women she is your sister ...... Is that your point ..... Some people have misconception and they blame religion ..... If your family does something which is against Islam doesn't mean every Muslim follows that ...... Correct your beliefs and not assume others have the same belief
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#69 [Permalink] Posted on 26th June 2013 11:22
lol dude you mentioned that if this does not stop we will be finished and have our selves to blame,
you are very ignorant, maaf but if you look at stats it shows that muslims have the highest fertility rate in the world.
so please do research before you make yourself look like a fool
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#70 [Permalink] Posted on 26th June 2013 11:43

This is the dumbest discussion I have ever seen. Marrying one’s cousin is something which is permissible, it isn’t mandatory! If someone wants to do it go ahead, if someone doesn’t; don’t!

It’s like Allah (SWT) has made thousands of foods permissible it doesn’t mean that I have to eat or like all of them! Some people like Broccoli some don’t it just means that  Broccoli is permissible for those who want to eat it and for those who don't like it well they don't have to eat it just because its permissable...

But its stupid to start arguing about the permissibility of Broccoli!

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#71 [Permalink] Posted on 3rd July 2013 21:35
salams to all...well lets put it in simple English..beef is allowed/halal...pork is not allowed/haram...now put 'this' halal in this equation...does any aalim/mufti "insists" on eating beef??? lols...give it a break folks..we "can" marry our cousins if we want...and science???lols science believed that earth was flat, and that too was not very long ago..science thought some time ago, that the light of moon was of itself but now its a fact that moon reflects the light of another body.....im not against science cause science is also a part of our Great Religion..lols nor im saying that we should only marry our cousins..just wanna say a bit more on this. if im sick , I will go to a doctor not scientist. if I know whats wrong about my health specifically, ill go to a specialist doctor. if I have any doubts about Islam or its principles I should go to a specialist of the religion not just to encyclopedia britannica or start my own little thoughts..lastly, again halal means halal without any doubts of numbers of times...enuff said (blink)
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#72 [Permalink] Posted on 11th July 2013 22:33
Assalaamu alyakum


As a revert from a sikh family, i had my misconceptions regarding cousin marriages whilct growing up, this was only because i was not educated enough in the subject.

As i learnt more about permissable marriages i gained the knowledge to understand that ALLAH is The One that Knows Best......

Things which ALLAH has clearly stated in the Holy Qura'an as halaal and haraam should not be questioned, neither should we assume our opinions to be correct against ALLAH's Divine Orders.

Respect Islam and its teachings and always be careful in what we say or do, read and write.

Everyone has opinions, it is just sometimes better to word your opinion in a less forceful and more respectful way..

I pray ALLAH gives us all hidayat, blesses us all with pious spouses and children, the best of health and eamaan and allow us to have a mu'mins death. Aameen
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#73 [Permalink] Posted on 12th July 2013 09:26
Ameen.I too pray may Allah grant us hidayat and grant hidayat to the brother who posted this thread before is too late. Before i came into islam myself I too had so many misconceptions abt islam. Infact nauzubillah i hated the religion. But after i revertd and went to madrasa and started doin my aalima course thats when i realized how wrong we take islam. Its a complete and easiest religion that covers every aspect of life.SUbahanallah. Sadly we see todays muslims and judge islam. Every command is full of wisdom.
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#74 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd April 2014 07:00
amin wrote:
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As-salamu alaikum

I don't think Under-active thyroid is something that has to do with disability; with regular medication they can live a normal and proper life just like anyone else.. Insha Allah!

Anyway I have two cousins who are mentally ill, unfortunately, one of them doesn't even talk, the other one (his brother) does and alhamdulilah although he's mentally like a 5 years old child (but phisically he's much much older) he's wise enough to understand that salah is fardh and sometimes he tries to pray and to memorize suar despite his huge difficulties, and nobody asked him.. he loves Allah and he's very religious masha Allah.
And their parents are not cousins.
May Allah protect them all and cure them! Ameen!

I have another cousin who's married to a cousin and they didnt know they were cousins when they married, they have 4 beautiful children masha Allah, and all of them are healthy..alhamdulilah. May Allah protect them. Ameen.

So dear OP how do you and your science explain this? May Allah guide you! Ameen!
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#75 [Permalink] Posted on 28th June 2015 14:51
[auth edit: too vile to display. Not suitable for humans]
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