Forum Menu - Click/Swipe to open
 

Step daughter & mental health

You have contributed 0.0% of this topic

Thread Tools
Appreciate
Topic Appreciation
To appreciate this topic, click 'Appreciate Topic' on the right.
Rank Image
Abdullah1234's avatar
Offline
Unspecified
6
Brother
9
Abdullah1234's avatar
#1 [Permalink] Posted on 8th October 2019 05:05
As Salaamualikom,

I have a step daughter who is mentally unhealthy. She is addicted to social media and loves to draw anime type cartoons. I recently married her mother who wasn’t practicing but is starting to practice.

Whenever I tell her something or advise her about something her whole mood changes and her eyes look like a jinn took her over. Recently when I took away her phone she started to cut herself. She has online friends who support gays and lesbians and I can’t stand it, but her mother allows her to use the schools iPad for 1 hour a day.

She has 2 other siblings who are very good MashaAllah. I just don’t know what to do with her. If I become too strict I’m afraid she might hurt herself even more.

Any advice and duas are much appreciated
report post quote code quick quote reply
No post ratings
back to top
Rank Image
abu mohammed's avatar
London
20,899
Brother
7,005
abu mohammed's avatar
#2 [Permalink] Posted on 8th October 2019 09:51
May Allah make it easy for you and the family.

Please take a look at this post Mental Health Issues

And also recite Astaghfirullah regularly, fo Allah will open up the doors which you thought were impossible

report post quote code quick quote reply
+2 -0Like x 2
back to top
Rank Image
Servant.Of.Allah's avatar
Offline
Unspecified
610
Brother
497
Servant.Of.Allah's avatar
#3 [Permalink] Posted on 8th October 2019 15:04
Considering your step daughter activities I assume that she is baaligh; she is not mahram for you.
report post quote code quick quote reply
No post ratings
back to top
Rank Image
abu mohammed's avatar
London
20,899
Brother
7,005
abu mohammed's avatar
#4 [Permalink] Posted on 8th October 2019 15:26
Servant.Of.Allah wrote:
View original post

Actually:

Question

Asalamualaikum wrwb. I hope you're well. Quick question.

Whats is the relationship between a step father and step daughter?

He married the girls mother when she was 6. She is now 16.

1. Is he a mahram? If so what are the limitations?
2. Is he financially responsible?
3. Must he act as a father figure?

JazakAllah khayr

Answer

GT2095

بِسْم الله

1. The daughter became his mahram once the marriage with the mother was consummated. However, because she is not his biological daughter, precaution must be taken where necessary . For example, he must not stay alone with her or travel alone with her if there is the slightest chance of misconduct or inappropriate behaviour.

2. He is not financially responsible for her. If the daughter is not earning, her biological father will be financially responsible for her. If he has passed away or is financially unable, then the responsibility is given to her next closest relative such as the brother, uncle and so on.

3. From an ethical perspective, he should treat her well, show her love and be kind to her just as he would want his own daughter to be treated.

Answered by Mufti Didar Hasan
(Taken from the Telegram [Mens] Q&A Group)
report post quote code quick quote reply
+2 -0Like x 2
back to top
Rank Image
abu mohammed's avatar
London
20,899
Brother
7,005
abu mohammed's avatar
#5 [Permalink] Posted on 8th October 2019 15:30
report post quote code quick quote reply
+1 -0Like x 1
back to top
Rank Image
bint e aisha's avatar
Offline
Unspecified
1,240
Sister
1,053
bint e aisha's avatar
#6 [Permalink] Posted on 8th October 2019 17:56
Assalamu alaikum

Instead of talking to her directly about her activities, you can ask her mother to deal with that. If she is a teenager then you will have to show more patience and hikmah. You may even start reading some deeni book with the family daily; it will contribute to her tarbiyah inshaAllah.
report post quote code quick quote reply
+3 -0Like x 3
back to top
Rank Image
Muadh_Khan's avatar
Offline
UK
9,558
Brother
8,018
Muadh_Khan's avatar
#7 [Permalink] Posted on 8th October 2019 19:51

Abdullah1234 wrote:
View original post

W-Salam,

May Allah Ta'ala bring ease to you an your entire family (Ameen).

This is only applicable if you are:

  1. Not a South african
  2. Live in some Western country, Europe, US, Canada, Aus, NZ etc

if not applicable, please ignore.

You cannot barge into a new family and start to suggest changes without having rock solid relationships with all concerned. If the mother does not se anything wrong with the situation then your intervention will damage your relationship.

Build a relationship with the mother and make her see your concerns.

Build a relationship with the whole family and make them all see your concerns.

Without above, you are just meddling into the lives of others and it is likely to backfire and damage your relationship

Depending on the past family life, the girl may have mental Health issues and not Jinn or black Magic. Young girls self-harm themselves many times and it has little to do with Jinn or Magic.



report post quote code quick quote reply
+1 -0Like x 1
back to top
Rank Image
Abdullah1234's avatar
Offline
Unspecified
6
Brother
9
Abdullah1234's avatar
#8 [Permalink] Posted on 8th October 2019 22:36
Jazakamullahu khairan to all who commented. I’ve found it to be very useful.
report post quote code quick quote reply
No post ratings
back to top
Rank Image
Muadh_Khan's avatar
Offline
UK
9,558
Brother
8,018
Muadh_Khan's avatar
#9 [Permalink] Posted on 9th October 2019 14:08

Abdullah1234 wrote:
View original post

All of our Duas are with you. Truly terrible situation and as fathers of young daughters many of us understand your pain but don't react without considering all possibilities.

May Allah Ta'ala bring ease and comfort to you and your entire family (Ameen).



report post quote code quick quote reply
+-1 -0Ameen x 4
back to top