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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 29th June 2019 15:13
Salaam

Alhamdulillah i am trying to follow the true Path. But i feel a changed person.The way i talk is different. The way i think or respond is changed. My all routine is completely or Mostly changed now.

I feel like a person with no strengthened roots. Or has empty past. I feel like came to world a few days ago and trying to mingle with different creatures. Which i have no idea how to deal.

I feel sad to see my friends and family talking confidently and has no doubts or no worries about their nafs or sins. They are all involved in dunia and with Worship too which they doing from day one. I feel like a freshie. This makes my confidence go down. Before that, few years ago. I was confident enough, no one could talk to me. Now i have reached to a point where i am busy with myself and i feel not confident. Will it be settled? And i will regain my confidence inshaAllah?

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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 30th June 2019 08:06
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Assalam o Alaikum,
Our roots are only Quran and Sunnah. Neither our past nor our family background or our culture.

After a very long time of pondering and experimenting. After a lot of trials and errors. I have myself finally come to this conclusion that if we start listening to everyone then we will get confused. The only thing which is perfect and without doubt are the authentic teachings of Quran and Sunnah with traditional understanding. We can have and must have full confidence in these teachings no matter what the world around us is telling. The socially disrupt, drug addict, criminal, depressive and suicidal western civilization which has rebelled against Allah and nature is enough ibrat for us to consider this fact that without Divine guidance no root is strong enough to benefit us in this life and the life here after.

If one is confident in one's wrongdoings then it is one's stupidity and foolishness. Shaitan has very craftily delusioned him into believing his sins as his good deeds.

Another conclusion, which I have reached is that it's no use thinking about what other people are doing. Just busy yourself in good amaal and keep on praying that good happens. We can only try. The result is not in our hands.

Noah AS was a prophet. But his wife and son was a kafir. They were family of a nabi and yet went to hell. Lut AS was a prophet and yet his wife was a kafir. Ibrahim AS was a prophet and yet his parents were kafir. So even the prophets had had difficulties with some of their family members. Even though they were special but still they were humans and with feelings.

There is a Maulana with whom I disagree on some major issues but he said in one of his bayans one thing and it got stuck to my heart. "Allah has not designed this dunia to be a paradise". Nothing is perfect here. Everything here can't happen according to our wishes. Some things may happen but many things may not. All we can do is try and pray. And this is what which makes us keep moving forward.

The real deal is not the problem. Problems are part of this dunia. The real deal is that how do we deal with those problems. If we are strong internally then we will bear the pain of these problems with patience and steadfastness. However, if we do not prepare our selves spiritually,physically and mentally then we will have a very hard time dealing with daily life situations.

My greatest concern is this secular education system which is unable to provide us the right tools in order to get prepared to face these challenges. It cannot teach us the true nature of this dunia. Instead, it just teaches us to get overwhelmed by the "supposed" greatness of western civilization and get into inferiority complex. It only teaches us the method of manufacturing and using machines. However, it is unable to teach us that how we should deal with other human beings and other creatures on this planet. It is unable to teach us good akhlaq. It is unable to teach us the right aqeeda. It is unable to teach us who is Allah and what does He want from us. It is unable to teach us about the true nature of akhirah. It is unable to teach us to ponder on this universe in a way that we finally reach to this conclusion that there is someone who is managing and running the affairs of this world. And if He can create this universe then He is capable of creating better and bigger world than this which is the world here after. This education system is unable to teach us that sleep is similar to death. That if fire and heat is possible then Jahannum is also possible. That if fruits of this world are possible then fruits of Jannah are also possible. That if women are possible then hoors are also possible. That if milk is possible then rivers of milk in Jannah are also possible. That if a man murders 100 people but is sentenced only for once then he has been punished for the murder of only one person. What about the other 99 murders he has committed. So it's logical that there is a Day of Judgement where he will get the punishment for rest of the 99 murders he committed. So the judicial system of this world is not perfect and it can't punish a person completely for his crimes. Therefore there must be a Judgement day. This education system is unable to teach us and make us realize all of it. Instead it teaches us to forget and rebel against Allah. To just focus on gathering material things. To just satisfy our lustful, animal wishes. To just be the slave of this Godless system. To be a robot who follows a certain routine, unable to think or ponder on the realities of this life and the life here after. Who has just a body to feed and nurture and no soul. Absorbing darkness upon darkness in our cold and timid hearts. From brainwashing in the "educational" or should better say indoctrination institutions to media. From very early childhood we have been fed this secular anti-God propaganda. Our heroes, our ulema have been demonized in our conscious by these secular monsters. And our plunderers and those colonialists rapists who have raped our civilization have been romanticized by these black sheep.

I apologize for my emotional outburst. I am not sure that whether I have successfully answered your question or have correctly understood what were you trying to say. But I hope, that I have given you some clue that what actually is wrong. If you are not married then it is my advice to you my sister that make sure that whenever you marry and whenever Insha Allah you have children. "Never ever send them to any educational institution". Instead home school them.

I don't know why people have limited education to certain buildings. To me this whole world is an academy. And we learn new things from it every day.
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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 30th June 2019 20:07
sipraomer wrote:
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Wasalaam

Thank you so much for the detailed reply. And no need of apologies. You helped me a lot brother back then. I came to this group for help, though i see no sister around still i couldn’t resist as i really wanted to take benefit of all your knowledge. Alhamdulillah i have got to learn more than I expected. May Allah give its ajar to all of you in abundance. Ameen.

I have got it clear from what you have said, that I have to kick out the WANT of winning back, others in my life. I feel good now as i was much worried to think about few (if not all) of family members, as to what they are responding to my change. But now i am relaxed.

To the secular education part. I would rather not disagree atm as i feel like i am not at that level of understanding. But I would share my point of view. Ilm is all from Allah. All these machines that we are taking benefits of, all these construction and architecture around is Kind of Ilm which is from Allah.

I heard there was a Companion who knew many languages, who was more in dunia how he was in for Akhira.

I myself when was in Uni came across a sister who was Hijabi, a medicine student. Her thoughts were much clear than other sisters that i have met previously. I loved rather enjoyed her company. I think education is just a tool or medium unless one doesn’t take it on their nerves. Still what you have suggested is a step that a non conformist or a person with much strong Iman could take. I am in very much beginning. But inshaAllah i will try much to keep myself involved in improving myself and my connection with Allah only then i will be able to take some big steps in general.

JazakAllah khair brother
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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 1st July 2019 05:37
Mashaallah you seem to have been blessed greatly.

Are you not bayt to a Shaikh? These questions you can direct to a Shaikh cant you?
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#5 [Permalink] Posted on 1st July 2019 07:22
How to deal with Difficult Situations

It's a sad reality that people of madaris, khanqahs, tabligh etc have ritualized the amaal of this beautiful deen. For instance, the tablighis have limited the Halaqa of Taleem to Fadhail Amaal alone where as recitation and translation of Quran can also be done taleem of. The Sufis have limited muraqba to just sitting still, closing one's eyes and thinking and focusing on the name Allah. However, I believe that pondering on anything can be called muraqba.

It is not enough to just recite the Quran with or without understanding. In fact, we have to download it's message in our subconscious. Apart from Spiritual Salah, there is another method of doing that which I have recently discovered. After almost a week of stress over something it dawned upon me the previous night that why don't I do the muraqba of Quran i.e. Reflecting upon certain verses and passages of Quran directly related to me and my life. Closing one's eyes if we reflect on verses related to us we can deprogram ourselves from the wrong aqaid indoctrinated to us by the secular institutions and then reprogram the right aqaid.

For instance, if someone is having difficulty with his stubborn parents then he can do the muraqbah of this ayah

"say not to them [so much as], "uff,"

If someone is feeling unfortunate and feeling jealousy for those who have more wealth then he can do the muraqbah of

"Then which of the favours of your Lord will you deny?"

If someone is feeling helpless then

"Allah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs (for us)"

Also it can be done for chapters too. You can summarize chapters and events discussed in the Quran in single statements. For example the story of Sayyidina Adam AS and Shaitan can be summarized like this.

"It was Shaitan's ego which destroyed him. So better keep a check on your's".

Also, you can expand the scope of muraqba beyond Quran and ponder upon any thought of hikmah. For example

"I have recognized Allah by the failures of my plans"

"Just keep on doing your work and be content with qadr of Allah"

"This dunia is not paradise so don't expect from it"

"And this, too, shall pass away"

"A man who has practiced one move for 1000 times is more dangerous than a man who knows 1000 moves practiced only for once."

In fact, Quran and Sunnah have all the solutions to our problems at individual as well as collective level. In order to develop the right attitude towards different life situations we must reflect on the teachings of Quran and Sunnah instead of just reading and roting it.

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#6 [Permalink] Posted on 1st July 2019 08:00
eastmidlands wrote:
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(salam)

I feel there are many pious elder sisters here like Mohtaram Khala (user ummitalib) whom she can keep in contact with.. & there are books to read..

Seriously speaking i wouldnt advice even a 70 yr old lady these days to keep contact with a shaikh.. Apologies if i offended anyone..

duas..

wa Assalam..
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#7 [Permalink] Posted on 1st July 2019 08:35
Jazakallah khairan dr sab
Please could you elaborate?
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#8 [Permalink] Posted on 1st July 2019 10:41
eastmidlands wrote:
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Today's environment is not safe and it is too difficult to know which is a true shaykh and which is a tharki(lustful, pervert) shaykh. And also, non mahrams should not be in contact with each other. It is better to maintain a safe and secure distance.

I also believe, that if we sincerely ask Allah for guidance then He guides the one who is asking with whichever means He seems fit. It is not the asbaab which are important but the One who is the originator of those asbaab.
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#9 [Permalink] Posted on 1st July 2019 12:06
eastmidlands wrote:
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(salam)

We have lost some good men over the past few years.. some whom Allah had blessed with Qur'an.. some with ilm.. some with Zikr.. and the reason they fell was either Power.. Fame.. wealth.. women or a combination of these.. they couldn't handle them and tripped..

A shaikh is only a mortal like the rest.. and shaytan keeps him marked as enemy number1 .. since he guides and inspires people towards Allah.. so the shaikh remains in his crosshairs all the time..

it is indeed a slippery road for the Shaikh.. one step missed and all comes down.. hundreds and affected.. and 'Trust' being the most severe victim..

Even in the past when Mashaikh did take bayat of women very strict precautions were taken..

And things have gone far worse with modes of communication made easy..

So a humble suggestion to close the doors (of fitnah) altogether .. let these Shuyookh do their work..

(Apologies to OP for derailing the thread)

wa Assalam..
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#10 [Permalink] Posted on 1st July 2019 19:48
eastmidlands wrote:
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No i have not. Nor I know anyone to get intouch with. If I get to know, i am afraid that i will do promise and wont be able to complete it later on.
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#11 [Permalink] Posted on 1st July 2019 19:50
sipraomer wrote:
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JazakAllah khair brother this is much of help. Thanks alot
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#12 [Permalink] Posted on 1st July 2019 20:24
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Yes brother i am in contact with sister Ume Taalib Alhamdulillah and she is toooo good and guiding me like a family. But i bring here some questions to get multiple replies so i can have many views to to collect and to get much clear about the topic. And Thanks for your kind suggestion.
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#13 [Permalink] Posted on 1st July 2019 20:46
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I agree with you. Though i have not much knowledge but my family has same thoughts in this regard. And because of what i have observed in my life few of the cases that I witnessed. That pushed me away from contacting someone who have not been recommended by someone. Thats why i had no other way to contact anyone offline, except this forum but Alhamdulillah i got all the help that i wanted.
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#14 [Permalink] Posted on 2nd July 2019 06:42
Muslimah S wrote:
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I believe that negative thoughts and stress is a kind of negative energy which blocks the channels of our soul. When we are exposed to heat or do exercise our body sweats and through that toxins are released. Similarly our soul also needs exercise. Muraqbah is one of the Spiritual Exercises. When we do muraqbah and build a strong connection with Allah and focus on positive thoughts, then those positive thoughts get stuck to our subconscious. Which eventually make us react to different life situations in a certain and healthy way. Also, when tears come out of our eyes out of ecstasy and joy during deep meditation, that also releases stress.
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#15 [Permalink] Posted on 2nd July 2019 06:49
Muslimah S wrote:
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Quote:
Ilm is all from Allah. All these machines that we are taking benefits of, all these construction and architecture around is Kind of Ilm which is from Allah.


Just to clarify one point. I am not against science and technology. If I were, I wouldn't have been using internet to communicate with others. However, my concern is the wrong ideology and aqaid taught in secular institutions. The materialistic and anti god mindset which is indoctrinated there. And the lack of tools which could enhance our understanding about true nature of this dunia and importance of akhirah. This is the thing which I am against.

If we know how to ignite fire but we don't know it's proper use then it will harm us and others. Similarly, if we don't know the right and peaceful use of technology then that technology will destroy us. Not because technology itself is bad but because of our lack of ability to use it for a greater purpose. Secular education is unable to tell us that "Purpose". Technology is being used to make our life more leisurely instead of making us productive and better Muslims.

We can learn the purpose only through the teachings of Quran and Sunnah which unfortunately are not taught in secular institutions. This is the point which I was trying to make.

So before, we become technical humans we must become morally and ethically better humans. So this is why I prefer homeschooling for children where a balanced and practical curriculum is taught by educated parents having the benefit of love and devotion plus avoiding the company of bad peers. After that, I prefer skilled based education instead of theoretical degree based education. This way young men and women can start their own small scaled businesses and would be free from job oriented slave like life.
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