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It seems the more I make dua, the worse things get.

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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 13th December 2018 23:36
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

My son fell ill in the last week of ramadhan. Then my best friend died after lying on his death bed for over a year. I have not even had a chance to mourn him and then my son was diagnosed with an incurable illness. Since ramadhan I have been depressed, ripped up, and completely worn out. Tonight I have found out that my son may have another incurable illness on top of the other illness! I have been giving sadaqah. Constantly doing dhikr and making dua throughout the day. Praying tahajjud. But things just seem to be getting worse and worse. If I didn't have to look after my wife and children I would have completely given up and gone mad. My whole life I have been bashed from one rock to the other since I was a child. If anything else happens I don't think I will be able to cope.

Please ask Allah to stop now. Maybe Allah will accept your duas.

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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 00:45
May Allah ta ala turn all your hardships into ease give you aafiyat turn your sufferings into happiness give you best of dunya and best of aakhirah. Ameen.
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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 00:55
My son was born with health issues. A year later he was again diagnosed with a 'non-curable' rare illness. 2 years after again something else completely unrelated. Someone recommended we go see a student of bin Haleema. Turns out he had some effect (through me). Alhamdulillah, we have been doing daily ruqya for over 2 years and the doctors are constantly surprised as to how well he is doing without medication (we were told he would not survive without heavy medication, until they were even about to start chemo). At the end of it I believe without a doubt there is cure in the Holy Quraan.
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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 01:11
xs11ax wrote:
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May Allah remove all the distress and elevate your ranks through them. Keep strong

‏﴿١٥٥﴾ وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصّٰبِرِينَ


‏﴿١٥٦﴾ ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصٰبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رٰجِعُونَ


‏﴿١٥٧﴾ أُو۟لٓئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوٰتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ ۖ وَأُو۟لٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُهْتَدُونَ
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#5 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 04:26
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There was a little book. A little book with green color in urdu. It was titled "Hazrat Ali RA ney farmaya". "The Sayings of Syiddina Ali RA". In that book there was a saying (paraphrasing) "When a person is faced with constant hardships for very long then it means Allah is going to grant that person a greater position(maqaam)".

Look how much difficulties the anbiya as, the sahaba, the tabaieen, the taba tabaieen and great men in history (muslims as well as non muslims) have gone through.

There is another saying of Sayyidina Ali RA (paraphrasing)"When in difficult times a man moves away from Allah then it is punishment but if a person comes close to Allah then it is a test".

My Personal Experience Dedicated to Brother xs11ax (Am sharing only because of you. It may help)

I have faced clinical depression for almost 10+ years and because of it I couldn't complete my studies. My family, relatives, neighbors, criticized me to death because of ignorance of this disease. Sometimes I felt like committing suicide. However, I firmly believe that Allah has bestowed me some understanding and practice of deen (Alhamdulillah) because of the hardship I faced in my childhood and teenage.

Because of this experience, and many other observations, I have come to this conclusion that the only single most problem of humans as a whole is spiritual sickness and immaturity. Stubbornness, Anger, Impatience, Doubt, Negative and Destructive Criticism, Lust, all of this internal degradation of self has resulted in the outer ugliness of the current condition of this world. When I daily see people of different walks of life, complaining about everything and blaming others for their shortcomings, I completely understand what their real problem is. Satan makes a fool of them by making them believe that lack of resources or material things or this or that is the problem. Where as , I can clearly see that their connection to Allah is weak and their soul is not satisfied and this state of "Lawwamaness" is disturbing them but because of the lack of understanding of deen, they wrongly believe that their problems can be solved by getting this thing or gaining that position or doing this or that.

Salah, dhikr, tilawah all of these acts of worship are to strengthen our soul so that we could face the hardships of life and remain steadfast. Tazkiyah increases the quality of these acts of worship. The more purified our soul is from sins and wrongdoings, the more healthy it will be and more receptive it will be to the blessings gained by acts of worship. This is why we need the company of GENUINE auliah.

I used to feel helpless and used to think "Why me?" What have I done? I am not a bad person? Then why me? However, now I thank Allah that he made me face that experience. Because of this experience I have developed empathy for the vast number of humans on this earth who don't know what true happiness is and it is my urge to tell them and show them the good feelings I am feeling after practicing a little bit of deen. I cannot explain you how happy I am from the inside now. I wish I could inject this happiness in everyone. However, things don't work this way. It's not the events of life which are easy or difficult. It's our inner condition which makes us feel that these events are easy or difficult. The more inner strength we have, the more we are able to deal the hardships of life nicely and appropriately.

Power of Thought (We must not underestimate it)

I have been thinking on this for quite a while. If a person thinks positively, his strengths are capitalized and with little resources he can achieve more. On the other hand negative thinking (ache khaase bande ka bera gharak kar deti hai) makes a man hopeless even if he has many positive things to be thankful for and many strengths to utilize in order to achieve a goal.

This is why, whenever I see negative people who do destructive criticism to satisfy their own inferiority complex, I leave the company of these people. This is why I love Tablighi brothers, that over all they are positive people and they encourage the good in you by telling fadhail. I sincerely love these guys, despite of some differences. We all have shortcomings and no one is perfect. As long as they don't undermine other efforts of deen, I can tolerate their other shortcomings. If they start accepting other efforts of deen then I still consider that this jamaat is a great blessing and gift of Allah.

There are many things for us to be thankful for. You brother are living in the developed part of this world with resources which many of the humans on this earth cannot even dream of. Look, at the people of Ethiopia who are facing famine for decades. Look at the people of Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Yemen who are in a state of civil war. Look at the Muslims of Burma and Turkistan(China). Look at those parents whose children have been burnt alive because of daisy cutter bombs dropped from above at their homes. Look at the mujahideen feeling torture in Guantanamo Bay and Abu Gharaib. I guess, then your pain will lessen.

Yes! I know that you may think my words to be bookish. Yes! I have two children and I also understand the condition of a parent when his/her child is in trouble. I don't know whether my words will help you or not. However, let me assure you that if you keep patient and steadfast, Allah will grant you a very high level of sainthood. I can promise you this thing but only if you believe and remain steadfast.

"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient," (2:155)

Some days ago a friend of mine, a fellow namazi was facing depression. I was telling him the same things. People think that they know what their problem is but it is the trickery of satan. It is the inner loneliness of the soul. The guilty conscious. We promised Allah in Alam e Arwah that we will not worship anyone but Him. He is testing us in this world. We have forgotten that promise because of the dust of sins and bad environment of this world. This is why I say that Khilafah is badly needed so the state creates an environment where open sin is impossible and the ideal environment for doing good deeds and practicing deen is created. Anbiya AS came to remind us that we promised so we must act according to it. Until and unless we don't act upon what we promised , we will be unhappy no matter what worldly blessings we have. If we are happy from the inside then outer hardships will not effect us so intensely.

The reason for all trouble on earth, for all wars and suffering is that people have lost sight of their Lord’s Will behind all events. They have lost sight of the hand of the One Who is testing them through those events. They have stopped seeing events as tests from their Lord. Therefore they continue failing those tests.

"Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near." (2:214)

In his must read book "Tareekh e Dawat o Azeemat", Shaykh Abul Hasan Ali Nadvi RH quotes a part of a speech of the great saint, Shaykh Abdul Qadir Jilani Rh.




And remember this thing that the price of paradise is pain.

And also , greatness comes after suffering.
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#6 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 04:56
Rough translation of the images I shared above

“When a person gets into trouble, he strives to get out of it. If he is unable to do so, he asks for help from the creation. For example, the king, leaders, the rich and influential people, doctors etc. When the creation also fails to help that person then he turns his attention to Allah and makes dua with sincerity and devotion and praises his lord.

Hence, when he is able to help himself, he doesn’t turn to makhlooq and when the makhlooq is able to help then he doesn’t turn to Allah and when Allah out of his hikmah also doesn’t help him immediately then he leaves his fate in Allah’s hands and keeps on asking him, keeps on crying in front of him, keeps on having hope for his help and mercy. Then Allah tires him from dua, and doesn’t accept his dua. Then this person leaves all the asbaab.

This is the stage when the qadr of Allah activates. Now this man has left all the results to the will of Allah. Now he attained a high level of yaqeen and he has now become satisfied with the will of Allah. Now he has fully realized this reality that only Allah is the doer of things and no one but only He can bring hardships and solve them too. Only Allah has success and failure, happiness and sadness, good and evil, ease and hardship, profit and loss, mercy and wrath, life and death and no one is to be worshiped but Him and no one is like Him. In this condition of self awareness and insight this man becomes like an infant in the hands of his mother who deals with him as she likes and this infant is unable to respond and resist her actions. In this condition a person feels himself like a puppet of Allah. He always, talks of him, thinks of him, gets pleasure in his blessings and awareness, feels his love. He has firm faith on his lord. Allah reveals the divine knowledge and guidance through alqaa (intuition) on his servant. Then his servant thanks him for his blessings. ”

Nafs e Amaarrah is the stage of ignorance.
Nafs e Lawwamah is the stage of awakening.
Nafs e Mutmainnah is the stage of realization and settlement.

Every momin’s goal is to reach the stage of Nafs e Mutmainnah.

This is why a true Shaykh is necessary and this is why his tawajjoh, his guidance and tazkiya of nafs (soul) is necessary.

Deen daleel nahin balkey deen ishq hai.

Islam is not an academic exercise. It is a practical experience. It is love. Intense love.

La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah La ilaha illallah

Allah is preparing us for the upcoming events. They will be more difficult, harsher, uglier. We must not lose faith. We must gain more strength on all costs. If we can't resist evil today, how can we resist evil tomorrow?
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#7 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 05:25
La ilaha illallah is the core principle upon which this universe is standing. When there would not remain even one person believing in it, the purpose of this universe will end and with it qiyamah will occur.

Every living and non living thing is reciting this kalima in it's own language (my thought).

I firmly believe that la ilaha illallah is the key to true happiness and success in both of the worlds. And Muhammad ar Rasoolullah SAWS is the way to get this key.
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#8 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 07:54
وعلیکم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل

Allah is sufficient for me and what a great agent He is!

You are saying your son is suffering from an incurable illness. You are wrong. There is no disease on earth which is incurable. Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

“Every disease has a cure. If a cure is applied to the disease, then it is relieved by the permission of Allah Almighty.” (Saheeh Muslim 2204)
(صدق رسول اللہ صلى الله عليه وسلم)

Qur'an and Sunnah provide us guidance in every aspect of our life. Look at the life of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم. He was abandoned by his own tribe. After three years of exile and starvation, his uncle and beloved wife died. People threw stones at him. His own people called him insane and sorcerer. His sons died in early childhood. Two of his daughters were given divorce. One daughter was harassed on a camel which led to miscarriage and eventually death. All of his children died in his lifetime apart from Fatima رضي الله عنها. His beloved uncle Hamza was martyred in Uhud. His companions were tortured and killed. He had to leave his birthplace Makkah. And all of this happened to the most noble of creation who was the most beloved of Allah ta'ala. Our problems are nothing compared to those suffered by Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم. We should find guidance and consolation in Qur'an and in the life of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم.

May Allah preserve and protect your children and grant your son kamil shifa.
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#9 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 08:25
xs11ax wrote:
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Allah grant him shifaa and give u sabr. reading what you wrote however i see the issue. our relationship with Allah is a total master / slave one not of two equals were for everything we do or dont do only then Allah can do what he wants or not.

why are you viewing theses tests as a bad thing? uv had a very hard yr which if it happened to me will also be upset but then lets look at ambiya. didnt rasoolullah ( saw) have his year of saddness? no revaltion for 3yrs, his wife and abu talib dying. hadith mentions he even contemplated jumping off a mountain. just know evry hardship ur facing you are having ur sins taken away and status in jannah getting higher. if Allah does take ur son back then alhamdulillah see at Allah having purified him for any shortcomings so he can enter him into jannah immediatly.

Allah make things easy for you and entire ummah who are sufferings. ameen. its friday so dnt forget to do excessive darood and duas
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#10 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 08:39
I have been through a lot since I was a small child. I can almost guarantee I have been through more than everyone on this forum. I have not had a normal life. I doubt that all of this was from Allah as most of it was evil. I don't think there has ever been a period of my life where I have not been suffering in one form or another. It's a wonder that I have not gone mad. All of this suffering was on me and I learned to carry the burden. But now it's my son who is suffering. I don't know how long I can cope seeing my son suffer. I ask Allah to give my son my good health and to give me his bad health.
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#11 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 08:50
sipraomer wrote:
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I have been in a third world dungeon prison. I have been tortured in prison. I was in solitary confinement on death row waiting to get hanged. I wish I had got hanged. By some misfortune I was 'saved'. I would rather go through that again than what I'm going through now.
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#12 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 08:56
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I think I could handle death better than a life time of suffering. My friend who died just after ramadhan had multiple sclerosis. Last year of his life he couldn't move or do anything. He couldnt even talk. He just lay on a hospital bed for a whole year until he died. His death was easier than seeing him suffer.
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#13 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 08:57
bint e aisha wrote:
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I have been asking Allah to reveal the cure to me. But so far no one knows what the cure is.
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#14 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 09:02
without doubt its easier having sabr when ur suffering but when its ur child no human can bear it. i struggle to sleep if mine simply have common colds never mind something serious aa urs. but even then take it as a good omen. the prophet outlived all his children except fatima ra. yaqub AS lost yusuf AS. ibrahim AS almost lost ismail AS. im not gana pretend i know what ur feeling cos i dnt as iv never been tested like that but jus try look at it positively rather than why me. once u go down that route shaytan will play on it and make u feel despondent or Allah is unjust to you.
Maybe these tests arw reason why u r who u are today. many Allah gives easy lives to leave islam. take a look at gulf arabs
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#15 [Permalink] Posted on 14th December 2018 09:25
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I ask Allah to give my son my good health and to give me his bad health.


وعن عائشة رضي الله عنها قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ( إِذَا تَمَنَّى أَحَدُكُم فَلْيُكثِر ، فَإِنَّمَا يَسأَلُ رَبَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ ) رواه ابن حبان (2403)

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

"When one of you wishes for something, then let him increase (his wishes), for verily he is asking his lord, the most exalted and high."

Allah says:

"And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided."

Have faith in Allah. He is listening to you and will respond, just be patient. And Allah does not need your health to give your son shifa. He is able to do all things; it's just our narrow mind that thinks this way. Allah loves you and your child more than 70 mothers, and you know well how much you love your son as a father...can you imagine the love of 70 mothers?

He tests people in different ways and gives glad tidings to the patient. And remember with every difficulty there is ease. It is in Quran and Allah does not lie.
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