Bro my advice to u is this quote I read in a book by brother hamza tzortis. ' we have a pixel Allah has the entire picture'. Walah this is so true. Last few months iv had few issue not to ur standard but nevertheless difficulties. My younger son been diagnosed with autism and despite being 3 he still can't say any words plus other issues have popped up bt alhamdulilah wot I say is Allah has deffo given me more than he has taken. If i was to weigh up all the good he has blessed me with compared to the tests it would be an insult for me to even say iv had any difficulties.
Evry second ur kids suffer Allah is purifying them and you. You may not see its benefits today but on qiyamah ud wish you'd suffer more when you see what the most generous of the generous gives u. As for dua. Again no dua goes unanswered. I dnt knw hadith of memory but on qiyamah wen u see how the 'unanswered' duas are repaid ud again wish not a single dua of urs wer accepted.
Anyway may Allah giv you me all brothers and sisters on this forum and entire ummah aafiat. We don't and shouldn't ask for tests as we are weak but when faced may Allah give us sabr and istiqaamah. If u hav that u have more than bill Gates jeff beroz and the rest of them combined. Finally as imam awalki once said which benefited me alot when my dad passed away was when a calamity befalls u just remember the death of our master. All calamities will seem insignificant. Even though we wernt blessed to see him or live with him its still the biggest calamity i and we have faced. Allahumma salle alaa Muhammed wa alaa ale muhammed.