I was speaking to a friend recently and he has a high-level job where he to procure things for his organisation. The salesman for a vendor is “Jewish” and they both joke back and forth about “Muslim vs Jews” jokes in private.
Every few months the salesman comes in for a meeting and they negotiate millions of procurement and it gets heated, nasty, acrimonious, and uncomfortable and then the sale is finalised.
After the sale the Jewish guy said to him, “Khan! I am a Jew but fluffy teddy bear without eyes negotiated the hell out of this contract…Great job, congratulations….Are you sure that you are a Muslim or a Jew” and then go back to their normal (professional) relationship.
In my professional capacity, I disagree with someone on something few days a day and we discuss things back and forth and it is normal.
In my Islamic life, I have disagreed over minor things with Deobandees, my 7 year old daughter has been dragged into it, my mother (with cancer) has been brought into it…
The brothers asked me, “Why are Deobandees so sensitive over disagreements?” I have never understood that either.
You have a disagreement over an issue, why do people make it affect every aspect of their lives? EVEN IF YOU HAVE A DISAGREEMENT with someone on a single aspect why does it permeate your entire existence?
Over disagreements people fall out, they leave, they cease communication, they block, they become sarcastic etc.
When people get personal with me, I get personal back (harder) as I don’t have a choice. What do you want me to do when my mother and my daughter are dragged into WhatsApp groups? It is the same set of indiviuals who do this from group to group, on Facebook and Social Media and I have never understood their reasons.
Why do Deobandees/Salafees get personal OR break off communication over disagreements?
Last year, a Maulana sent me a very sarcastic message so I called and asked him, “I have known you for over 15 years, give me a single incident where I have disrespected you or reacted to you in a sarcastic manner? Your message doesn’t bother me but I would like for you to explain to me as to why you did that? What went through your head? You have your views and I have my views (which are the views of your teacher, you disagree with your own teacher as well do you react in the same childish, sarcastic manner to him too???”