1) Responsibilities – Islam emphasises to fulfill the rights of others. Be an individual that fulfills responsibilities even if others are not fulfilling your rights, lest Allah asks you regarding it on the day of Qiyamah. Fulfilling rights of family is often neglected today which leads to many problems and breakage in family.
2) Place of worship – Our home should be a place of worship and dhikr such that when salaah time comes, everyone should be busy getting ready. Someone at the sink, someone doing wudhu, someone getting the musalla. Rasulullah ﷺ foretold that people will make their house a graveyard. As in, salah will not be prayed in homes.
3) Islamic environment – How many of us have Qurans or Islamic books on our shelves? We should be studying Quran and Islam from young age. It should be accessible at home for the family and not only in the masaajid. We are running our children by the plug-in drug i.e the TV. Create a deeni Islamic environment at home and you will see someone learning, someone reading, ta’leem happening and women praying salah.
4) Mutual consulation – Do things with mashwara (mutual consultation). If the Rasulullah ﷺ was told to do mashwara regarding matters. He didn’t have to, but he was told. If that was the case for him, then in our situation we should seek consultation often. In similar manner involve your wife (family) in consultation so she feels part of the family otherwise from day one, she will feel like an outsider.
5) Remove shaytan – Get rid of shaytan from your home. The way to do this, is when you enter your house say bismillah. A hadith mentioned in Mishkat: When you enter your house and say bismillah, shaytan says to his colleagues ‘You don’t have a place of resting here in the night’
6) Good character –Rasulullah ﷺ said ‘The best amongst you is the one, who is best towards his wife’ [Ibn Majah] therefore become one who has excellent character who forgives others and has a kind heart. It is sad to say that today we do not smile enough at home but to the outside world, we are generous with our smile. Let’s start with family first.
[The above is an edited transcript from a nikah kutbah in 2017 by Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Nawab]
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