Tech Support for Women

[Yasin]

I came across a piece which I thought was brilliant. As it was probably written by a non-Muslim, it was in a way slightly, very slightly unislamic. So here's the updated version, hope it sends a good message.

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Technical Support for Women

Subject: Upgrade issues

Dear Tech Support,

Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
I noticed a distinct decrease in the overall system
performance, particularly in the flower, jewellery and gift
applications which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 blocked many other valuable
applications such as Romance 8.5 and Personal Attention
6.5 and then automatically downloaded unwanted software's
such as TV 16.9 Wide Edition, Football 2.0 and Money 24.7.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs under Husband 1.0 and
House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.1.3.0 to fix
these problems but to no avail. I scanned the entire system
using Complaints 2.1 but nothing is detected.

What can I do?

Reply

Dear Madam,

Firstly, please keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Illegal
Entertainment Package forbidden in all laws and societies but
widely accepted due to lack of laws, addiction and simply due
to the fact that it can be changed to any version when one
wills. Such a package is designed to work flawlessly and
provide the performance and entertainment that the user
seeks.

Husband 1.0 is not an entertainment package but a fully
functional operating system. When moving from an
entertainment package to an operating system, the
performance will decrease due to the expectations in the
process, application and utilities.

However, if you installed Husband 1.0 first then by the first
year, the operating system itself would have upgraded to
Husband XP with overall better performances. There'd be no
reasons to run the command ithoughtyoulovedme.exe and
there'd be no need to download Tears 6.2.

Many people also try the Guilt 3.0 update but this only leads to
system overheating and then constant shut downs. This is not
recommended.

Please also ensure that Mother-in-Law 1.0 is not installed in
the same Base Unit but is running externally as this can cause
a hardware conflict which results in Arguments 0.7 Beta and
other such malicious malware and spyware.

Please, in any case, do not attempt to downgrade to
Boyfriend 6.0 as this is an unsupported package and will
crash and format Husband 1.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 is a great program and an overall
performer and is not limited to just flower, jewellery and gift
applications.

On a final note, always let the system Husband 1.0 go on
Stand By, Hibernate and Shut Down every now and then to
increase performance.

We hope this helps.

Best Wishes,

Technical Support

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[Taalibah]

very funny and definitely a very good message!