Assalamu Alaykum,

After a woman has just been through the process of giving birth to a baby, she will be very weak, tired and she will feel very uncomfortable too. She will need all the help that she can get in looking after herself as well as her newborn baby. Postnatal care is just as important as prenatal care. It is these first few weeks where the new mother will be very sore and in need of lots of rest and it is the same few weeks where the newborn baby needs the mother and her attention the most so it can be very difficult for the new mother to get her rest especially if she has no help or other family living with her.

Many new mothers prefer to spend their first few weeks with their newborn baby, at their mothers home. This is so that they can rest and gain a quick recovery while they have their mothers taking good care of them and good care of the new baby too.
However, in recent times and certain communities it has become more of a tradition and a must for the new mother to spend the first 40 days after giving birth, at her mothers home. Also, in those 40 days one must not leave the house and must not take the baby out either and many other things people believe that one must not do in those 40 days.
Okay... not to take the newborn child out for the first few weeks in fear of the baby catching a cold etc.. understandable because it's for health and safety reasons but not to take the baby out because it has not yet been 40 days?? It really makes no sense whatsoever. This thing about going to stay at the mother's home is taken so seriously, that one does not even think about her own husband because it has been accepted as a must, like it's common sense.
People.... What is wrong with us? It is not compulsory or even preferable in Islam to leave your husband for 40 days and go spend time at your mum's house because you've just had a baby. I mean, there's nothing wrong with going to ones mother's house for her to help you and take care of you, what is wrong is displeasing one's husband if he is not happy with it and accepting that it is something that has to be done.

Here is a question I found on the website related to what has been mentioned above: http://qa.muftisays.com/?women

Sorry, that is a little off topic but I thought I'd mention it here as it had some relevance.

A mother needs to take good care of herself to rebuild her strength. You will need plenty of rest, good nutrition, and help during the first few weeks.

* rest:
Every new parent soon learns that babies have different time clocks than adults. A typical newborn awakens about every three hours and needs to be fed, changed, and comforted. Especially if this is their first baby, parents - especially the mother - can become overwhelmed by exhaustion. While a solid eight hours of sleep for you may not happen again for several months, the following suggestions may be helpful in finding ways to get more rest now.

*In the first few weeks, a mother needs to be relieved of all responsibilities other than feeding the baby and taking care of herself.

*Sleep when the baby sleeps. This may be only a few minutes rest several times a day, but these minutes can add up.

*Save steps and time. Have your baby's bed near yours for feedings at night.

*Many new parents enjoy visits from friends and family, but new mothers should not feel obligated to entertain. Feel free to excuse yourself for a nap or to feed your baby.

*After the first two to three weeks, introduce a bottle to breastfed babies for an occasional night-time feeding. This way, someone else can feed the baby, and you can have a longer period of uninterrupted sleep.

*nutrition:
A mother's body has undergone many changes during pregnancy, as well as with the birth of her baby. She needs to heal and recover from pregnancy and childbirth. In addition to rest, all mothers need to maintain a healthy diet to promote healing and recovery.

*The weight gained in pregnancy helps build stores for your recovery and for breastfeeding. After delivery, all mothers need continued nutrition so that they can be healthy and active and able to care for their baby.

*Whether they breastfeed or formula feed, all mothers need to eat a healthy and balanced diet. Most lactation experts recommend that breastfeeding mothers should eat when they are hungry. But many mothers may be so tired or busy that food gets forgotten.

help for new parents:
New as well as experienced parents soon realize that babies require a lot of work. Meeting the constant needs of a newborn involves time and energy and often takes parents away from other responsibilities in the home.

Although many parents do fine on their own, having someone else helping with the household responsibilities usually makes the adjustment to a new baby easier. Parents can concentrate on the needs of mother and baby, rather than the laundry or dirty dishes.

Helpers can be family, friends, or a paid home care provider. A family member such as the new baby's grandmother or aunt may be able to come for a few days or longer. Home care providers offer a variety of services, from nursing care of the new mother and baby to housekeeping and care of other children.

Whoever you decide to have as helpers, be sure to make clear all the things you expect them to do. Communication is important in preventing hurt feelings or misunderstandings when emotions are fragile these first few weeks. It is generally best for the new mother to be relieved of all responsibilities except the feeding and care of herself and her baby. This is especially important if she is breastfeeding. Others should assume the chores in the home such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping.

» Posted by ubuntu on 14th March 2009

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