Punishing Kids :: Muftisays Blogs

Bismihi Ta'aalaa,

Something I came across today. It's been a while since I posted an entry here but this one really makes me laugh and feel annoyed at the same time.

Naturally, the result of good behaviour is a gift or prize. Similarly, the result of a bad behaviour is a punishment of some sort.

I learnt today that a boy I know due to bad behaviour was given punishment. You probably want to know what it was right? Was his play station privileges taken away? No. Was he grounded? No. Was he given a spanking? No.

His punishment was serious, it was brutal, it was inhuman, it was outrageous and tormenting. What was done??? ... He was sent to Darul Uloom to be tortured by the knowledge of Qur'aan and Hadeeth. He was sent in the presence of Ulamaa to be burnt from the light and noor.

Why is it that parents feel that if a son is clever, smart and has potential, they'll send him to school, college and uni? They'll work on him, spend on him and live through him? And if a son is trouble, has no hope and is weak then they 'dump' him in Darul Ulooms?

I will simply conclude with two typical parental quotes:

To a good child:
We love you son, you make us proud. We will spare no expense to make you a doctor or whatever you want to be (as long as it's not an Aalim right?)

To a naughty child:
If you don't improve, if you keep behaving like this, we will send you to a Darul Uloom

This is how I see it:

To a good child, the parents are saying:
We love you son, you have potential. We will make you something for us to be successful in society. We will not let the dirt of Islam spoil your worldly reputation. We will ignore that 'no Islam' means hell fire but it'll be worth it for the tea parties we get invited to at rich peoples houses.

To a naughty child, the parents are saying:
We have had enough of you, we can't waste our valuable time and effort on you. We are willing to pay some bearded people to look after you for 6 or 7 years and by then you'll probably grow up a little. You don't deserve this family (I probably agree with the last bit. He surely doesn't deserve that family.

What is sacrifice? Giving gold for the sake of Allah or giving your unwanted out of date clothes that don't fit?

To all those parents who sent their sons to Darul Uloom knowing they had potential and were truly loved, I can't imagine how much reward is waiting for you in Jannah for that sacrifice. May Allah reward you dearly as you deserve. Aameen

To all those parents who sent menaces to Darul Ulooms to corrupt others and cause mayhem just to take the load off yourselves, may Allah have mercy on you.

Aameen

ummi taalib wrote on 17/10/2009:

AWW,
i was so happy to see this post. Many many parents "dump" their wayward kids in Darul Ulooms leaving the poor teachers to deal with them.
Aameen to your du'a . Alhamdulillah we were of those parents who sent a son who showed promise to Darul Uloom and he completed his Aalimiyyah at Jamiah Riyadhul Uloom (Leicester) last year. Please make du'a that Allah subhaanahu wata'alaa open up the doors of the khidmat of Deen and acceptance for him.

ummi taalib wrote on 17/10/2009:

Just thought i'd add that perhaps we should have hope and pray for the "dumped" kids so that they become shining stars in both worlds for the same parents who "dumped" them in Darul Ulooms, (girls who do not behave also i'm told, get dumped in female Darul Ulooms where they lead other innocent girls astray). May Allah protect the Ummah and especially the youth of the Ummah. aameen

hinna x wrote on 19/12/2009:

i just read this n yes its true that people do do that and its not nice really if you think about it the child on is misbehaving because thats the way you bought them up ..